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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not share my inheritance with sibling?

371 replies

MoneyFromMyGodmother · 20/02/2025 14:42

A few years ago, my godmother died and left me some money. Not a huge amount, less than she left her own children but a bit there was also a smaller amount left to my DC (I only have 1) whom GM met multiple times – one of GMs DC is Godparent to my DC. For context until her death I saw GM 2-3 times (both here and where GM lived about 200 miles from me) a year, we video called monthly, and when DC was born GM came to visit us and stayed in a hotel nearby, cooking for us and made DC a toy that they still treasure now.

I have a sibling, who has different godparents to me. To my knowledge sibling has had no contact with their godparents ever. I know at least one of their godparents has also died but they were left nothing.

To me this isn’t my problem, I didn’t expect inheritance from my GM, it was a nice surprise when their DC contacted me and said “Mum left some money for you and (DCs name), can I have the bank details to pay it into?”

My mum, especially, but both parents think it’s unfair and I should split my money between me and sibling and share DCs money with DNs. It would give me half and DC a quarter of what was left to them.

I want to keep it all, but if I do share it, it’ll be mine I share and not DCs (I’ve moved theirs into a 30 day notice access ISA in their name anyway so can’t easily get at it) so I’ll be left with less than 5th of what was left to me.

Like I said it’s not a huge amount, enough for a once in a lifetime holiday, or to clear my debts but not enough to be life changing. Dc received less than me and I will be topping it up before they turn 18 to make it a bit more (once debts are cleared) but it’s still not a huge amount.

If it makes a difference I'm a lone parent (ExH not allowed contact), sibling is married to the other parent of their DC.

AIBU to not share mine and DCs money?

OP posts:
Zusammengebrochen · 20/02/2025 14:44

No, why on earth would you?
Your godparent left it to you.
Your family sound entitled.

PleaseDontFingerMyPouffe · 20/02/2025 14:44

Absolutely agree it's yours to keep & no ethical, moral or familial obligation to share it.

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 20/02/2025 14:45

YANBU - if your godmother wanted to leave money to your sibling she would have done.

And actually legally you can’t share DC’s money anyway, so would telling them that get them off your back about it?

Jellycatspyjamas · 20/02/2025 14:45

No, there’s no reason to share your inheritance. Your Godmother wanted you to have it, do something lovely with it - even if lovely means paying off debt.

NoForwardingAddress · 20/02/2025 14:45

Nope. All yours. It was left to you and your child, your God mother has no connection to your sibling.

whowhatwerewhy · 20/02/2025 14:46

No I wouldn't, especially what has been left to your DC.
It's been left to you because of the relationship you had with them .

Cherrysoup · 20/02/2025 14:46

Why on earth do your parents think they have a say and that you should share it? It’s nothing to do with them or your siblings. Take the holiday or whatever you want to do with it. Why should you or your dc be deprived?

Dotto · 20/02/2025 14:46

I'm really sorry your family are being so rude and unreasonable. It would really put me off them.

Do they have form for this?

LookItsMeAgain · 20/02/2025 14:46

It’s not your fault your parents picked a terrible set of God Parents for your sibling vs who they picked for you.

Its also not your responsibility to ease their inadequacies by splitting a small sum of money that was left to you specifically.

My advice would be to politely (at first) tell them to keep their noses out of business that doesn’t concern them, and them if pressed tell them that you’ve already invested it for your own child’s benefit and there’s nothing left.

gokartdillydilly · 20/02/2025 14:48

Pay off your debts with this, which is your money. 'Money's gone'. The end.

catcurl · 20/02/2025 14:48

I thought this was going to be a question about an abusive parent leaving onto only some of their children or something!

This is clearly ridiculous. Your GM was not your siblings GM. It sounds like your family are just having a go to see what happens!

There is no obligation here to share whatsoever. In fact it would be odd if you did!

LookItsMeAgain · 20/02/2025 14:48

Also to add - use this as a learning experience for you, so that in future, you’ll only share things with them that you really want to share with them - be that information or more.

Tagyoureit · 20/02/2025 14:49

How did your family find out about it?

But I wouldn't share it, it was left to you.

loropianalover · 20/02/2025 14:49

Absolutely not and honestly how fucking rude of your parents to say this!! The money was left for you and DC.

Tell your mum to go to your siblings remaining godparent and ask how they plan to include them in the will, if she’s so bothered.

MoneyFromMyGodmother · 20/02/2025 14:50

They know about the money as my mum decided to find the will online when looking at another relatives Will. I have seen it it does say "X amount for MoneyFrom and half that amount for (DC name) their child from the sale of my house, the remaining proceeds to be split equally between my DC" it doesn't say DCs has to be held in trust.

My mum says it's not fair because my sibling won't even inherit anything as parents have literally nothing to their name - they rent, don't drive, have no money or pensions etc.

Sibling has always been slightly favoured over me especially by mum.

OP posts:
thrifty24 · 20/02/2025 14:51

No I would consider this going against GD wishes too, if she had intended to leave something for your sibling she would have done so. Enjoy!

Hoppinggreen · 20/02/2025 14:51

No way
Apart from anything else it would be hugely disrespectful to your Godmother who left it to YOU

Tagyoureit · 20/02/2025 14:51

Also, this happened a few years ago so what's changed?

Why is this an issue now?

AllThePotatoesAreSinging · 20/02/2025 14:52

Legally you are not allowed to share out the inheritance of someone under 18 as they can’t consent to it. You are legally bound to look after it for them until they turn 18 (this is the minimum age a child can take ‘ownership’ of an inheritance) or it’s held in trust under whatever terms are stipulated in the will. The will might not say it has to be held in trust, but there is still legislation covering this. Just say no. Agree this is very poor behaviour from your parents.

Tagyoureit · 20/02/2025 14:53

Your mum needs a new hobby rather than looking up people's wills online! Shockingly nosy!!

JHound · 20/02/2025 14:54

I would not share a penny. Your parents are bonkers.

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 20/02/2025 14:54

What a shame you already spent it, in that case. No money left to give to your sibling! Oh well…

LostMyLanyard · 20/02/2025 14:55
  1. I'm very impressed that you still have this small inheritance after a few years!
  1. Tell your family to fuck off 👌🏻
BMW6 · 20/02/2025 14:56

Your Mum was looking at wills to see if any was coming to her. Grabby bitch!

Do not give sibling any of it. You had a relationship that she didn't. Don't be guilted into disregarding GM's wishes expressed in her will.

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 20/02/2025 14:56

Not saying you should share at all but how would you feel if the situation was reversed.

That is what would determine what I would do if it were me