To not share my inheritance with sibling?

[MoneyFromMyGodmother]

A few years ago, my godmother died and left me some money. Not a huge amount, less than she left her own children but a bit there was also a smaller amount left to my DC (I only have 1) whom GM met multiple times – one of GMs DC is Godparent to my DC. For context until her death I saw GM 2-3 times (both here and where GM lived about 200 miles from me) a year, we video called monthly, and when DC was born GM came to visit us and stayed in a hotel nearby, cooking for us and made DC a toy that they still treasure now.

I have a sibling, who has different godparents to me. To my knowledge sibling has had no contact with their godparents ever. I know at least one of their godparents has also died but they were left nothing.

To me this isn’t my problem, I didn’t expect inheritance from my GM, it was a nice surprise when their DC contacted me and said “Mum left some money for you and (DCs name), can I have the bank details to pay it into?”

My mum, especially, but both parents think it’s unfair and I should split my money between me and sibling and share DCs money with DNs. It would give me half and DC a quarter of what was left to them.

I want to keep it all, but if I do share it, it’ll be mine I share and not DCs (I’ve moved theirs into a 30 day notice access ISA in their name anyway so can’t easily get at it) so I’ll be left with less than 5th of what was left to me.

Like I said it’s not a huge amount, enough for a once in a lifetime holiday, or to clear my debts but not enough to be life changing. Dc received less than me and I will be topping it up before they turn 18 to make it a bit more (once debts are cleared) but it’s still not a huge amount.

If it makes a difference I'm a lone parent (ExH not allowed contact), sibling is married to the other parent of their DC.

AIBU to not share mine and DCs money?

But OP and her DC had a meaningful relationship with OP's God-Mother (and close enough that her G-M bequeathed money to them) - her sibling had no such relationship with OP's G-M. Of course OP shouldn't share her inheritance (and it would be illegal for her to share her own DC's inheritance).

I believe firmly in following out the wishes of the person that left the inheritance.
This includes not viewing any inheritance my DH gets as family money etc.

Your GM left it to you don't be guilt tripped over it by grabby relatives!

I’ve just inherited some money from my GM, no-one in my family thought that money was for anyone but me.

I can see why your parents feel uneasy but there was a really easy solution for them which would have avoided any discussion. Keep their gobs shut. I wouldn’t say it was the norm for GP to leave godchildren money so your brother wouldn’t have assumed you’d get anything. Why didn’t they just shut up and not say anything?

I inherited some money and jewellery from my GM about 8 years ago now. I did not share it with anyone and like @Mirabai no one in my family thought the money was for anyone else (I do have a DB but he has different godparents).

Pay the debt first.

The money you save by not paying interest on the debt will grow quickly. Then you can do whatever you like with your money.

I would tell your Mum that she has caused a completely avoidable situation by looking at the will and the sharing what she found out. Tell her that she needs to deal with any fall out as a result. Tell her that you will be respecting your GM wishes and using the money yourself and your DC's will stay in trust until s/ he is old enough to decide what to do. Tell her that is the end of the discussion.

Oh, pay off your debts, OP. A debt free life is a wonderful legacy and it you'll enjoy the holiday you have saved for.

It seems OP didn't tell her family - her mother found out by looking up the Will at the Probate Registry online. Nice. Not.

Your Mum is just feeling bad that she chose different people to be godparents to her children and now there’s a discrepancy. This situation has come from your parent choices, so if they want to rectify it, then they can do so with their own money, not yours and your children’s.

Absolutely not and to be honest, I'd re-think how much you share with or trust your parents and sister after this pushy and unfair intrusion. It makes me wonder if there's a golden child/scapegoat situation going on here. Do you think they'd say the same the other way, if your sister had gotten the inheritance?

If you had decided to share it on your own, say if your sister was in need and you felt so moved, that would be completely different.

But from what you've said, I think it's weird that your family is pushing for this.
Don't let them push you around. Giving into that kind of crap only brings on more of it.

At the very least, I'd tell them it's not up for any more discussion, then hang up on them or leave if they try to disregard you on that, too.

Enjoy your inheritance. You've earned it!

