To not share my inheritance with sibling?

[MoneyFromMyGodmother]

A few years ago, my godmother died and left me some money. Not a huge amount, less than she left her own children but a bit there was also a smaller amount left to my DC (I only have 1) whom GM met multiple times – one of GMs DC is Godparent to my DC. For context until her death I saw GM 2-3 times (both here and where GM lived about 200 miles from me) a year, we video called monthly, and when DC was born GM came to visit us and stayed in a hotel nearby, cooking for us and made DC a toy that they still treasure now.

I have a sibling, who has different godparents to me. To my knowledge sibling has had no contact with their godparents ever. I know at least one of their godparents has also died but they were left nothing.

To me this isn’t my problem, I didn’t expect inheritance from my GM, it was a nice surprise when their DC contacted me and said “Mum left some money for you and (DCs name), can I have the bank details to pay it into?”

My mum, especially, but both parents think it’s unfair and I should split my money between me and sibling and share DCs money with DNs. It would give me half and DC a quarter of what was left to them.

I want to keep it all, but if I do share it, it’ll be mine I share and not DCs (I’ve moved theirs into a 30 day notice access ISA in their name anyway so can’t easily get at it) so I’ll be left with less than 5th of what was left to me.

Like I said it’s not a huge amount, enough for a once in a lifetime holiday, or to clear my debts but not enough to be life changing. Dc received less than me and I will be topping it up before they turn 18 to make it a bit more (once debts are cleared) but it’s still not a huge amount.

If it makes a difference I'm a lone parent (ExH not allowed contact), sibling is married to the other parent of their DC.

AIBU to not share mine and DCs money?

The part about them thinking you’d have made it up is very sad and says a lot. I wouldn’t be doing anything I didn’t want to in order to make them happy.
Do not let them guilt trip you into sharing. Keep the money.

You had a relationship with your GM, she remembered you and your DC in her will because of your relationship - nothing to do with your sibling or DN. Please use the money to clear debt and then save for that holiday. You never know what's ahead so make yourself secure. Please try to avoid being drawn into discussion on the matter. State your intention and then move on, you don't owe anyone an explanation. It may feel uncomfortable at times, but as time goes on they'll get the message. good luck

I hope you have said you’ve spent it.

Don’t give them anything, you know it wouldn’t happened if the situation was reversed.

Your GM’s wishes were that it goes to you and your DC not that it go to others in your family. If she’d known this is what would happen she may have made her will differently. I don’t think it’s fair that others are putting pressure on you.

Absolutely do not share that money and take this as a lesson in the future not to tell anyone when you get any sun of money. Keep your finances private.

Err cheeky question, but what's this will website? 😂

No don’t share it. It was left to you and your dc by your god mother as per her wishes. It’s horrible that your parents are undermining them!

I find it completely abhorrent that your mum would look up the will of your godparent. It is just so grabby. The money was given to you to do as you wish and I'd be inclined to tell your mum that you are under no obligation to share and won't speak of it again.

Your mother sounds particularly unpleasant.

NO NO NO Why should you share your parents are being selfish fuckers I know parents like this don't pay your debts off go on the holiday it's memories that your son will remember kot debt the fun time you spent together before they get to old that they call you bruh 🤣 go and enjoy it please please please don't give them any

No.

that’s all. It’s not your responsibility to fill a gap your parents will have in leaving either you or your sibling anything. It’s your GM.

Just say you are doing what GM wanted. You’ve already booked a holiday with your money and DCs is in trust till they are 25.

if that doesn’t work then a simple fuck off, I said no. I’m a single parent with a child to raise and that’s my priority.

Well boo hoo, your parents should have picked better godparents for their other child then, shouldn't they? Boot on the other foot, neither you nor your DC would see a penny! The money was left to you and it's none of anyone else's business what you do with it - they need to get over themselves.

Pay off debts and have done with it as even on 0% you still have to pay the fee. Plus then the worry is gone. Going away on a holiday would probably rile up your family more.

