Is it really that common to be a grandparent in your late 40s?

[AntiHop]

A few times recently, people have made the incorrect assumption that my 3 year old dd is my grandchild. I'm 47.

This really surprises me, as in my social group, and my family, no one has become a grandparent at that age. Not a single one of my friends had their kids in their 20s. (I have met people who've had kids in their 20s since becoming a parent myself.)

I definitely don't look older than I am. I'm lucky that my skin is doing well. If you lined me up with the friends of my age, you'd guess we are all 47ish. Perhaps people perceive me we older as so many people have cosmetic procedures now, changing the perception of what someone looks like at my age?

I do appreciate that I'm an older mum. Of the friends I grew up with, several of them had babies after my three year old was born.

This is nor meant to be a debate about the rights and wrongs of being an older mum. I'm just curious to know - if you saw a 47 year old with a 3 year old, would you assume that's the grandmother without it crossing your mind that she could be the mother?

When they were younger I got mistaken for my youngest children's grandfather, though I was a few years older than you.

Most people think my wife is a few years younger than she is with our brood in tow

Not now, no. 40 odd years ago I might have, since my own grandmother was around your age when my sister was born, and it was more common to have younger grandparents and less common to have older mothers.

God no! I don’t know anyone who is a grandparent at 40! Most mothers of babies and toddlers are in their 40s where I live.

I made my mum a grandmother at 43, but I was in a postnatal group with people who'd had their babies at or approaching 43, so I don't think either is particularly unusual and certainly neither are wrong.

It wouldn’t occur to me for a second, but in some socio-economic contexts, it would be far more usual to be a 47 year old grandmother than. 47- year old mother. I used to see my midwife at two different clinics. In one area I (just shy of 40 when I gave birth) was pretty average in terms of who was in the waiting room. In the other, much poorer area, I was the same age as the grandmothers accompanying their pregnant daughters.

I really wouldn't know because I'm rubbish at guessing people's ages, likely someone who looks like you could be anywhere between about 35 and 60 plus there's the variation in ages that people become parents/grandparents.

There's several women in my extended family who became grandparents at 39, a couple of others younger than that and a couple more in their early 40s.

There's also a weird generational glitch where DC have uncles that are younger than they are.

I think there's an age where it could go either way and you would be in that category. Becoming a mum at 44 is probably more unusual than being a grandma at 47 around here but it depends what circles you move in. Personally if in doubt I'd guess mum so as not to offend.

I think, broadly speaking, a 47 year old grandmother of a toddler has been, and probably still is, more common than a 47 year old mother of one.

I know lots of people who are grandparents at 40/45 age range, it's really not unusual.

I even know someone who was a great grandparent at 42.

Not very common or uncommon, two of my best friends are young grandparents. My 49 year old friend has a 9 year old DGC and my 56 year old friend has two DGC aged 10 and 8. They both had daughters at a youngish age who then had DC when they were young.

I only know one person that had a baby when she was 40, all the other mum’s I’ve met were younger.

No, probably not but I’m not that good with ages and 47, while young for a grandma, is also quite old for a parent of a 3 year old. As in, I know more people who had kids in their (late 20s) than who had a first child in their mid-40s.
But none of the grown up children in their 20s that I know have had children of their own, in fact most don’t even have a partner!

Do you dress maturely or have a professional tidy, short, hair cut. I think people can present younger or older.

Where I live there are many grandparents around 50. It depends on your demographic.

In my children's school (N London), it would be 50-50 whether you were a parent or grandparent I think. I was 26 when I had my son, my mum was 46 when he was born. Most parents at the school probably fell somewhere between this range when having kids!

My mum became a grandmother at 44 when I had my first at 26. My friend became a grandmother at 40. I don’t think it’s massively uncommon. I don’t think I’ll be a grandmother in my 40s unless my son has a child before age 24.

I wouldn't be sure at 47 as it is an age when you could be mum or gran! I would say Mum to be polite but might think gran.

I work in a nursery I a deprived area and yeah, we have loads of grandparents on their fourties' dropping off and collecting. We've had quite a few in their thirties over the years.

in my family it's not the norm and always makes me feel very old haha

My mum was 48 when she became a grandmother. It's fairly unusual to have a 3 year old at 47, but I think it does clearly by where you live, it certainly an outlier age wise to have a 3 year old child or grandchild at 47 to be honest.

At that age a woman could be an older mother or younger grandmother, I'd say it's still not really common to have a child at 44.
I became a grandmother at 50, my mother was 52, so not that much older than you. My mum, my child and I are all degree educated and have/had professional careers but had children in our mid 20s, that's probably quite young these days but certainly wasn't when my mum and I had children. Nearly all the grandparents I know became grandparents in their 50s, not 40s though.

My mum had me (her first child) at 24 and I had my son at 23 so it would be about right for my family. I'd never assume though and call someone granny instead of mum if I wasn't sure!

Common enough to be unremarkable, I should think.

But in your 40s, if you're with a small child you could feasibly be either parent or grandparent. So people take a punt. Most probably you remember the grandparent ones more than the parent ones, because they're inaccurate.

Well you could be regardless of your friendship circle. Most people, I know had children mid thirties to 40 there is no getting away from the fact that though women obviously have children at 40 plus overall the numbers are smaller.

My nan was 42 when I was born. My mum was 49 when DS was born. If DS has a DC at the same age DH was when DS was born then DH will be 48.

Where I work there are 3 of us aged 44-49. We're all grandparents with a total of 7 GC between us!

I am a little bit older than the OP and have a 36 year old (no DGC yet).