Aibu to drop racist student

[HeadacheEarthquake]

Aibu to run a mile
Yes YABU teach her to behave
YaNBU - run away and find new clients

I am currently teaching a pensioner to the tune of £320 a month to play piano and violin

She has often referred to German composers as "Krauts" and French composers as "Frogs". She does not know I am part French.

I assumed this might be generational and have gently discouraged it but this weeknsje used the terms "gayboys" when referring to some local salon owners after a breezy conversation about nail polish then went on to remark thay the ABRSM books always seem to "have to have a coloured on the front"

I said "does that matter" and she was visibly shaken and messed up her piece terribly.

I want to end the lessons with her but would like to know whether anyone would consider paying something and appealing to her better nature and having a conversation about appropriate manner in lessons rather than just writing them off.

Yours,

A multinational teacher in turmoil.

That's interesting to hear - as I said earlier she only had good things to say about their services. I'm very torn.

Id see this as a generational thing and continue to earn a decent wage, you're there to teach her not parent her. Id like to see how many of the posters saying you should drop her actually would irl.

Students will bring up all sorts of general chat. Nationality of composers obviously. Nail colours, obviously, we are using our hands. General life. That's how it works. You are a human as well as a teacher.

I'm not ageist. I teach plenty of pensioners that are delightfully liberal and forward thinking. But it is a question as I've never heard anyone young say "Kraut"... that's a WW1/WW2 slur.

As a gay man I've had more 'offensive' words said to me than gay boy 🤣.

She's an old age pensioner and you are a teacher. You've said she's liberal. Don't you think there is an opportunity here?

My parents are in their 80s and wouldn’t use that terminology. It’s not a generational thing.
I think I would probably just ignore it to be honest.

I'm willing to try, it reached a point today I was uncomfortable with and I made it clear with my tone and she was visibly embarrassed, so maybe it's worth having the conversation before flouncing.

Also can I just say your username is excellent, that's the misheard lyric I always sing over the real ones when someone plays super trooper

Nah 🤷🏻‍♀️ I wouldn’t drop her for using the “wrong” words when there is no malice or intent behind them. I don’t use those kind of words myself but I don’t really care if others do. Be a different story if they were making derogatory comments.

My grandad once said that all homosexuals are paedophiles and that they should be taken to a deserted Island and shot. I'd probably drop a student who said that.

He soon changed his mind when his grandson came out as gay though 🤣.

I think it’s generational. She’s liberal in her attitudes, in that she hasn’t been nasty about the “gayboys” etc. It’s just that she’s using old-fashioned terms that she doesn’t realise are now considered to be offensive.

Other people of her age have realised it and stopped using those words, but not everyone has.

If she was a young adult in the 70s, there was plenty of language of that type around then.

Benedict Cumberbatch referred to “coloured people” a few years ago and was roundly criticised for it. He seemed genuinely mortified when it was pointed out to him that this wasn’t acceptable language now.

Interesting he changed his mind! My friend had a similar thing said to him by his own grandad who then continued to say it to his face with increasing regularity when he came out.

Not good that he said it originally but good that he stopped!

Should we be looking out for another "my extra-curricular tutor just dropped me for no reason" thread?

Haha maybe! Although she's not been neat a curriculum for decades.

My retirement hobby tutor has fucked off in a right huff maybe...

I do enjoy the angry parent threads there was a great one recently from.one who hadn't paid repeatedly and got replaced and was outraged

Well you can't be all that offended by the terms she is using, if you were then you'd have spared us all the misery of having to read them. To simply tell us they were outdated and racist would have painted an adequate picture.

My nan would have probably pushed anyone down the stairs if they hurt her grandchildren, her husband included.

Joking aside, he would've been about 98 now if he'd still been alive, but he did stop his disgusting vitriol once he knew he had a gay man in his family.

Sorry for the misery

Your original post says you want to drop her, so why do you need the permission and opinions of strangers? I sense a tad of virtue signalling here.

Frog and Kraut - seriously? Even you admit Kraut is a post war slur barely uttered in decades and yet her mother is alive and still active in far right politics! How old are these women? I would class 'Karen and Gammon' more offensive, also 'terf' and yet they are bandied about without an eyebrow raise. I tell couldn't get over excited about the use of gayboy either - I used to work with a lot of gay men and they are using a hell of a lot stronger to describe each other.

It's your business, you make the decisions and if you don't like her bin her off but you don't need a bunch of strangers to give yourself an inflated moral high ground for few outdated words.

Ah, now I'm thinking of Nanna in The Royle Family, sitting on Barbara's kitchen counter whilst getting pissed at baby David's christening party.

"Ehm Mary...what is it they do exactly?".

I’m mixed race so I’m more used to racism and I don’t think I drop her. She sounds harmless enough. To some degree I find it quite interesting. I’m also aware that carers of all cultures in care homes are trained to deal with these kinds of attitudes as they’re not uncommon in elderly people.

Such nonsense - I was a tutor as well, ages ago, as a student, in no-pc times and not once did any of my pupils mention race, nationality or suchlike. They were too interested to use every minute of my time. A brief - hi, how are you? And we get on with a lesson. End of lesson, out of the door, fast. What a weird post.

My nan is still alive and really looks like Liz Smith too 🤣

That's the one I was thinking of too!!!!!

No
The student is a pensioner. Her mother is long dead.

I teach another, who is young and who's mother expresses far right rhetoric online.

Please read more carefully.

Virtue signalling? Yes okay. Thanks for your input. It is noted but not relevant many others have given far more insightful views and I am considering their differing views but I am glad you enjoyed your moment of hauteur

No
The student is a pensioner. Her mother is long dead.

I teach another, who is young and who's mother expresses far right rhetoric online.

Please read more carefully.

Virtue signalling? Yes okay. Thanks for your input. It is noted but not relevant many others have given far more insightful views and I am considering their differing views but I am glad you enjoyed your moment of hauteur

How old were they though. Adults like a chat, maybe it's the formal kids tutor exam focused environment you're referring to.