Dh drank a whole bottle of whiskey

[howyoufeeling]

Seriously a whole bottle of Jameson.
Now dh is a good bloke, works his ass off in his own company, hands on dad, looks after us the best he can. He's got SADS, does every winter. He's upped his sertraline as recommended so waiting for that to take effect.
I took the little ones to bed last night and slept all night with them, he drank a whole bottle of whiskey. He didn't cause any trouble or anything you might expect from someone drinking that amount, wasn't sick or anything but couldn't get into bed as his head was spinning so slept downstairs. I've come down this morning and the whole bottle is gone.
Aibu or will this not fuck his liver ?! He's currently in bed dying, has work in a bit. Can't help but feel a little smug and so fucking grateful I don't feel how he does !!

TAX on alcohol is huge.

I would be extremely worried about that. It is very dangerous and will stay in his system a long time. As PP says I hope he doesn't plan to drive for the next few days

That's like 30 units, the MAXIMUM recommended for a woman is 11 per week.

Rich people have too much invested in alcohol.

Given the synthetic opioid crisis in the US, and previous experiments with prohibition, this is an incredibly naive question, particularly from someone who is busy in their posts trying to normalise levels of drinking which the government and NHS signpost as extremely hazardous. People just want to believe whatever narrative suits them, they won’t and don’t apply common sense, and don’t listen to advice that makes them feel bad - then they blame others for letting them behave like this in the first place.

@DressOrSkirt - it's 14 units I believe. Still than 2-3 bottles of wine a week of course.

A whole bottle over a weekend does seem a lot and I think it will take him over the suggested weekly alcohol limit.
I know you said he isn't an alcoholic but if he drinks a bottle of whiskey every weekend and if he drinks to cheer himself up I think he is becoming alcoholic dependent.
What happens if one weekend he doesn't drink? Is he able to stop .

They will tell you it will fuck his liver, but don't worry, it won't. Sadly my granddad drank like that and lived till his nineties. My gran however died a long time before him, worn out by worry for him and having to look after him, literally as well - unlike your husband, he would go missing for days, only going to work. Ironically, she worried about 'his liver' and his health in general. Worry about your liver and your health and that of your dc. Don't worry about him - alkies don't worry about anyone else, I am afraid.

This.

I don’t know why you are so worried about one bottle in a night when he normally drinks half a bottle every Friday and the same again on Saturday. and you seem to think that’s fine.

So good luck to you both, no one can make either of you seek help if you don’t think you need it.

He doesn't drink that amount every weekend btw, only if he gets a little carried away. Usually one bottle, but more recently two, so I know it is mental health to blame.

I've had a Google... I'm in Ireland and it's 11 per week for women here but 14 is the advice in the UK

You have almost answered your own question. The tax raised on alcohol and all the businesses around its production and sale are too valuable. Also, it can be consumed safely, in moderation (unlike some drugs which are potentially harmful even in small doses).

I do think your DH's usual drinking sounds excessive. He must be unsafe to drive at weekends? Hopefully last night has given him a fright too and he can find a method to treat his depression which doesn't add to it. Coming into spring will help and maybe by next winter he'll be able to cope better.

Because most people aren’t alcoholic. You could apply the same reasoning to products that are high in sugar - why not ban sweets and chocolate for example? Life can be a hard slog sometimes and people need to have the freedom to make their own choices and deal with the consequences if they can’t self regulate.

Yet you still seem to not realise that he’s an alcoholic?
😳

Drugs shouldn't be illegal either tbh. Well some of them. Heroin can stay illegal.

Anyway there are some amount of pearl clutchers on this thread.

Yeah, but guidelines aren’t one size fits all. Some people can handle more without any issues, and others can be affected by even less.

It’s not normal to drink 2-3 bottles of wine a week. Loads of people do it but it is a drink problem.

That part is a bit different.

By the time I left I had fallen out of love with him, I despised him. I felt he’d ruined my life and the potential lives of our children (they were still very young thankfully). What I felt so angry about was he deceived me right from the beginning. When we first got together he didn’t drink at all, he was in to fitness etc he said. I was really pleased because I’d recently split from a long term bf because he liked to party too much. Then one day out of blue he asked for a sip of my wine at dinner. I thought nothing of it and said of course. Over a period of time that sip turned into his own glass (again I thought nothing of it) but over a further period of time that glass turned into a bottle and the rest, as they say, is history. What I didn't know was he had a historical serious problem with drinking. He never told me at the beginning and that's what I couldn't forgive, that he had deliberately left me in ignorance. He deceived me and I was in too deep by the time it exploded (two children by then).

We get on ok now as its been a lot of years in between, we have our own lives and he hasn’t drank for two decades but the whole horrible nightmare took a long time for me to get over (had therapy).

I don’t want OP to wake up one day and find herself in the same nightmare. 🙏🏼

@Zippedydodah I have said yes he is a binge drinker. So he does clearly have some alcohol usage disorder. He is nothing like the alcoholics in my life. There is a big difference between them.

The only difference is where they are on the spectrum. A little bit of cancer is still cancer.

You are fine and that is great but that is not always the case for everyone that drinks so much in one go. Someone i know went next door to celebrate the birth of his Son, he was at the NYE party for half an hour, he died on his own doorstep of alcoholic poisoning.

@howyoufeeling you keep changing the story. At the beginning this seemed to be a one off, then he drinks a bottle a weekend, and now sometimes 2 bottles a weekend. he has a problem

Two bottles at the weekend. From a former alcoholic, your husband has a huge problem therefore you and your children have a huge problem. I got up and went to work, ran my home and looked after my children, never fell about drunk, never had booze for breakfast, never drank until after dinner but i was an alcoholic. You both need to face up to this. Get in touch with AL-ANON family support.

But binge drinking can kill. I feel really dismayed that people don't seem to take this on board because I knew someone it happened to. Yes, if you're acclimatized, its somewhat less likely, but drinking an entire bottle of whiskey (depending on the size) could very well be an actual dice roll. The person I knew who died would not have been described as an alcoholic, more of a young man doing something relatively almost-normalized among young men. He suffocated in his sleep.

Just keep vigilant OP. You can’t afford to take your eye off the ball or you will end up living through what I and @Stickywhitelovepiss went through and I don’t wish that on you and your children.

You need to remove all alcohol (don’t tell him) and see what his reaction to not having access to it is.

If you feel in your gut you are minimising or kidding yourself over his relationship with alcohol listen to your gut.

It’s not just about the actual drinking that you are aware of, it’s also about his demeanour and attitude to there being no alcohol at hand.