Page 5 | To refuse DH a bottle of wine

Fore · 2025-02-22T20:55:43+00:00

My DH bought 8 cans of beer and a small bottle of bubbly last night. I've rationed the bubbly so I had some last night and whatever I feel like tonight. By 6pm tonight, DH had drank all his 8 cans. There's a bottle of wine I bought a few months back to keep on our cocktail cabinet as I love the bottle. He hinted he'd like some but then muttered 'hm the bottle that I can't have'. I then heard him say, 'i'm going to have some'. I asked him if he would please not. He has now been sulking with me all evening. AIBU?

Jc2001 · 22/02/2025 23:43

Mrsttcno1 · 22/02/2025 21:02

If the bottle is just for show on a cabinet because you like the look of it, does it even matter whether it has the wine inside?

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Because it's her bottle of wine, not just there because he's consumed all other alcohol in the house and has no off switch.

Charlize43 · 22/02/2025 23:44

I don't really understand the concept of keeping a bottle of wine just for decorative show, as it is for drinking... It will go off and turn to vinegar unless it is of a special vintage.

Literallynoonecares · 22/02/2025 23:45

Fountofwisdom · 22/02/2025 23:01

It does sound like binge drinking though. 5 cans at home last night for no particular reason is quite a lot. And at what time did he start drinking today to have drunk another 3 cans by 6pm? As someone with a lot of first hand experience of problem drinking, it is classic alcoholic behaviour to finish all the available alcohol and then start scouting the house for anything else they can top up the alcohol levels with, which is why he focused on your special display bottle of wine.

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5 cans is not a lot!! 😂It is normal relax chill out behaviour after a busy week for most people. 3 cans by 6pm fucking hell call the police!! 😂I also have first hand experience of problem drinking and this is called just enjoying your weekend and having a few drinks.

Didimum · 22/02/2025 23:47

Literallynoonecares · 22/02/2025 22:34

Fucking hell. 8 cans of lager over two nights is an alcohol problem 😂FFS i'm deeply in trouble then.

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Seems as though you may be, yes. Wishing you the best.

Literallynoonecares · 22/02/2025 23:50

Didimum · 22/02/2025 23:47

Seems as though you may be, yes. Wishing you the best.

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My life is great thanks. I’m awesome!!

PigglyWigglyOhYeah · 22/02/2025 23:51

It’s only in recent years that the recommended alcohol intake per week for men has dropped from 21 units to 14.

I don’t really understand the concept of a wine bottle being used as an ornament, but then there’s a lot about modern life that I find confusing.

AngelicKaty · 22/02/2025 23:51

Literallynoonecares · 22/02/2025 23:41

Fucking hell, MN is mental. Where 8 cans over 2 nights can be perceived as binge drinking or having an alcohol problem is mental to me. 😂Surely its just relaxing and letting off steam over the weekend after having a busy and stressful working week, What the hell is wrong with that??

https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/facts/health-effects-of-alcohol/lifestyle-effects/binge-drinking

Literallynoonecares · 22/02/2025 23:53

AngelicKaty · 22/02/2025 23:51

https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/facts/health-effects-of-alcohol/lifestyle-effects/binge-drinking

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Thanks for that. But I will continue to enjoy alcohol on the weekends and enjoy my life. 😁

AngelicKaty · 22/02/2025 23:58

JockTamsonsBairns · 22/02/2025 23:18

"Five cans is huge".

Where I come from, five cans is what folk have if they're having a quiet night aff it 😂

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Yeah, but as your username suggests you come from Scotland, that's understandable. 😂

farmlife2 · 22/02/2025 23:58

Literallynoonecares · 22/02/2025 23:53

Thanks for that. But I will continue to enjoy alcohol on the weekends and enjoy my life. 😁

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Which you are free to choose to do. If I came to your home, I'd be asking for juice though.

The only alcoholic drink I like is rose. Since being diagnosed with a gut condition I choose to avoid even the twice a year I might have had one though.

JockTamsonsBairns · 22/02/2025 23:59

AngelicKaty · 22/02/2025 23:58

Yeah, but as your username suggests you come from Scotland, that's understandable. 😂

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Glasgow no less! 😂

Didimum · 23/02/2025 00:00

Squidgemoon · 22/02/2025 23:42

An average can of beer is 330ml isn’t it? Half a pint? So five cans is about 2.5 pints, 3 if he’s on the larger cans … hardly excessive. Some of the puritans on here!!

