Neighbour asking for money

[Redbird3]

It all started a few months ago. Next door neighbour messaged me on Facebook and asked if I could bank transfer her £10 and she would knock on with the cash. I get on with her so I said yes.

Ever since it’s got to the point that she is asking every day. If not every day then every other day. I have started to say no as I do feel like she is taking advantage. When I don’t reply she then messages DH. There’s been times where DH has transferred her money on the promise that she’ll come round with it asap but it’s been next day.

Last night around midnight she messaged me asking for £20. I was just getting in bed so I didn’t reply. She messaged again around 12:20 as I was dropping off to sleep which woke me up. Then around 12:30 she called me on Facebook.

I think it’s getting a joke now but DH disagrees and doesn’t see the problem. A couple of nights ago she messaged DH, he sent her £10, then she messaged again for £20 which he sent her, then again 10 minutes later asking for another £10!

AIBU in thinking this is just pure cheek?

That's what i was thinking. If she's doing it several times a week but always paying it back in cash really quickly, I can't see any other logical explanation for it.

Helping once or twice per year would seem reasonable.
Are you helping her with gambling?

Why would it look suspicious? I often send my friend money when I want them to go shop for me as it's easier than me going out as I have 3 little ones 5 and under so its a hassle.

Don't be stupid! As if 😂

Irrespective of whether it’s being paid back promptly, she’s not being unreasonable, she has no obligation to lend anyone money, especially as it sounds she’s laundering her small time drug dealing money.

Absolute madness.

There is no legitimate reason for this behaviour. I suggest you learn the word “No”.

God how some people live …

It's hard to believe this is real! YANBU. I wouldn't lend her any, then maybe she'd grow up and organize her finances better. And turn your phone off at night!

I don't know much about money laundering but I think it'd be a lot more than a tenner a few times a week if that's what she was doing! Nothing really makes sense with this story tho

As someone else pointed out, it sounds like she is getting cash in hand (drugs? sex work?) but needs money in her bank so she can pay for legitimate expenses. It could be that she pulls this off with several different gullible fools friends/relatives/neighbours, which could add up to a few hundred pounds a week. Not exactly a huge scale operation but still extremely dodgy.

Your biggest problem is your husband one. WTF? The neighbour issue can be solved immediately with a flat out "No more." End of.

Absolutely this.
You could maybe have done it once but should not have agreed to a second request as she then knew you were a soft touch.

Tbf, her husband is even less boundaried than she is. They must go through life haemorrhaging money.

I had a chat last night with a friend whose son has learning difficulties and, while living in supported accommodation, was 'befriended' by someone who persuaded him to act as a money mule. Basically, they transferred £1000 to his account every couple of weeks and he then paid £980 in smaller payments to a series of other bank accounts. It's one way of money laundering. It was discovered when the police started tracking the money backwards. Because of his learning disability the police have just cautioned my friend's son but aren't going to take it any further.

Could your neighbour be doing something like this? You send her maybe £50+ a week in electronic transfers, she then gives you stolen or counterfeit notes that you pass into the system. If she had 20 or 30 other people cooperating as you are, she could launder quite a lot in a week, couldn't she? Be careful, OP. If this is what she's up to, you might be implicated. As people here have made very clear, this isn't normal behaviour and the fact that your DH is going along with it could be regarded as dodgy.

Money aside, the constant badgering alone would drive me up the bloody wall! I'd be pointing out that you're not her parents! That should hit home

Me too. Distributing random tens and twenties around the neighbours in exchange for nice clean money going into the bank account looks exactly like money laundering. OP, you have to stop your husband, for his own protection.

This isn't normal 'good neighbour' behaviour from either of you.
Lending a sum once - in an emergency or after a bit of forgetfulness might be but not this ongoing and frequent thing.

It isn't clear why anyone would need frequent small sums like this. Why have neither of you asked the purpose of this behaviour? (The suggestions about it being not straight in some way seem more likely as this goes on longer.)

Do you have an innocent explanation you could give if questioned why you were paying money to her so often? Just saying 'she asked' is probably not much of a defence if it is dodgy as it doesn't sound something most reasonable people would do.

Your husband is being a mug. No chance I’d have let it get to this stage.

I'm thinking maybe she is doing online gambling and needs the money in her account and obviously late at night can't go to a bank to deposit it I know someone who is constantly asking the same thing and he is addicted to online gambling

Exactly what I thought. Low level dealing.

OP, if she is dealing drugs then when she gets arrested (and she will, make no mistake about it) they'll look at her statements and see you & your DH regularly transferring money to her and will decide you're involved! They won’t believe that anyone could be daft enough to lend money this often without themselves suspecting drug dealing. They'll assume you & your DH are purchasing drugs from her and paying via bank transfer!

The fact that your husband is doing this so willingly and so often makes me wonder if he is being supplied by her himself and knows exactly what she's up to.

Why haven't you asked her why she needs to do this? She clearly doesn't need to borrow money if she's paying it back the following day every single time.

What's her reasons for needing in the bank and only having actual cash?

I’d say she’s either drug dealing and you’re effectively laundering money for her, albeit at a low level.

Or she’s blackmailing your husband.

Does she ever pay you back?

We have neighbours who have on several occasions asked for money (small amounts, then larger amounts) my husband told the person outright that he never lends anyone but close family money, as it never leads to good things. They have accepted that and haven't asked since.
Your friendship cannot sustain this, so please just tell them no, and to pay you back what they owe you (if they haven't yet) also agree with the comments about this being possibly a gambling habit.

Sounds like she’s ’laundering’ cash from drugs sales. You transferring the money to her bank gives her a legitimate source of her funds.