Dh drank a whole bottle of whiskey

[howyoufeeling]

Seriously a whole bottle of Jameson.
Now dh is a good bloke, works his ass off in his own company, hands on dad, looks after us the best he can. He's got SADS, does every winter. He's upped his sertraline as recommended so waiting for that to take effect.
I took the little ones to bed last night and slept all night with them, he drank a whole bottle of whiskey. He didn't cause any trouble or anything you might expect from someone drinking that amount, wasn't sick or anything but couldn't get into bed as his head was spinning so slept downstairs. I've come down this morning and the whole bottle is gone.
Aibu or will this not fuck his liver ?! He's currently in bed dying, has work in a bit. Can't help but feel a little smug and so fucking grateful I don't feel how he does !!

I agree with the poster OP.

You have a very flippant attitude about your husbands drinking.

Mentioning his work, his working week, works hard, that he is 6 feet plus etc. as it that offsets it somehow, is minimising the problem.

When he turns down a drink because he doesn't feel like it, might be because his liver is telling him something.

This is not your problem to solve though. It's his.

Have you had 'the talk' with him? The one where you ask him what would bring him out of it (if anything). Moving house? Emigrating? Getting a new car? Building an extension? Downsizing? Often there is a change that will make enough of a difference to someone mildly to moderately depressed, that if they can follow it through, will help them to come out of the depression.

I've just reread your post and it still reads as:

How odd to comment on whether this is affordable.
My family had the odd bottle of wine and got judged for it .

If it wasn't a response to OP then fair enough.
if it was a response to me could you explain a little better what you meant please

No wonder he’s depressed if he’s putting away 30 units of alcohol every weekend. It’s a very powerful depressant.

OP your DH has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, there’s no doubt about it. You can’t see it because your bar is set very high because of the hard core alcoholics in your family. Your husband really needs to look at his drinking behaviour because he will be damaging his health with his drinking pattern, as well as making his depression worse.

@PoltergeistsStartLowKey I mentioned his stature only because it was asked earlier on In the thread. Also note my update, I have agreed his is binge drinking.

LOL,Yes send it to
[email protected]

I agree about my bar being high.

A fridge for drinks and drugs. How very upper class.

Those whiskey shits are gonna be dire for him later 😂

You posted here for a reason OP, and it wasn't because you were 100% comfortable with this situation.

I was you 4 years ago - swearing down (and believing / deluding myself) that my OH didn't drink in secret, didn't drink in the day, just overdid it at times due to poor mental health. Wrong, wrong, wrong on so, sooo many accounts, to such a degree I would never have believed it had I not been slapped hard in the face with cold-hard reality at certain key points along the way.

The fact that he wasn't presenting as drunk a lot of the time was definitely not an indication that he wasn't drinking - just that his tolerance had got so high he could "pass" despite having drunk enough to have me visibily shit-faced.

I don't know if it will be helpful to you, but sharing my journey on here as well - it was hard but supportive messages from Mumsnetters that helped open my eyes to the reality of the situation.

Link here

OP if nothing else, his sertraline won’t be working as well as it could, if he’s counteracting it with the depressant effects of alcohol. Alcohol affects the neurotransmitters in the brain, as does sertraline, but in opposite ways. I know alcohol gives a transient relaxed happy feeling, but really it’s the worst drug to take if you’re depressed.

I couldn’t accept my (now) ex had a drink problem becsuse he had a very high powered, very well paid job. He only ever drank wine and he didn't pour it over his cornflakes. It took me several years to say out loud to myself that he was an alcoholic (and left him). Roll on a couple more years and he was in hospital at the last chance saloon. It was then he turned things around. He has now been sober for twentyish years. It started with a glass of wine at dinner and escalated into full blown alcoholism. Maybe this won’t be your dh (🙏🏼) but I urge you to stay vigilant and never kid yourself (like I did).

OP look at it this way. A bottle of whisky is 700ml. A single measure is 25ml. Therefore there are 28 single measures of whisky in a bottle.

Your husband drunk a full bottle last night. If you were in a bar you would have to go up to the bar 28 times to drink that much. Or 14 if you were on doubles.