An average bottle is 330ml. An average can is 440ml and about 2.4 units. So over 19 units every week within 2 days.

It’s nonsensical that people boil the argument down to ‘being puritan’ or ‘OTT’ or whatever other kind of moral judgement you want to hypothesise is taking place. It’s literally a measurement at which the likelihood of alcohol-related disease turns from low risk to high risk. Do with that what you will, but it is what it is.

MumGuilt101 · 23/02/2025 00:00

Good lord. Other people’s marriages.

AngelicKaty · 23/02/2025 00:05

Didimum · 23/02/2025 00:00

An average bottle is 330ml. An average can is 440ml and about 2.4 units. So over 19 units every week within 2 days.

It’s nonsensical that people boil the argument down to ‘being puritan’ or ‘OTT’ or whatever other kind of moral judgement you want to hypothesise is taking place. It’s literally a measurement at which the likelihood of alcohol-related disease turns from low risk to high risk. Do with that what you will, but it is what it is.

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Exactly. People on here can joke about it in their state of denial, but I'd love to be a fly on the wall if they told their GP what they genuinely drink a week - I don't think their GP would find it so hilarious.

User1786 · 23/02/2025 00:07

Squidgemoon · 22/02/2025 23:42

An average can of beer is 330ml isn’t it? Half a pint? So five cans is about 2.5 pints, 3 if he’s on the larger cans … hardly excessive. Some of the puritans on here!!

Average can of beer is 440 unless it’s here craft types so 3.9 pints. Whilst not quite a gallon it more than meets the nhs description of a binge.

StormyPotatoes · 23/02/2025 00:08

Whether the DH is binge drinking or not is irrelevant to the point. The bottle of wine is one OP bought for herself. It doesn’t matter if she’s keeping it for the decoration and storing for best in case the King visits. It’s her bottle to do with as she chooses. It would be like not using a candle or a fancy looking bottle of oil and keeping it for decoration only. It’s fine, you don’t have to ‘get it’ but it’s OP’s to use as she pleases.

If DH wants wine and there’s none in the house, he can walk to the shop to get some.

duc748 · 23/02/2025 00:08

I don't normally comment on threads like this, but I will here, FWIW. I'm a man, and I like a beer (I make my own, in fact). So I'm not as strict on alcohol as many MN posters. But I think, if you're falling asleep on the settee, than you're drinking too much. You need to be waking up the next morning feeling just fine. If you don't, you have a problem.

LittleMonks11 · 23/02/2025 00:09

The ornament bottle of wine isn't the problem.

Littlemisscapable · 23/02/2025 00:10

SP2024 · 22/02/2025 21:04

I can’t imagine only having one bottle
of wine in the house 🫣 If you just want the bottle for it to look nice I’m not sure why it needs to have wine inside. But equally he shouldn’t sulk about not having your own wine. Why can’t he go to the shop?

This !

KerryBlues · 23/02/2025 00:10

User1786 · 23/02/2025 00:07

Average can of beer is 440 unless it’s here craft types so 3.9 pints. Whilst not quite a gallon it more than meets the nhs description of a binge.

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Less than four pints constitutes a binge session??
It's nowhere near a gallon, it's not even half.

MumGuilt101 · 23/02/2025 00:10

duc748 · 23/02/2025 00:08

I don't normally comment on threads like this, but I will here, FWIW. I'm a man, and I like a beer (I make my own, in fact). So I'm not as strict on alcohol as many MN posters. But I think, if you're falling asleep on the settee, than you're drinking too much. You need to be waking up the next morning feeling just fine. If you don't, you have a problem.

What nonsense is this. I can easily fall asleep on the couch with no alcohol. And a hangover once in a while does not an alcoholic make.

beencaughttrollin · 23/02/2025 00:12

If it's easily replaceable, I'd quote him the cost and get him to confirm in writing that he'll replace it. For effect, I might make him sign his name in blood.

XiCi · 23/02/2025 00:12

So your DH had drunk 3 cans tonight and fancied a glass of wine and you wouldn't let him open one? Jesus Christ, I can't imagine being in a relationship like that.

MumWifeOther · 23/02/2025 00:15

No one needs to have a bottle of wine after 6-8 cans of beer, just sat in their house… madness.

MotherJessAndKittens · 23/02/2025 00:16

If he wants to open it fine as long as he replaces it. Wine goes off eventually and that would be a waste. Have to say we buy the wine we like to drink not because of the bottle and it’s in the garage not displayed but some bottles are pretty nice to look at.