When a relative bites your child

[Roberta2020]

I don't want to delve into details, because I am still angry about it.
Let's just say that a relative on my husband's side bit my child to teach them 'how it feels when you bite your brother'.
I was raised to be respectful of elders, so obviously I said nothing and consoled my screaming child, but since then I have felt unable to leave my child alone around that relative.
The relative in question, after saying 'I did it for his own good', changed their tune and started saying they did not do it in front of my husband. My child is adamant he was bitten.
I trust my child. I am not willing to leave him alone with that relative again.
Am I being unreasonable? Am I being too much? Should I give them the benefit of doubt?

You bit a 2 year old?!

Developmental.

Umm how about no? My little boy bit me once. Very firm words worked and he didn’t carry on biting. Assaulting a little child is not the answer here… especially if you’re not the parent!!

My son used to bite me on the knee-cap / soft underside of my arm, basically he was an opportunist biter. He was 15 months old though. I never bit him back but it was always painful and a shock. He stopped finally when he had surprised me so much that I burst into tears.
I would just avoid this relative in future, OP.

How old is your child OP?

I know right 🤯

My children must have missed that stage of development

To counter some of the remarks on here that belong in the last century, if not the bin: my first child was a terrible biter around the age of one. A finger on his mouth and a stern “no biting” and he got the idea. Various older people told me to bite him back. I really don’t see how you could do that to a child.

Have you posted this before OP. It seems very familiar?

Yep, as did my other child. Not all children are the same.

YANBU. Nonsensical to tell a kid not to bite, and then bite them.

This.

WTF, someone bit your kid and you "obviously did not nothing as you were raised to respect your elders"? And now you're wondering if you leave your kid alone with them in future?
It is not their place to punish your child.
Why the hell did you not have their back after?!
How ever old your kid is, shame on you.

Oh no, I’m old school in some ways but not in this one. I would have hit the roof if my DSs’ grandparents hit or bit them, no matter what the ‘reason’.

Biting a small child back to "teach them a lesson" is a stupid, ignorant idea, first of all. It's unnecessarily harsh for a little one who most likely doesn't even know what they're doing. Just saying in a stern tone, "Ouch!" or "No, we don't bite" or a short time-out will do.

Second, this relative was in no way authorized to physically discipline your child anyway.

I would definitely not allow them access to my child again. Also, parents are under no obligation to keep quiet with anyone on earth when it comes to their child's welfare. I'd at least tell this person, or have your husband tell them, that they were way out of line and are not to ever touch your child again or the police will be notified, end of story.

I had a workmate who told a tale of doing this to her 2 year old, I told her it was a horrible thing to do and I would never do it to my son

It’s actually the lying to the husband and giving a different story when challenged that would really be the nail in the coffin for my relationship with this person.

It is not up to a parent to decide it is ok to bite their child.it is illegal !

My daughter used to chomp down on my nipple while breastfeeding at 6 months old...and laugh. I just stopped breastfeeding and gave her bottles

I can't believe that you are boasting about biting your 2 year old.

Old school punishments for children, such as corporal punishment in schools, are now illegal. Did your bite leave a mark? If so, it was probably illegal too.

Lucky you

this was not abuse, it may be considered abuse now by the flaky way in which we parent It was abuse, it is considered abuse now because it is abuse.

Plenty of parents can control their kids just fine without resorting to abuse and violence. If you're resorting to abuse or violence, you've lost control and have no place giving advice to others.

since then I have felt unable to leave my child alone around that relative.

They get no contact. You need to call the police.

Not the point. At all.

Don't be silly! Like many MN posters, this will say 'he is exploring with his mouth'....