To refuse DH a bottle of wine

[Fore]

My DH bought 8 cans of beer and a small bottle of bubbly last night. I've rationed the bubbly so I had some last night and whatever I feel like tonight. By 6pm tonight, DH had drank all his 8 cans. There's a bottle of wine I bought a few months back to keep on our cocktail cabinet as I love the bottle. He hinted he'd like some but then muttered 'hm the bottle that I can't have'. I then heard him say, 'i'm going to have some'. I asked him if he would please not. He has now been sulking with me all evening. AIBU?

Over 2 days? No it's not.

Sounds fun round your gaff.

really ? I have juts opened the last bottle of white wine in this house. pay day nit till 25th so can't afford any more 🤣really enjoying it now. wine is to be drunk and not be on display. unless it's red wine in this house 🤣 gladly swap 5 bottles of red for a nice bottle of chablis of anyone has one 😅

Sounds like there’s an alcohol problem in your house to me to be honest. We/I am not a drinker at all and the fact it’s causing arguments makes me think it’s an issue for you both (?). If it’s a habit that can’t be stopped without a lot of noise I would say it’s alcoholism tbh.

It's the rationed bubbly for me. A thimble full on Friday so I can have an eggcup full on Saturday I'm sorry OP but I have a vision of you making a quarter bottle of Prosecco last all weekend.

You're gate keeping and controlling his drinking, as though you were his mother rather than his wife. Whether that's because he's a problem drinker or because you are overbearing I don't know, but in either case it's not a healthy dynamic.

8 units of alcohol in a sitting is defined as a binge for a man so 4 cans of beer in one go probably constitutes a binge as most cans are 2 units

Beer then wine, you'll feel fine apparently

I don’t have any bottles 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t really drink tbf, last time was New Year, next time will possibly be May when I go on holiday.

For me it depends whether you have any plans to drink your wine. I have one of those men who thinks if you don't want it now, you don't want it at all, which is very frustrating. I want to wait until I fancy it. On the other hand, the notion of keeping drink for display purposes is utterly alien to me. As is taking little sips from a mini bottle of fizz.

Doesn't look quite as nice I don't think? I display nice bottles too.I do think It's silly-especially because I'll sometimes have a house full of 'nice' bottles of wine and spirit and if I want a drink I'll go to the shop and buy myself a bottle of £6 plonk instead of drinking my 'naice' stuff!

Could you put some water and colouring in it?

Or some fairy lights (If that's your thing).

If he's fallen asleep he's clearly had enough, I would put the bottle out of sight out of temptation in case he wakes up and go to bed.

@Fore So he's had 8 cans (last night?) and tonight, and before falling asleep was sulking with you because you wouldn't let him open a bottle of wine? Yeah, he has a drink problem and he's a charmless, disrespectful pillock. Does he have any redeeming qualities OP?

It doesn’t matter what it is, I’m assuming you own that bottle and therefore it’s up to you when it’s opened.

It does sound like he has a problem. Maybe not with alcohol but using it to fill a void at the weekends. This is based on him falling asleep btw.

OP wrote in her first post: "By 6pm tonight, DH had drank all his 8 cans." That's definitely binge-drinking.

@AngelicKaty I took it that they'd both had a drink last night and he's then finished the rest of his 8 cans this afternoon / early evening.

Sorry to clarify, he bought 8 cans last night. I think he had 5 last night and by 6pm tonight he'd had another 3. It maybe sounded wrong when I said he'd had 8 by 6pm, I just meant since he bought them last night. It's not binge drinking but this seems quite a lot to me every week.

not really

Can we see the wine bottle? <missing the point>

If the display bottle has been there a long time, you may find it’s not very nice. Sometimes the corks shrink a bit naturally. That certainly happens with champagne if you don’t store it on its side (found this out the hard way with three bottles!!).

Yes, sorry, I misunderstood OP's original post and her clarification is in line with your understanding. 😊

If I was your DH I'd make a display of beer cans on the cabinet to compliment your not for drinking wine bottle

Give him a break OP

Crikey. This sounds like a very uptight household. Perhaps you should both open the bottle, have a drink and chill out!

It is a lot OP - a can of beer contains 2 units on average (sometimes less, sometimes more depending on alcohol % and size of can) so he's drinking at least 16 units per week. The NHS recommends men and women not to drink more than 14 units a week on a regular basis and the fact that he's choosing to drink them over two nights, rather than spread them out of the week, is absolutely binge-drinking. I think you need to do some research OP so you understand what you're dealing with.