When a relative bites your child

[Roberta2020]

I don't want to delve into details, because I am still angry about it.
Let's just say that a relative on my husband's side bit my child to teach them 'how it feels when you bite your brother'.
I was raised to be respectful of elders, so obviously I said nothing and consoled my screaming child, but since then I have felt unable to leave my child alone around that relative.
The relative in question, after saying 'I did it for his own good', changed their tune and started saying they did not do it in front of my husband. My child is adamant he was bitten.
I trust my child. I am not willing to leave him alone with that relative again.
Am I being unreasonable? Am I being too much? Should I give them the benefit of doubt?

I would have gone ballistic honestly and wouldn’t allow my child anywhere near them again.

That’s disgraceful and age is absolutely no excuse.

Sorry, what??

Legally an adult is an adult and a child is a child. The criminal age of responsibility is ten in the UK.

Nah, I’d have absolutely none of that.

By their logic did you bite them to teach them not to bite your child? Perhaps you need to (seemingly).

How they disciplined their own children is their own business, but there’s no need to be biting children.

Respecting elders BS is what leads to children being in compromising positions and not speaking up. Adults who do not act appropriately don’t get my respect.

Thanks for this, I agree.

Many people do give puppies a gentle nip in response to a bite. (It’s what their own mothers do to the puppies to discourage them from biting her). Another technique some people use when puppies mouth hands, is to give a slight pull on their tongues.

Maybe we should all just bite our children once they turn around 2 years old, even if they haven’t bitten anyone. Might as well show them what it’s like so they don’t start doing it. Why wait until they start biting to teach the lesson! Maybe give them a slap and good hair pull as well, get ahead of that.

People claiming they bit their children but “not to hurt them” so they would “know what it’s like”…how did they “know what it’s like” if you didn’t do it to hurt them? That doesn’t make a whole lotta sense.

What ? You just sat there after someone assaulted your child meek as a mouse ?

What is wrong with people ?

Many people do that indeed. And many people are f**king insane.

I’ve worked in animal rescue for decades and puppies know their human owners aren’t just giant fleshy dogs. They are massively intelligent and understand our body language so much better than we understand theirs. It isn’t hard to teach a puppy not to play nip without biting them like a psychopath.

Theres a reason we don’t parent children like dogs.

Should we start taking our 2 year olds outside for a shit?

Why are you asking, you obviously know the answer! But on here you will be told 'exploring with his/her mouth' with an add-on that it is 'perfectly normal'. Aye.

100% agree with this. I have no idea who parents like that? You teach children that aggression is wrong and model different behaviours. As the parent you are the adult in the relationship and should surely be better equipped than to retaliate.

Disgusting. I wouldn't be seeing them again. It sounds like a "punishment" circa 1900.

You seem to be a big advocate for physically punishing children and all I’m going to say is it clearly never taught you any manners or respect.

Brilliant proposition, only 99.9% of children don't bite, sorry, 'don't explore with their gobs'.

My daughter bit me on the thigh once at about the same age. Hard enough to leave marks and a big bruise. I jumped and shouted (it was a bit of a shock) and then calmly told her off and she never bit me or anyone else again.

You really don't have to bite your kids to teach them lessons!

I’m not advocating it as a training method. I haven’t read any research on the topic, and have no idea what the evidence basis would be. Yet I do know that it is what every bitch does to her own puppies….

Because dogs can’t talk and humans can. Hope this helps.

What a bat shit thread.

So, do we burn children..just second degree, mind..to stop them touching hot things?

The old chestnut of ' It was a different time' is absolutely no excuse. " Oh I was serial killer in the '80s, everyone was it, it was a different time " .

I've noticed a few posters itching to say parenting is too woke and snow flakey these days. The ' non liberal' Gran comment was a bit telling.

As for the OP not saying anything due to respecting elders..Jesus wept, I hope your dc doesn't grow up remembering how you didn't defend them.

You’d be a pretty poor parent if you did anything but ensure your child is not ever left unsupervised with this abusive relative. How dare they?

And as for ‘respecting your elders’? What archaic nonsense is this? You’re an adult.

Jesus this is such an archaic approach. Vile. I wouldn’t allow them with my child again.

But….why didn’t you speak up?

My god. What bloody wicked parents. Stapling? That’s unspeakably awful to mete that out in retaliation. What kind of sick parent does that?

This can’t be real surely … that you stood by and did nothing while your child was screaming after having been bitten by an adult?

I think you have a mistaken view of child development, that percentage is entirely incorrect.

For example from the Welsh government: Most children go through a phase where they will bite another child or adult. They do not understand that they will hurt someone if they bite. Children usually move on from biting.

If one of my relatives did this they'd be in a wheelchair.

If someone did this to my child I'd be in prison. I'd have to relieve her of her teeth so she doesn't have the means to bite children anymore.