Sad about how life has turned out

[Cinno]

Can't help but feel sad about how life has turned out as a single mum. I know I'm suppose to pretend to love it but I can't, I hate it and I'm so lonely and miserable it's not early days so no it won't "get better" I hate it the more time goes on. How do you get over the fact life hasn't turned out how you'd hoped?

36 and single since 28 and think your best years are gone?
FFS.

I feel for you OP, bringing up four kids with no practical, emotional or financial support must be brutal.

My situation is different to yours, but I relate to the sadness. Even though I understand your point about dating/relationships, please don’t think it’s a magic solution, find what makes you happy first x

Did you allow yourself to become pregnant during a stable relationship, or was it so-called "accidental"? Your first step towards happiness might be to start accepting that your own decisions landed you where you are, life didn't "hand you out" some awful things. We've all made poor decisions at some point, but a pity-party won't help you in the end.

Really random that you think she tricked her ex into pregnancy. Where has that come from?

I find the OP frustrating, but I think that this is a bit of a reach. The OP has four children, not one, and while I think that that was a foolish decision on both her and her ex's part, it isn't fair to say that she oopsed him.

I still can’t get my head @Challenger2A7 around the @Cinno having 4 children at the age of 28. Completely unheard of in my social circle . No plan B and pro creating children with a mentally unwell man “hoping for best “ it seems.

She said she’s 36 so I’m not sure where you got 28 from.

The youngest child is 7. Subtract 7 from 36… it’s not 28 but it’s close…

I see, that’s really not THAT uncommon. That poster has just come to have a go at OP and judge her.

Just correcting your misapprehension, not making any judgement of the OO.

And then correcting your own slightly dodgy maths I see 😅

Some right nasty Mary Poppins types on this thread!!! Oh to be practically perfect in every way. Op, I've learnt the hard way that there are a lot of lovely people on mumsnet but there are some that are vicious and judgemental. I hope the kind replies have helped x

I am really sad that you feel this way about your life and hope that things will change for you soon.

No. Just assuming - rightly it turns out - that you would make a big deal of one year. Also OP has said she’s been alone for 8 years, so the PP possibly assumed the child was 8…

There is noone in my social circle with 4 kids tbh, let alone 4 while they're under 30. I think that's more uncommon. I didn't have my first until I was 35.

I desperately wanted 3, my then husband said no and although my marriage has since ended, I said at the time that I'd really much rather be a married mother of 2 than a single mum of 3. Everybody loves babies but they always (save a tragedy) grow up, anyone with any sense wouldn't have more children than they could deal with alone as one never knows what's around the corner. That's not judgement, it's common sense. It's really upsets me to see a mother with such an obvious dislike for her own children.

OP said the child was 7. And I wasn’t making it the big deal of the year at all, it was a lighthearted joke! What an over reaction!

The disdain that OP has for her kids really gets me, as well. I feel so bad for them, which is why I can't feel too sorry for the OP.

Sorry @cardibach I quoted the wrong person 😂

Eh? I didn’t say you had. I don’t see anyone saying that.
Edit: what was a joke? You were the one who didn’t seem to know the child was 7, incidentally.

Are you ok??

I’m fine. You are making no sense. Have a good evening.
Edit: oh right. I see. You haven’t read properly. I said you would make a big deal about ONE year - ie 7 not 8n- not the big deal of THE year.
I’m out. No point trying to help someone to understand when they refuse to read.

Yes I misunderstood a line, your posts had errors too and you totally misunderstood the tone of my post making a lighthearted joke of you correcting your maths (because you literally edited the post to correct it, it was honestly lighthearted not a dig) and decided to be on the attack over nothing. And criticise my reading when your maths was crap and you’ve had to edit nearly all your posts after rereading (proving nobody is perfect). So enjoy your flounce you miserable moody person. 🤯

Some of the posts on this thread show why the OP didn’t want to mention she had 4 kids.

The fact the op didn’t want to mention doesn’t mean it’s not relevant

Good grief the amount of judgment and pointless argument on here. OP it's bizarre that you get judged for having had four children at a relatively young age. Really, and????

Please ignore. I suspect there's envy at play. I wouldn't have minded a fourth...