Neighbour asking for money

[Redbird3]

It all started a few months ago. Next door neighbour messaged me on Facebook and asked if I could bank transfer her £10 and she would knock on with the cash. I get on with her so I said yes.

Ever since it’s got to the point that she is asking every day. If not every day then every other day. I have started to say no as I do feel like she is taking advantage. When I don’t reply she then messages DH. There’s been times where DH has transferred her money on the promise that she’ll come round with it asap but it’s been next day.

Last night around midnight she messaged me asking for £20. I was just getting in bed so I didn’t reply. She messaged again around 12:20 as I was dropping off to sleep which woke me up. Then around 12:30 she called me on Facebook.

I think it’s getting a joke now but DH disagrees and doesn’t see the problem. A couple of nights ago she messaged DH, he sent her £10, then she messaged again for £20 which he sent her, then again 10 minutes later asking for another £10!

AIBU in thinking this is just pure cheek?

Oh for goodness sake OP have you no self respect? Tell her she's doing your head in and taking the utter piss and if she asks either one of you again you won't speak to her and will block her on everything. Why would you even stand for that shite?

Have you totaled all up both from you and your husband? He may be surprised

It does seem strange why can't she go to the bank or post office and sort it herself ?

She has a drug problem and run out of other people to ask. I hope there is no children in that household!

My drug addict cousin does this to anyone who’ll fall for it.

Your husband is either completely thick, or he’s involved in it. His reaction isn’t normal at all.

I think a neighbour randomly asking another to transfer them some money is weird to begin with. Unless it was a neighbour we were close to, I would have said, “no sorry, that doesn’t feel right”. The first time. Your situation is crazy. I think it’s gone so far now that you really need to have a clear and unequivocal conversation about it with her. No avoiding, not replying etc, a straightforward, preferably face to face conversation where you state that the situation has gone too far and certainly for too long. Tell her not to ask for money again. She will probably keep asking your husband because he appears to be a gullible fool. May be show him the replies on this thread, so he can see that you are not being in the slightest unreasonable.

This ^ otherwise she could claim that you or your husband are paying her regularly for services rendered. Just say the account is refusing to make any further payments.

Should have said no from the get go

If you want an easy out just say the bank has flagged multiple constant small amounts in and out to one account (hers) and at odd times and so you need to stop. Text it to her then just don't engage anymore.

This sounds right to me. You really need to be careful @Redbird3 or it will start to look from your banking activity that you are doing something dodgy.

Has she got something on your husband. He seems scared to say no. You must stop this behaviour from her. Say you won't be lending again. I'm concerned you're elderly and she's using you.

Definitely separate the accounts, then if there are any legal consequences they aren’t on you.

This. He's not providing you with the entire picture.

Sit him down and tell him because he's decided to not validate and respect your feelings, and he would rather keep up appearances with the neighbour instead of his wife; then you would like for him to pack a bag and leave. Tell him he needs to leave because you need to protect your own wellbeing and finances, and if he's prepared to lie and pay for someone else's drug habit, that's fine, but it cannot be your concern and he is free to go do it elsewhere. Ask him for his keys and chuck him out. Remove all money from the account that's yours.

I’m might be missing something but if the neighbour is dealing and the police catches up with her and looks at her bank account which shows OPs ‘payments’ into the account as evidence OP is purchasing the drugs or involved in money laundering.

That’s a bit odd from your dh neither of you are obliged to help especially for weed and I would be pissed off with her timings midnight I would say seriously you having a laugh don’t contact me after 8pm and please ask other people rather than just us 2 all the time. It’s getting too regular. It’s also odd how quickly she’s offering to pay it back. Be careful of her.

That’s what she’ll say if it ever comes to court.

“I am doing a tech detox at the moment so I am not looking at social media and I leave my phone after 9pm.”

in the day, don’t answer.

If she needs food, I would just buy that and not just send money…but then if DH does it, that is him and he can deal with it. Ignore any further messages. She isn’t a friend and you don’t get on with her at all…she is doing your head in’ coz she request money from you and you don’t know anymore how to get rid of her.

Good luck 🌺

This is what I thought. Best to say no so you don't end up being an accessory to crime. If she is doing this to multiple people there could well be an organised crime dimension to it. I sat next to a forensic accountant for a bank at one of my temp jobs and he told me about some of the cases he solved - doing things in in small amounts to a large numbers of accounts/people is how dodgy operations go undetected. One crook took only penny amounts out of each account, never knocking it down to the next pound, but did it for 100,000 of accounts. People only remember the pound amount in their balance so they got away with it for years.

wants to get rid of cash.

I look at a lot of bank statements as part of my job, and this would put up a LOT of red flags. You are essentially a "money mule", and even though it is just one person, if the proceeds are from selling drugs or illegal working for instance, you could face prosecution. The standard in some cases are that you "likely knew" that there was something shady going on or the proceeds were from crime but never questioned it.

"he might have to"? Were those his precise words, OP "have to"? Why didn't you ask him why he might have to? It sounds like she's got something on him, but maybe not if you were the first one she always asked and then she progressed to him when you didn't answer or said no.
I'm afraid your DH sounds rather pathetic. She's using you both as a cash machine and I don't really understand why if most of the time she brings you the cash the next day? Just send her a message telling her you can't keep sending her money on an almost daily basis and she must now stop messaging you and your DH because you won't be sending her any more.

Really weird, I had a random neighbour who started doing this, asking for a few quid here and there.

I did it once or twice and then told him I'm not a bank 😂 people are just ridiculously cheeky.

Your dh is enabling her, have you got separate accounts? If it's his money let him crack on, if she's doing something illegal with the money it could come back to bite him...

Agree with money laundering vibes, and most likely from dealing. It might be a small amount with you, but if she’s doing the same to another 10 or 20 people every day, it starts to add up to a considerable amount.
Just say no from here on in. Just no. DH can carry on if he wants to from his own account but it’s likely to bite him on the backside at some point.

Her dealer not accept cash?
how very fancy

How do you know you aren't laundering money?