To not share my inheritance with sibling?

[MoneyFromMyGodmother]

A few years ago, my godmother died and left me some money. Not a huge amount, less than she left her own children but a bit there was also a smaller amount left to my DC (I only have 1) whom GM met multiple times – one of GMs DC is Godparent to my DC. For context until her death I saw GM 2-3 times (both here and where GM lived about 200 miles from me) a year, we video called monthly, and when DC was born GM came to visit us and stayed in a hotel nearby, cooking for us and made DC a toy that they still treasure now.

I have a sibling, who has different godparents to me. To my knowledge sibling has had no contact with their godparents ever. I know at least one of their godparents has also died but they were left nothing.

To me this isn’t my problem, I didn’t expect inheritance from my GM, it was a nice surprise when their DC contacted me and said “Mum left some money for you and (DCs name), can I have the bank details to pay it into?”

My mum, especially, but both parents think it’s unfair and I should split my money between me and sibling and share DCs money with DNs. It would give me half and DC a quarter of what was left to them.

I want to keep it all, but if I do share it, it’ll be mine I share and not DCs (I’ve moved theirs into a 30 day notice access ISA in their name anyway so can’t easily get at it) so I’ll be left with less than 5th of what was left to me.

Like I said it’s not a huge amount, enough for a once in a lifetime holiday, or to clear my debts but not enough to be life changing. Dc received less than me and I will be topping it up before they turn 18 to make it a bit more (once debts are cleared) but it’s still not a huge amount.

If it makes a difference I'm a lone parent (ExH not allowed contact), sibling is married to the other parent of their DC.

AIBU to not share mine and DCs money?

No. Your GM clearly expressed their wishes by leaving the money to you and your DC and those wishes should be respected. Had she wanted your siblings to have a share she'd have stipulated as much.

I understand the pressure you're being put under from family but I'd simply reiterate the above to your parents.

"Im going to respect GMs dying wishes." End of conversation.

Don't you dare share it!!! It's yours and they are being greedy and money grabbing!!!! Absolutely ridiculous. It's nothing to do with them.

It's like saying one of you have a good job and should share the wages!! im fuming for you.

Your family is bonkers. Of course don’t share. You are a single parent with debts and your GM left the money to YOU and your DC. The rest is not your problem. Just say you have spent it and paid your debts.

Yes, do either of those things.

I can't think of a single reason why you should share your inheritance. Enjoy it, and you don't have to tell them anything, it's your business.

My sister would be that same. She'd want half as it "isn't fair". I wouldn't give a flying fuck if she inherited and I didn't.

OP keep it all but I would pay the debts off and start from scratch.

The fact your Mum is looking up wills tells you something I think....

I think all their motives here are disingenuous. This isn't about fair play - your parents have nothing to pass on and so are adopting your inheritance as something to pass on to their kids.

Your sibling is jealous you got something and she didn't. I think anyone might twinge at one sibling receiving an inheritance and not another, but that's life and that was your Godmother's choice.

If your parents were so worried about equality they should have given you the same Godparents. Did they check in you had equal relationships with them in life, or are they only interested now money is involved?

As previously said, you absolutely can't give away your child's inheritance anyway, it's not your money to do that so that's off the table. And your inheritance is your own, how rude of your family to try to take some of it off you, especially as a single parent. Should they not go to your sister and ask her husband to share his wages with you, that's equality no?

Pay off your debts and put a bit away for a nice treat with your DC.

Absolutely not, that's not the way inheritance works. Who is to even say if she was your siblings godparents they'd of had the same relationship as you did with her and she'd have been left anything. I'm sorry your parents are being so unreasonable about this, it's unfair.

If your Godmother wanted to leave money to your sister, she would have. It's not like a parent died, it's a women who was basically your friend who your sister doesn't have any real connections with.

I thought the whole point of godparents was to take care of the spiritual and otherwise wellbeing of their godchildren? That's what your godparent did OP, you should respect their wishes.

Nobody else has a right to tell you what to do with your money. If your family don't drop this nonsense maybe tell them you want a full financial disclosure from everybody and then you can all distribute all funds across you all completely fairly (including savings, investments and pensions) and see what they say? That would make it all "fair" right?

If a friend gives you a nice present are you meant to share it with an adult sibling? This was a gift from someone totally unrelated to your sibling I can't imagine any scenario where they would be entitled to share in it. Would they even think about sharing any gifts they get or have got in the past with you?

Just say it’s been spent.

If you earn more than your sibling are you supposed to top their income up? Your parents are nuts.

Absolutely not. I'd lie. Re debts, I hope you earn more in interest than you're paying?

"I do not have any money to share, I used it to pay off debts. Maybe [sibling] will also get something when their godparents die."

Also if you want to redirect your mother's ire:
"Didn't Dsib Godp die? Maybe you could check their will?"

Get her angry with that family to make sure your sibling will get absolutely nothing 😈

I think it would likely be illegal for you to give away part of your child's inheritance to other people.

Not illegal for you to give away your own inherited money but I agree with the person above who suggested that you being a single mom is a factor here, as your sister's husband likely would make a stink if you or your parents asked your sister to give away half of an inheritance to you. Somehow they see you as having a moral obligation to your sister to "make her whole" from her lack of inheritance, but they don't see your sister as having an obligation to make YOU whole from not having a partner who contributes to the upkeep of his daughter. Obviously your sister didn't CAUSE you to not have a contributing partner, but by the same token, neither did YOU cause her to not get an inheritance. Your parents' moral reasoning is biased against you and you can't trust it.

I wouldn't share the money in this situation. You have an obligation to your child, to get out of debt if you can, so I would use the money for that.

No way. My sibling has no contact with the extended family or our Godparents. I did have contact with our Godparents and do have contact with the family. Respect your Godmother’s wishes and say no.

No stand your ground - say you have paid off some debts and you can’t touch DC money. I don’t know how much we are talking but if it is a small amount then you would just be watering it down for everybody and it’s usefulness.

I would be a bit annoyed that she looked up the will to be honest.

Would you be expecting expected to share a workplace bonus? Or a scratch card win? Ridiculous! Tell them that it’s been put aside for your DC and you're not discussing it again.

No way, it's your inheritance from someone who had nothing to do with your sister.
Clear your debts, have a holiday and tell your mum to fuck off, nosey bint.

Clear your debts, then its spent and its a non issue. Don't spend it on a holiday.

As usual, the 1st post nails it. Your GM wanted it to go to you. Please respect her wishes.

It would actually be a bit disrespectful towards your Godmother if you were to give some of HER money away! If she'd have wanted your sibling to have some she would have gifted her some.

Go on the holiday. 20 years ago me and my toddler did the same, we still talk about ....

You'll have to respect the deceased wishes and you can tell your DM the executor, your GM's DC, will ask to check the money remained where it was intended, especially since their request would involve your DC having 1/3 of what your siblings children would receive in aggregate.