To refuse DH a bottle of wine

[Fore]

My DH bought 8 cans of beer and a small bottle of bubbly last night. I've rationed the bubbly so I had some last night and whatever I feel like tonight. By 6pm tonight, DH had drank all his 8 cans. There's a bottle of wine I bought a few months back to keep on our cocktail cabinet as I love the bottle. He hinted he'd like some but then muttered 'hm the bottle that I can't have'. I then heard him say, 'i'm going to have some'. I asked him if he would please not. He has now been sulking with me all evening. AIBU?

the constant reference to the definition of binge drinking is making me LOL

This is another of those threads where people really need to look behind the posts (assuming they've even read past the first one)

Obviously never seen real binge drinking.

I would say 3 beers are just an initial thirst quencher at the door getting in… after that I may consider what I might like to drink for the evening.

I love threads like these because by the end the OPs husband will be a binge drinking alcoholic serial killer who has just done a ten mile round trip in his car while blind drunk to get more booze lol somebody has already quoted someone's post to say "he shouldn't be driving to get more" when all the poster said was "he can go out and get more if he wants more" nobody mentioned him driving so why even add that to the conversation haha it's mad on here sometimes

It's far more cost challenging to drive an Audi, RR over it's contracted miles than the cost of a bottle of wine. A bottle of drink, that may have been four years in the planning at least. Cheap really. Labels cost so much money. Frequently the liquid is the cheapest part. We are ripped off here! Unless you buy from enthusiasts, who really want you to enjoy the whole experience for the best value/taste. If you like the label or bottle, drink the contents and decant your fav. Easy.

Don’t be absurd

he’s not an alcoholic or a binge drinker. He’s an adult who’d like to have more than three cans of beer on a Friday night,

It does sound like binge drinking though. 5 cans at home last night for no particular reason is quite a lot. And at what time did he start drinking today to have drunk another 3 cans by 6pm? As someone with a lot of first hand experience of problem drinking, it is classic alcoholic behaviour to finish all the available alcohol and then start scouting the house for anything else they can top up the alcohol levels with, which is why he focused on your special display bottle of wine.

You are either on the wind up or just completely tone deaf.

I think it depends on what experience you've had in life as to how much you perceive as a lot.

For me, five cans is huge, though it also depends if it's spread over a day or within a couple of hours.

Exhibit A

Who lives with people like this?
I’d have to put one of these under the patio.

I can't imagine living in a house with his and hers bottles of stunt wine like this. We just have a wine rack and beer in the fridge. Help yourself if you want one, no matter who paid.

28Fluctuations
Dh is a binge drinker. That would be the problem here. No doubt it's the root of many problems in your relationship.

Don’t be absurd

he’s not an alcoholic or a binge drinker. He’s an adult who’d like to have more than three cans of beer on a Friday night,

Sorry but 5 cans one evening then 3 cans the very next day by 6 pm absolutely is excessive and is problem drinking. Running out of booze then trying to get your hands on whatever is available to keep going, yup problem drinking.
~recovering alcoholic, 5+ years sober but I do recognise very familiar patterns

I'm curious now, what's the wine in the ornamental bottle?

"Five cans is huge".

Where I come from, five cans is what folk have if they're having a quiet night aff it 😂

Don't any of you buy special bottles of wine for special occasions?
Why should he get to drink the special wine rather than wait to share it with his partner?

Oh please! 😂

My daughter and son in law bought my wife and me a bottle of Cygnet gin for Christmas.
It is so lovely that it's on display on the dresser. It makes me happy because it's intrinsically good to look at and because DD and SIL chose it.

I also have Wolf gin and I like that bottle so that's on a shelf near my Robin Hobb books; one if her most compelling characters is a wolf. (The bottle is empty as the gin was very nice. ☺️)

However, this is not the only alcohol in the house and I would open the gin if DW or I wanted to drink it.

If you don't want to open your wine and you know your DP won't replace it, well that's your choice!

He had five cans of Friday night, leaving him "only" three for tonight which is why he was eyeing up OP's wine.

Absolutely. It would be like feeding a pig grapes. He'd neck it and then fall asleep! Again! 🙄

Exactly, so different reference points due to different life experience.

That said, I am aware of some problem behaviours in my own father from when I was too young to understand. Things like driving us when he'd had a bit too much. Those were not smooth journeys. Bloody irresponsible and a complete failure on the part of my mother to put her foot down and allow it to happen.

I've never liked alcohol, so easy for me to avoid completely because I don't feel I'm missing anything.

Fucking hell, MN is mental. Where 8 cans over 2 nights can be perceived as binge drinking or having an alcohol problem is mental to me. 😂Surely its just relaxing and letting off steam over the weekend after having a busy and stressful working week, What the hell is wrong with that??

An average can of beer is 330ml isn’t it? Half a pint? So five cans is about 2.5 pints, 3 if he’s on the larger cans … hardly excessive. Some of the puritans on here!!

Plenty of people buy very expensive wine with no intention of drinking it - as a brewer (vintner?) surely you would know that?

It is quite a lot for the body to have to process and deal with, and it's not great for his health. Especially every week. However, it's his liver and health, it doesn't look like he's driving after it, so I don't personally care what he does.