To refuse DH a bottle of wine

[Fore]

My DH bought 8 cans of beer and a small bottle of bubbly last night. I've rationed the bubbly so I had some last night and whatever I feel like tonight. By 6pm tonight, DH had drank all his 8 cans. There's a bottle of wine I bought a few months back to keep on our cocktail cabinet as I love the bottle. He hinted he'd like some but then muttered 'hm the bottle that I can't have'. I then heard him say, 'i'm going to have some'. I asked him if he would please not. He has now been sulking with me all evening. AIBU?

Yes it is a binge! Approximately 10 units, maybe more in one go. The weekly recommended maximum is 14 units. I’m shocked that you think it is not a lot

After 3 cans you wouldn't let him have an old, probably oxidised wine? 🍷 you sound miserable!

Is it a bottle of Dom Perignon?

Surely he’s had enough today, 8 cans over two days is quite a lot.

I believe 2 pints of normal strength beer is technically classed as binge drinking. In the US, people are in AA for that much.

So he's had 19 units in a week? Considering the guidelines for men are 21 in a week, I doubt the doctor would bat an eyelid.

Sure, week in week out going totally mental isn't great, but another glass of wine or two?
Unless he's a nasty drunk, I'd cut him some slack and share it with him.

I wonder if there are other relationship issues at play, which make this feel like some kind of disrespect.

I don't brew Art, there are plenty of people who do that. I like people to enjoy the taste and come an assist if they wish. There's no business for me, selling one bottle of wine to sit on a shelf for ten years. Repeat UK custom, is the enjoyment for all. I brew real Cider too, hundreds of gallons. A lot is given away, as it's a social thing. I have no desire to see someone not being able to afford a decent, organic tipple. It's not expensive to produce once you're set up. I'd rather see people happy and not settle for artificial tasting rubbish. If you want to come and see my set up, just ask! Beware thou' piss takers don't usually get past the gate!

I'm struggling to understand buying a bottle of wine because it has a pretty label rather than because it is a nice wine.

@Ohfgswhat Sorry, I'm not a cider drinker.

That's a relief. More Cider and Wine for others.

You're out of touch - the guidelines are 14 units pw for both men and women. From the NHS website:

To keep health risks from alcohol to a low level if you drink most weeks:

• men and women are advised not to drink more than 14 units a week on a regular basis
• spread your drinking over 3 or more days if you regularly drink as much as 14 units a week
• if you want to cut down, try to have several drink-free days each week

14 units is equivalent to 6 pints of average-strength beer or 10 small glasses of lower-strength wine.

Wtf?!

Oh no, I love wine - just prefer to drink it in moderation.

but I'd love to be a fly on the wall if they told their GP what they genuinely drink a week - I don't think their GP would find it so hilarious

All the medical doctors I know drink plenty themselves so I bit think they'd be overly surprised about a bloke drinking a few cans over the space of a weekend.

Five cans of beer in a short amount of time is a lot of drinking.
Enjoying oneself drinking that amount does not change that fact.

Is Mumsnet a dry state and no one told me?
This is a bit excessive, surely?
No pun intended.

I come into contact with plenty of heavy drinkers. Many are Doctors, GP's and Consultants. There's a lot of do as I say, not as I do out there. For example, one Consultant claims a litre of wine a day is acceptable! Think that is their consumption, not a recommended daily amount. My GP would push all the panic buttons at the suggestion of two bottles of wine a week. Comment is not a reflection of my respect for her.

Drs I believe are the number one profession for not only alcohol abuse but drugs as well!

To clear up the mystery for you, at least for one explanation anyway, if I buy wine it's for other people. I don't actually know much about wine, so one bottle is much the same as another to me. So I buy from something on the label appealing to me. Either a nice design or a funny name that appeals to my sense of humour (though that tends to be for beer, which I also only buy for other people).

I don't see the point in having a display bottle of wine with wine in it- just dei k the damn thing and keep the bottle if it's the bottle you like. This doesn't seem to have anything to do with the display bottle though.

He is an alcoholic. Sorry op.

Officially, binge drinking is more than 8 units in a single session for men, and 6 for women. Whether or not you agree with that is a different matter, but that’s the official definition.

And I say that as someone who regularly puts away far more than that.

This whole discussion of how much is too much - depends on the person.
I know people that turn into total arse holes after one or two drinks. Yet I also know people that can pack away half a dozen like it's nothing and not even look, feel or act tipsy.
Personally, I fall into the second category. I usually pack away a moderate number of drinks on a friday or saturday evening.
Not because I'm an alcoholic but because it's just a nice way to unwind and spend an evening after a long week at work... I don't have or need to - sometimes I don't.
If my partner started badgering me about it then too bloody right I'd get the hump. I'm a grown adult and can make my own choices, I'm not bothering or causing a problem to anyone, nor causing an inconvenience.
If for whatever reason there was a problem, I hope that my partner would come to me and talk about it like an adult.
Also, sometimes I fall asleep on the sofa too, whether I've had a few drinks or not.
I work my arse off in the week for my family to make sure we have a good home and all the things we need. My partner and kids want for nothing. So yeah, unless I'm being an arse or causing a grievance to anybody too right I'd kick off if someone started telling me what I can and can't do.

@farmlife2 But presumably you buy wine or beers for others in the assumption they'll think 'ooh that's a pretty label' and then open it, drink it and whack it in the recycling, not put it unopened on a shelf for the rest of time like an ornament. That's what people (including me) in the thread don't grasp. Buying wine as an ornament, rather than a beverage.

I do buy it for drinking (pretty label is the only real draw for me with buying it, because I don't know much about wine. To me wine is wine, even though I know that's not true for those who know about wine). But I can actually understand someone wanting a collection of pretty bottles, if that's their interest. I don't really see it as a big deal that someone wants to keep a bottle of wine just because they enjoy owning it. The only thing I'd do differently is have a few allowable bottles in the house instead. Or maybe DP can organise that, since he's the one who cares so much.