Dh drank a whole bottle of whiskey

[howyoufeeling]

Seriously a whole bottle of Jameson.
Now dh is a good bloke, works his ass off in his own company, hands on dad, looks after us the best he can. He's got SADS, does every winter. He's upped his sertraline as recommended so waiting for that to take effect.
I took the little ones to bed last night and slept all night with them, he drank a whole bottle of whiskey. He didn't cause any trouble or anything you might expect from someone drinking that amount, wasn't sick or anything but couldn't get into bed as his head was spinning so slept downstairs. I've come down this morning and the whole bottle is gone.
Aibu or will this not fuck his liver ?! He's currently in bed dying, has work in a bit. Can't help but feel a little smug and so fucking grateful I don't feel how he does !!

I’m so pleased to hear he is aware that it’s not a good thing to do, especially with young children in the house. You sound concerned and loving, OP and I can imagine how stressed you are.
If you can get him to open up and talk about the pressures he is feeling and what is bothering him, I’m sure you will find a way through this.
With your family history you will know how easily heavy drinking becomes problematic drinking and problematic drinking becomes addiction. As other apps have said, it’s not a linear path and some people are gripped more tightly than others but this is not safe drinking and it’s not safe with the such young kids around. I know you know all this.
You sound a really caring person and a great partner. He sounds as if he has given himself a wake up call. Once you’ve got to the nub of the issue. (I agree SADs is a bit of a catchall and there is probably something more specific worrying him) I’d push him to set agreed guidelines for his drinking. If he gets back into exercise that will help too. Some of the drink aware apps can be really useful too. Let’s him see how many days he goes without drinking and how much he is spending/ saving on booze. Most important thing is to use this opening to really talk about it. Don’t let him brush it off or be evasive. Good luck.

@howyoufeeling

I was making a suggestion about a holiday in the sun, because it's general 'advice' for SAD and of course comes with the caveat if you can afford it.
Surely that bit doesn't need spelling out?

You ignored the idea of using a light box which is pretty standard advice for SAD.

You're very quick to take offence, if I may say so. Quite unnecessary.

Your DH sounds as if he needs more help than ADs and booze. He's overweight, depressed, stressed with his job and for a lot of this thread you come over as minimising his drinking as 'normal'.

I hope he gets the medical support he clearly needs.

You've said your DH usually drinks half a bottle on a Friday night (assuming 350ml) and the same Saturday. Op seriously one whole bottle of whiskey a week is a lot!!! When you consider in a pub a measure of whisky is 25ml... It would be like him ordering 14 drinks each night This is serious binge drinking. This will not be helpful for his mental health. He probably spends all week recovering from this!

You've mentioned people drinking a glass of wine at weekend but this doesn't really compare does it.

@howyoufeeling he may not be drinking during work time but he most certainly turned up to work the other day too drunk to be able to drive. And if he was working at weekends when he was drinking his half bottle of whiskey he would probably have been over the limit if working the next morning. Hope he never drove

The average person will drink maybe 4-5 drinks, probably stop by midnight, so by the time they wake up at 7/8am it will be out of their system.

Op does dh know about the risks of drinking whilst on ad's? It can cause you to stop breathing if you drink a lot. Obviously his mental health is a concern, but I'd also be worried about liver damage.

Sorry to see you've had some nasty comments, you don't deserve them

Crikey, that’s a worry.

if it’s a one off, once he is fully sober I think a Frank and non smug conversation is in order. Dangerous for him and should he have drunkenly fallen over etc.

I have heard of someone I know in grief drinking a bottle a night for a couple of nights, hasn’t done since.

that amount for someone not attuned to it could have been seriously dangerous.

wish you all the best.

That must have been truly devastating as her daughter, to watch her do that to herself.

It is a wicked illness x

Has the doctor advised to up his vitamin D? Or just start taking some. He can also get a sad light VAT free which will help with SAD. It’s all well and good treating his anxiety but SAD is directly linked to having lower exposure of sunlight in the winter so less vitamin D.

I know exactly where you’re coming from with the Bailey’s. Once, years ago, I drank a whole bottle of the stuff at a rugby club party. I spent an hour talking to a life sized cardboard cut out of Bill Beaumont because I thought he was a ‘guest of honour’ and then went around telling anyone who’d listen that he was going to leave his wife for me. I ended up throwing up in the changing room showers and having to be carried home by four members of the women’s team. To this day if I see anyone from that night they still shout ‘hello Mrs Beaumont how’s Bill?’. I’ve never touched a Bailey’s since.

i’ve finished a bottle of whiskey a few times by mistake. Worst hangover in history! He won’t do it again for at least a couple of years!

Of cost YABU! FFS! He's an adult; it's a one of he'll be fine

Hi OP, I've seen some of the updates and I hope DH is ok.
Def addressing to healthy habits and exercise will be a much better coping mechanism and help him bust his serotonin.
I've seen you have alcoholics in your family, but what you describe, it looks like everyday drinking.
I'm unsure if you're aware of the many types of alcoholism there is... Coping alcoholism is one of them and they are "functional alcoholics" usually middle aged and tend to use alcohol to escape life worries and depression.
When he feels up to it, AA might be something he might find comfort in, and might help him with his mental health as well.
All the best to you and DH x

Ooh boy! I wouldn't want to be him either! He will have the mother and father of all hangovers. Agree with others, plenty of water and no paracetamol (his liver has enough to do). Maybe sweet tea as his system will be in shock. Great believer in listening to your body as it will tell you what you need - he may have some sort of odd food craving - just let him go with it, it will help.

If he continues to drink like this yes it will hurt his health. If he's drinking like this because of his mental state he needs to speak to his doctor about this so they can look at changing his medication or doing something additional for him. Drinking that much isn't normal.

There are bacteria and viruses in the human mouth just like there are in animals. If they broke the skin that could get infected and if you had to take the child to the Docs they would be asking alot of questions. Where I live they would refer you to child services for abuse.

You need to stick up for your child. People get respect when they act respectful their age has nothing to do with anything. They violated your child.

I struggle wit SAD too, a few things have helped me that I thought I’d suggest if he hasn’t already tried them. One is taking a high dose vitamin D supplement and the other is spending time outside every day regardless of the weather- providing it’s daylight he’ll still be getting some benefit from the sun. SAD is exacerbated because people stay indoors during the winter months but it doesn’t have to be bright sunlight to counteract SAD.

Is this one meant for the relative bites the arm thread?

No sorry it was not - how weird. Thanks for flagging that.

Disagree completely. Some people can be judgy about drink, others choose to find a definition of alcoholic that doesn’t apply to them but bottom line is - if you’re in control and it’s not defining or messing up your life - you probably don’t have a problem. And a couple of glasses of wine a day is a long way from defining a problem drinker!

Keep telling yourself that.

So 25ml of whiskey is a glass of whiskey so 350ml is 14 glasses of whiskey - so he's having 14 whiskeys twice a week and you're comparing that to people having a couple of glasses of wine OP?

I think your understanding of alcoholic and alcohol problem are really off because of your experiences with your family OP. The fact he can drink a whole bottle of whiskey and 'have the tolerance' to do so is really worrying. Have you seen someone die from cirrhosis of the liver? I have and it is horrible.

Hi all just coming back to update, dh hasn't drank since the whole bottle disaster. He hasn't thought about drinking, it's well and truly put him off.

So 25ml of whiskey is a glass of whiskey

No, 25ml is a shot. A small UK one.