Dh drank a whole bottle of whiskey

[howyoufeeling]

Seriously a whole bottle of Jameson.
Now dh is a good bloke, works his ass off in his own company, hands on dad, looks after us the best he can. He's got SADS, does every winter. He's upped his sertraline as recommended so waiting for that to take effect.
I took the little ones to bed last night and slept all night with them, he drank a whole bottle of whiskey. He didn't cause any trouble or anything you might expect from someone drinking that amount, wasn't sick or anything but couldn't get into bed as his head was spinning so slept downstairs. I've come down this morning and the whole bottle is gone.
Aibu or will this not fuck his liver ?! He's currently in bed dying, has work in a bit. Can't help but feel a little smug and so fucking grateful I don't feel how he does !!

Sorry to derail.. But 3 wine boxes and a bottle of gin A NIGHT?? That's what 9 bottles of wine then a bottle of gin. Oh my god that's totally and utterly insane! Hope you are ok after living through a parent doing that.

Perhaps some of them have experienced living with alcoholism one way or another.

@Blushingm - ignore my comment above. I have not RTFT and can see you have posted updates about your mum and her alcohol consumption. I am very sorry.

I mean, what size of bottle are we talking here?

Its not about whether you feel affected, it will be affecting your body whether you feel it not. Hence yes, it is a one size fits all.

So sorry to quote all of this - I can't work out how to only quote selected bits on the app....

On reflection, I do strongly feel that most posters have gone down the rabbit hole of focusing on the alcohol - and it's a divisive issue! A lot of people are secretly worried about their own drinking and so get very defensive about what constitutes a normal amount; others have had negative experience of alcoholics, and therefore feel it's ok to generalise quite offensively ("alcoholics never change"; "alcoholics are selfish" etc etc).

The real issue here is your husband's depression, and it doesn't sound like the medication he is on is touching the sides. (Is he a big bloke? I ask because my cousin, an HCP, mentioned to me recently that the AD dosage needs to be calibrated to patient size but often isn't, and this may be the reason it can be less effective in men. I don't know what article he found this in or if it was his own observation, so I can't back it up, but it's something I intend to look into when i have time - may be worth asking his GP about ? Or other posters may know if there is any truth in this).

But I think the best thing is for you and your husband to sit down together and make a list of the things that would make your lives easier and happier. Look at what you are both spending most of your time on at the moment, and then how you would like the balance to look. You need to take into account:

• work

-childcare -household chores -house maintenance -exercise -sleep -leisure/hobbies -relaxation/TV

• couples time/cuddles/sex

And anything else that is important to you both!

The real positive you have here is that you clearly love him very much (that's where the defensiveness comes from, and honestly, it's a good thing, a strength, as long as it doesn't blind you to any faults he may have too much). You very clearly admire what he does for you and your family. If he has the sane love for you, that is SUCH a strength as a couple.

And from the sound of it, he has already suggested spending more time on running - that is a really excellent plan!

Be proactive. Keep talking. If there are things that aren't working in our lives and in our relationships, almost always we can change them.

You may wish to speak to him about taking a break from alcohol, at least for the time being. I would always advocate sobriety personally, as I said in my last post, just because it leaves more money and time for all the other good things life can offer!

But the important thing is to address the reasons behind his stress and depression, so you get your lovely husband back. He should not have to feel like this every winter!

Good luck.

That's why the guideline is 0-14

@howyoufeeling 1 700ml bottle of Jameson Whiskey us 28 units of alcohol. That's double the weekly recommended amount for an adult male.

@howyoufeeling Here are the guidelines

So it has gone up from 1 bottle at the weekend, to 2 bottles - I’m guessing 1 on Friday and 1 on Saturday. And now 1 midweek.

You say this is a stupid one-off but it sounds like it is an escalation of an already developed pattern.

Does he drive the morning following? There is a very strong chance he is over the limit. Plus possibly using machinery at work (going by the use of the word lad earlier). It roughly takes the body 1hr to process 1unit of alcohol. You do the maths with a bottle containing 28 units. Are you happy him driving you and your kids the morning after?

@BunnyLake same when we sorted my mums house - empty bottles where you'd never think you'd find them

Because it generates lots of money through taxes - and it's something we have done for centuries, traditions are hard to overcome. Even in the bible there was wine

When my ex left the property, I did a big packing up of all his stuff. Empties under the mattress; empties in the airing cupboard; empties in the rafters of the garage, miniatures in every nook and cranny, etc. I am sure there are probably still more about the place that I've just not come across yet! In some ways, it was actually quite welcome in validating my decision to leave him after the fact.

Hang on, so it’s actually two bottles at the weekend? and now he’s had a whole bottle last night? So this week he’s already had 84 units of alcohol (that you know about).

When did I say it's two bottles at the weekend ??

Oh I see now, no idea why I put that ! It's never been two just the one. Two would be taking the piss !

Freudian slip?

@Stickywhitelovepiss mental error I suspect. Busy looking after babies which is tough enough without being attacked on a forum !

I suspect that if alcohol was coming anew to the market now, going through all the processes to clear it for sale, it probably wouldn’t be.

But it has been around since time immemorial, deep in our culture, and now marketed and promoted by the global giants of capitalism, no chance of banning it now.

Are you actually sure he definitely drank the full bottle? I'm only asking because I would have assumed it wouldn't be possible for one person to drink a whole bottle in one night without passing out or at least vomiting a lot before getting near the end. I don't think it's comparable to what other posters have been saying about drinking 2 bottles of wine or a bottle of Baileys - these drinks are far lower in alcohol content than whiskey.

If he definitely did, and it was a full sized bottle of whiskey, I think he definitely should get it checked out.

OP, it’s really heartening to see a post where an OP with a problem in a post proud of her DH, who works hard, puts his family first, etc.

It’s really easy to let your perspective slip around alcohol. DH and I used to share a bottle of wine every night during the ‘stuck st home’ early years of childbearing.

Which we adjusted when I realised what a huge proportion of our weekly grocery shop was bottles of red.

Then, still having a glass a night I did the Drinkaware quiz in lockdown… big eye opener.

I still have a glass, sometimes two, 3 or 4 evenings a week. I can completely understand your DH’s drinking looks normal against the alcoholic behaviour of your family… maybe it is.

Maybe do the Drinkaware Quiz together?

The running plan sounds good. Your support for him is strong. You will want the best for him.

I read it and assumed you ment two half bottles.
There are some right bitches on here.

And how does pointing out that the OP’s DH drinks twice the weekly recommended limit, and in the case of this week, four times, make them a bitch exactly?

OP hasn’t done anything wrong. But her DH absolutely is drinking too much.

Alcohol consumption can be a bit like the boiling frog. You start out small and before you know it you’re normalising one or two bottles of hard spirits in a week.

It can happen to the drinker as well as the friends/family.

And we’re assuming that DH is teetotal for the rest of the week which is almost certainly not the case.

But that doesn’t make someone a bitch for pointing it out.

OP has come here concerned not for the fact that drinking a whole bottle of whisky it’s her husband in the drink problem category, but because she thought it might make him ill.

People often minimise spirits because there isn’t the quantity iyswim. Even on here we have people comparing a bottle of whisky to a bottle of wine. Whereas actually one bottle of whisky is the same as five bottles of wine.

Wowsers!! Poor lady.

It also has a lot to do with food, if he was eating a lot alongside the whiskey it's more doable.