I'd probably tell them that their behaviour is disgustingly grabby and disrespectful to your godparents wishes and then cut them off for a bit.

I'd also spend the money on the holiday or debts so it's not even a question any more.

My financial head says clear the debt. My rebellious "fuck you" streak is inclined to book the holiday and, assuming you have a good relationship with your godmothers children and they don't begrudge you the money, I'd put a photo and a thank you tribute to Godmother on Facebook just to really torch the existing relationship with your parents to the ground. If they want to rebuild without being controlling pricks, fine, but you.and your godmother aren't there to look after your brother because they can't (which is 100% what this is all about)

Your God mother has left it to you, how would she feel to find her hard earned money has been given to someone she barely knows, if at all.
They are being grabby about an inheritance that is none of their buisness.

I wonder if the few posters saying to share are reading it as grandmother not god mother? I’d maybe be more inclined to say share if it’s a family Will, but your brother is literally nothing to do with your godmother.

Why on earth would she want to spend it taking these people for dinner? They don’t exactly have her best interests at heart.

Your Godmother left you and your child that money because she wanted too. If she'd intended for any of her money to be given to your sibling, she would have left clear instructions in her will.
The fact that you have inherited some money has absolutely nothing to do with your parents or your sibling. It's scary how quickly people think they're entitled to someone else's money.
Life can be unfair and not everyone is fortunate enough to benefit in every circumstance. This is one of those occasions.
Do not hand over any unless you absolutely want to, and definitely do not part with a penny if pressure/guilt is still being applied.

Nope. Your parents picked your godparents and if they’re feeling guilty because your sibling has no inheritance as a result, that’s on them, not you. Don’t let them gaslight you into giving it away.

If it happened a few years ago, can’t you just tell your mum that the money is gone?

She didn’t tell them because she didn’t need to - it’s none of their business. And clearly, if this is their response, she was right not to say anything.

Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope! Do not share that money.

Absolutely not. You legally can't share your daughter's money, and you shouldn't share your own.

It says volumes about them that not only are they expecting you to share, they're proposing a split that means your sister's family receives more of the inheritance than you, the person who is actually entitled to it. In what world could that possibly be fair? Plus as a single parent, you need it much more than she does. Tell them to take a hike.

In terms of using it, I would be on the side of paying off debt and then saving for the holiday, you'll feel so much better without the debt hanging over you.

First of all I don't think you can share your daughters. It was left to her, you can't decide to take away 75% of it. I think she could even take you to court for it. She would need to decide to share it at 18. That should remove that issue.

As for yours - depends how attached you are to your relationship with her. Personally I'd tell her to fuck off. I get it's not always that easy. Would be best if she hadn't found out about it but she looked it up so that ship sailed. She may have been able to see the will, but I presume has no access to your bank accounts. Can you not just tell her you paid off the debts straight away with it and it's long gone. You don't have it to share. You didn't tell her straight away because you were embarrassed about the debts but oh its just so hard being a lone parent on one income.

Then decide what you actually want to do. I personally would pay off debt with at least some of it. Look at how much the debt is and interest. If your debt was £10K, you're paying off £200 a month but lots of interest is added on then I'd pay off the £10K debt and save the £200 a month towards holiday because it will save you a fortune in interest. If it's low interest you could look at paying off half the debts to reduce the interest and then use the other half for a smaller holiday or a cash pot to save into for a larger holiday down the line.

Read all of OP's posts. She didn't tell her DM - her DM looked up the God-Mother's Will on the Probate Registry online.

Unless my siblings were in the habit of sharing their good fortunes with me, or they were in some kind of dire need, then I wouldn’t be sharing my own share. This is a gift from your Godmother purely to you and to your DC. Unfortunately, your family will probably not less this go, however, you can perfectly legitimately ignore them as you aren’t doing anything wrong.

This happened a few years ago and they are still asking for the money?

Tell them the dc money cannot legally be shared even if they wanted it to be, and yours has been spent on clearing some debt (which is none of their business what) and don't discuss with them again.

Nothing to do with your family. Tell them to butt out and mind their own business!