To not share my inheritance with sibling?

[MoneyFromMyGodmother]

A few years ago, my godmother died and left me some money. Not a huge amount, less than she left her own children but a bit there was also a smaller amount left to my DC (I only have 1) whom GM met multiple times – one of GMs DC is Godparent to my DC. For context until her death I saw GM 2-3 times (both here and where GM lived about 200 miles from me) a year, we video called monthly, and when DC was born GM came to visit us and stayed in a hotel nearby, cooking for us and made DC a toy that they still treasure now.

I have a sibling, who has different godparents to me. To my knowledge sibling has had no contact with their godparents ever. I know at least one of their godparents has also died but they were left nothing.

To me this isn’t my problem, I didn’t expect inheritance from my GM, it was a nice surprise when their DC contacted me and said “Mum left some money for you and (DCs name), can I have the bank details to pay it into?”

My mum, especially, but both parents think it’s unfair and I should split my money between me and sibling and share DCs money with DNs. It would give me half and DC a quarter of what was left to them.

I want to keep it all, but if I do share it, it’ll be mine I share and not DCs (I’ve moved theirs into a 30 day notice access ISA in their name anyway so can’t easily get at it) so I’ll be left with less than 5th of what was left to me.

Like I said it’s not a huge amount, enough for a once in a lifetime holiday, or to clear my debts but not enough to be life changing. Dc received less than me and I will be topping it up before they turn 18 to make it a bit more (once debts are cleared) but it’s still not a huge amount.

If it makes a difference I'm a lone parent (ExH not allowed contact), sibling is married to the other parent of their DC.

AIBU to not share mine and DCs money?

My mum says it's not fair because my sibling won't even inherit anything as parents have literally nothing to their name - they rent, don't drive, have no money or pensions etc.

That's not your problem

Sibling has always been slightly favoured over me especially by mum

Evidently. Still not your problem.

This is an open door to a more secure future for you and your kid. Take it.

Not sure what you read to come to that. Firstly you can't legally distribute what isn't yours so the child doesn't lose out.

Secondly I didn't say the OP was wrong to make whatever decision she chooses. I stated what I would consider if it was me.

We all have a different view on life, just looks like ours differ

Absolutely not. The OP is a single parent with some debt. Her sister should not be expecting any of the money, the GM left it to OP and her child. It isn’t anything to do with luck.

I hate it when people offer to share other people’s money, they are always so generous when the move isn’t their own.

I think the only answer to your mum would be 'as I'm in debt, I have a responsibility to my child to make sure we are financially secure, so i need to prioritise clearing my debt and building up savings so I never have to go into debt again' basically lean heavy on the 'I'm doing this for your grandchild' shtick.
Any further questions:
'Mum, I have to clear my debt and make sure I'm secure for [DC name], it would be irresponsible of me to not to, I'm sure sibling would want their niece/nephew's financial security to be prioritised over it being 'fair''

I like sharing with my family inc siblings but in your scenario OP, I wouldn't be sharing. It is clearly not a huge amount. If it was , I might think differently.

Agree with others , absolutely don't share it.
It's your money.

Tell your nosey mother to fuck off as it’s so completely and utterly none of her business!

I wouldn't in that situation

Tell them they should have chosen your siblings GP's better.

1. None of their business. That's terrible she was nosing around the will.
2. She's feeling guilty that she won't leave anything and she's scapegoating you so then it's your fault not hers that your sibling won't ever inherit.
3. Sibling has a partner so half the work of parenting and easily double the opportunity to work and earn. Unless there's a back story they should be helping you out if we follow your mums logic.
4. Your GM wanted you and dc to have it. She could have split it if she wanted. I wonder if she knew what your mums like.
5. Depending on your plans, it could be that you used it to pay off debt so have nothing left due to the extra expenses being a single parent. So nothing there anyway.

Red flags with your dm here. Don't let her gaslight you anymore. It looks like she's a bit of a bully towards you

You have debts. Pay them off.

And your mum sounds like a delight, poring over people's Wills. Yuk.

I think the only answer to your Mum would be "No."
I have got an adult godchild, I am close to their Mum and to their sibling but they are my godchild and I do treat them a bit preferentially. I would think its completely fine to leave money to a godchild and their family and not to siblings.

That’s not your problem. It’s on your parents that they haven’t built up assets to leave their DC, that’s not your fault or your problem. Keep your money and clear your debts.

This. Parents are probably feeling guilty now and pushing that guilt onto the OP.

One reason that it's relevant that you're single is that they think you're an easy target. I daresay your sister's husband would have something to say if half an inheritance was snatched away from her.

That money was kindly left to you because of the relationship you and your child had with your godmother. Your sister didn't have a relationship with her so doesn't deserve anything. If you and your sister had equally cared for your godmother and put in equal efforts, then I'd think differently, but that's not the case here.

Just say you've paid off your debts and that's used up all the money and that it's illegal for you to give away your daughter's inheritance.

This is utter madness. Just tell them you are using it to clear debts and you can’t keep yourself in debt because of their entitlement. It’s insane you’re even contemplating giving anything to them considering you are a single parent in debt, this will be a huge help for you.

Please show them this thread if they think you’re being unreasonable.

God god, no. I don't understand why they feel entitled to this at all. I understand why they'd feel envious at having drawn the short straw of GPs while you got an inheritance from yours, but that does not nothing to change the fact that they are not entitled to expect any of it.

There's no reason to share it any more than you might share a bonus gained at work. You were given the legacy because of your relationship with your godmother, there's nothing more to it.

First post is bang on! Sorry but she was your GM not your sisters, so it's nobody elses little windfall but yours! She should have kept in touch with her own godparents and as for your mum and dad, no, not their business either!
Treat yourself, it sounds like you had a lovely relationship x

Honestly, with things like this, I'd say if you don't have tell other people, then just don't tell them. This isn't a life changing amount of money by the sounds of things so it's not as if it would have been hard to keep it a secret. It's no-one's business but yours.

I still have the money, I couldn't decide what to do with it so stuck it in a high interest account until I can decide.

My DC really wants to go to a particular place on holiday, the money would cover it, so I'm tempted to book it and just go, raise a glass of my GMs favourite drink to her while away.

But equally I could pay off my debts with it and then save for the holiday.

TTTFO

Why on earth does your mum feel the need to try and interfere here? Money was left to you and your DC, nothing to do with any of the rest of your family.
Also-how incredibly intrusive of your mum to go and look up the will details online!!!

No I wouldn't, but I would pay off your debts and then if anything is left treat your family to dinner at a mid priced restaurant (no high end but better than McDonalds) rather than blow it on a holiday