On a "normal" weekend he drinks this over two nights. So he is drinking 14 whiskies a night at weekends.

And he's on anti-depressants.

How you are minimising this I do not know.

OP, why did you post if you are so sure your husband hasn't got a drink problem and isn't damaging his health? All's hunky dory then, isn't it?

It's weird the way you assume everyone drinks, at least at the weekend. Most people I know rarely drink, especially now with the cost of living.

This suggests your view of alcohol is skewed too. I think most peple would find a bottle if whiskey every weekend was worrying.

lol
its what my son referred to it as
we moved into a victorian house which went back back back with a sort of room
housing the boiler, bikes etc leading into the garden - my mum gave us their small fridge/freezer where we kept ice and lollies,
cold drinks in the fridge, a great overflow at Christmas and Easter - drugs for humans and animals, cats dogs, rabbits, drink and drugs.

I have no idea what sort of refrigeration arrangements anyone upper class would have.

I once drank a bottle of gin at home on my own when I was suicidal. I played it down to my partner and carried on as usual the next day as I didn't want help, I wanted to die. Hopefully your husband isn't in the same place I was.

Does he get any counselling/therapy? If not I would urge him to, and talk to his GP about his current medication, and make sure they are aware how much he drinks.

I agree with this. I grew up in a non alcohol family and drink about four pints of beer a year but my bestie and witness at my wedding is an alcoholic and my step brother probably was at the time of my wedding too.

The pair of them drank each other pint for pint and at the point I joined in their conversation they had both had 21 pints of Stella. Their conversation was free flowing and pretty normal for midway through a hot summer night party and I was staggered when they told me what their pint for pint total was.

This had to be down to the fact that their bodies were so used to the drink, they were barely impacted by it.

My bestie eventually had to stop. Her liver protruded out so far she decided to go for a blood test and the entire sheet was red.

She put the same effort into giving up as she did into drinking and managed it inside a year. She took up gaming instead. I'm glad because I love her like a sister but boy could she put away drink. My step bro wasn't so lucky.

rehydration sachets. borrocca. milk thistle. sleep.

Our kids are only young still and won't go to sleep on their own (without me) I'm looking at hopefully sorting this out soon so me and dh get our evenings back.

To reclaim your evenings, maybe try giving the kids a tot or two of whiskey.

(I would hope it is obvious that this is not meant as a serious suggestion, but it’s not possible to be sure, given some of the puritanical overreaction on this thread.)

The OPs husband is a seasoned weekend drinker, which is why he was able to put away a bottle with no major problems. Not ideal, but not exactly a crisis either as a one-off.

I really feel for you OP, you must feel under attack but I don't think you are (generally - arseholes not withstanding). You're essentially having the same conversation with many different ppl at once & they are pretty much all saying the same thing, and that's a lot.

Have a good chat with your DH about the drinking on sertraline, it's a perfectly valid angle to come from & nothing to do with judging his behaviour at all. He obvs knows he needs the sertraline & he's undoing the good work it's able to do.

I have just read your link and I could have pretty much written it myself (except to add two young children in the mix). People talk about the cheating script but there is also a secret drinker's script. Best thing I did was leave and like you it took me years to tell anyone he had a problem (4 years and then I confided in my best friend but it would be another two before telling family and leaving). I may have missed it but do you know how he is today? My ex hasn't drank for circa 20 years now and thankfully has a decent relationship with our kids (now grown).

The alcohol / SAD is going to create a vicious circle. If he is having a drink at the weekend (not getting into the ins and outs of people arguing how much is too much) but the alcohol is a depressant and he is already depressed. Self medicating with alcohol and he will just go round in circles. MIND do suggest no alcohol for that reason.

What if any treatment other than the anti depressants has he tried? I would try and throw everything at it that might help.

Why is he upping his medication for SADS in February rather than having done it in October?

Why are you being so defensive?

I drink a couple of glasses of wine in a month, if that, but what does what anyone else drink have to do with your DH drinking a bottle of whiskey a week (and it having escalated to one bottle in a night)?

Remove all alcohol from the house for starters!

Hope he will be ok as it sounds like it was a one off.

I don’t think working 7 days a week a very healthy.