I have no children. If I leave money to my younger friends, I don't expect or want them to share it with their siblings - I'll be leaving it because of my connection with my friends.

“My mum says it's not fair because my sibling won't even inherit anything as parents have literally nothing to their name”.

So you are expected to give your sister some money because your parents won’t be in a position to leave her anything? Blow that! Godparents are always a bit of a lottery - two of mine inherited from their godparents; the others got nice presents but I doubt they’ll be left anything. You, OP, kept up the relationship with your godmother - enjoy your inheritance and don’t let your parents guilt you into giving it away.

I think you need to be honest and say it’s been swallowed up by debts and you’ve none left.

They can’t fight over nothing.

Just adding an alternative perspective:

How would you like it if you left money in your will to someone important to you, and their relatives bullied them into sharing it with other people?

As another poster said your family are being very disrespectful to your late GM by trying to alter what she chose to do with her money. But I would also point out to your parents that they chose her as GM so, if they chose a woman who they think made bad decisions that is down to them.

Not the point of the thread. But I'm touched by the sound of the lovely relationship you had with your GM and her family.
And obviously ignore the request to share. No need to justify or explain.

Was musing about this and I wonder...

Your Godmother clearly did better than your parents. She must have been intelligent and knowing. So I wonder if she saw first hand the preferential treatment your sister got at your mothers hand and decided to make up for this in her will. It was all she could do. After all, what on earth is to be criticized about a GM leaving a gift in her will for her GD and her child?

Secondly, your father chose her as your GM. I wonder if there are some feelings your mother has about this, especially as she became much more financially comfortable than your mother. Envy of GM's life, jealousy surrounding her friendship with your father?

It may not be the case but I am thinking that there may be more to this than you know about.

Either way, as a I said above, dont share. You know full well that your mother wouldnt be asking this of your sister if she inherited and you didnt, so fuck them. And then fuck them off.

They know about the money as my mum decided to find the will online when looking at another relatives

I don't think it works like that. You can't just go on a website and look up all that detail. You have to paid a small fee to view a will. So if your DM told you that she "just looked it up", she's telling porkies, she will have purposefully found your GMs details, paid a fee and then received the Last Will which makes the whole situation really really grubby! Who does that to one's own child?!

that money is legally your's. The fact your sibling would even think of taking a penny of it is dreadful. Sorry you have such an awful family.

Your mum is the one who chose crappy GP's for your sibling. Life's not fair. They should accept that it's also not fair to ask you to share something from someone they have no relationship with. (So is reading their will like bloody vultures.)

Playing devils advocate, if I chose my 2 children's god parents, and one godparent fulfilled the role dutifully and kept in touch throughout their life, and the other godparent dropped off the face of the planet and was never in touch, I might possibly feel a little guilty about my poor choice of the missing godparent.

Not saying I would enforce a child to split the inheritance that is rightfully theirs, but in a weird way the parent could be trying to appease their own guilt that the other child missed out on not only a caring godparent, but also the inheritance.

I don't think it works like that. You can't just go on a website and look up all that detail. You have to paid a small fee to view a will. So if your DM told you that she "just looked it up", she's telling porkies, she will have purposefully found your GMs details, paid a fee and then received the Last Will which makes the whole situation really really grubby! Who does that to one's own child?!

This^^

I am appalled that your mother has actually done this. It never ceases to astound me how some people feel that other people's business is any of their concern.
Your mother needs a new hobby!
As PP's have already said, you cannot share your child's inheritance with anyone else as it is not your money to give.
Your own money is yours to do with as you please. If, and I do mean if, you decided to share with your sister, I would split the amount down the middle and give her half. I would not be giving any money to her children. That's up to her.
Personally, I would tell my mother that I have already used the money to clear my debts, so there is nothing left to share.
Oh, and I would also be tempted to tell her to keep her beak out of other peoples business in future.

Keep it - the gift is yours