To refuse DH a bottle of wine

[Fore]

My DH bought 8 cans of beer and a small bottle of bubbly last night. I've rationed the bubbly so I had some last night and whatever I feel like tonight. By 6pm tonight, DH had drank all his 8 cans. There's a bottle of wine I bought a few months back to keep on our cocktail cabinet as I love the bottle. He hinted he'd like some but then muttered 'hm the bottle that I can't have'. I then heard him say, 'i'm going to have some'. I asked him if he would please not. He has now been sulking with me all evening. AIBU?

Your husband is an alcoholic or?

He doesn't drink through the week but Friday and Saturday, 6-8 cans is fairly typical.

😭 why can't he pop to the off license?

And wine if it was up to him?

Why can’t he drink it? Does he have a drinking problem and you’re trying to put in some boundaries? Because it’s ok to have the odd weekend of having a few drinks.

If he isn’t an alcoholic and is normally good about alcohol consumption then what’s the problem? He can buy another bottle. Weird thing to be controlling over.

Because I know be won't replace it. He's done this in the past with things he's broken for example, promised to replace and never does.

Agree with this

Yes, I think because he had too many of them last night and didn't feel like he had enough tonight as a result.

If the bottle is just for show on a cabinet because you like the look of it, does it even matter whether it has the wine inside?

I think it's fairly silly to have a bottle of wine for show. But in the flip side I imagine he's quite drunk after 8 cans so I'd have no time for him sitting swigging for the rest of the night, unless you enjoy the company of drunk people.

Yeah good point.

I can’t imagine only having one bottle
of wine in the house 🫣 If you just want the bottle for it to look nice I’m not sure why it needs to have wine inside. But equally he shouldn’t sulk about not having your own wine. Why can’t he go to the shop?

He's currently asleep on the sofa, this (perhaps unreasonable) irritates me too. It feels like this should be time together we're enjoying. After alcohol, this usually happens and he doesn't come to bed until the early hours. Perhaps this is playing in to all this.

Can another bottle not just be picked up/ordered next time someone does the shop? I don't think I would have a problem with someone drinking display wine, it's not like it's a rare trinket that you got while backpacking in along the amazon river. It's just a bottle of wine.

We're not big wine drinkers really. We have baileys, gin, rum etc but as these are more of the things I drink, and I don't drink a lot, we have plenty left.

Doesn’t sound like you’ve any concern about his drinking just concern for the bottle so in that case I’d let my DH drink it and either replace it or just display the empty bottle.

Of course he shouldn’t touch your wine. Sounds like he’s grumpy because he had drunk all his alcohol and will now drink anything. What a waste of a good bottle of wine and it’s also fuelling his alcoholism. If he’s grumpy because he can’t drink more after already having 8 cans over the last day, that is worrying

Also just to answer the question about replacing, it's a bit expensive for me. Though I accept I could display the empty bottle.

Sell it to him

He's had 8 cans across the two nights as I understand it. Could have had 5 last night and 3 tonight thus fancies another drink. OP having wine for show is ridiculous. Would be different if it were a special bottle you were saving to drink on a particular occasion or one gifted to you.

I really don’t see why you (OP) shouldn’t be allowed to say “this is my display bottle of wine” if you want to. Even if it’s irrational, so what?

He’s not entitled to something of yours just because he wants it.

Does he buy the booze he drinks or expect you to?

6-8 cans of beer. That's binge drinking surely?

I'm curious what the display bottle of wine is!

So this is 8 cans of beer over two nights? If he brought them last night and has now drunk them all to be honest that is not too much. 🤷‍♀️ It’s a display bottle of wine. Let the guy drink it and either just one of you replaces it or display it empty.