Is it really that common to be a grandparent in your late 40s?

[AntiHop]

A few times recently, people have made the incorrect assumption that my 3 year old dd is my grandchild. I'm 47.

This really surprises me, as in my social group, and my family, no one has become a grandparent at that age. Not a single one of my friends had their kids in their 20s. (I have met people who've had kids in their 20s since becoming a parent myself.)

I definitely don't look older than I am. I'm lucky that my skin is doing well. If you lined me up with the friends of my age, you'd guess we are all 47ish. Perhaps people perceive me we older as so many people have cosmetic procedures now, changing the perception of what someone looks like at my age?

I do appreciate that I'm an older mum. Of the friends I grew up with, several of them had babies after my three year old was born.

This is nor meant to be a debate about the rights and wrongs of being an older mum. I'm just curious to know - if you saw a 47 year old with a 3 year old, would you assume that's the grandmother without it crossing your mind that she could be the mother?

I'm 47 too! And a grandma to a 3 year old. I think both are normal.

People usually assume I'm his mum if they just see the two of us together. Maybe we should just all team up and go on a guess the generation docudrama or something.

Perfectly normal to become a mum in your 40s, perfectly normal to become a mum in your 20s and therefore normal to become a grandparent in your 40s if one of your children does the same. My school mum friends range from my age or a bit younger to mid 60s depending on when they become parents.

Each person was 14 years of age when they gave birth! No lessons learnt in that family then!

I would be shocked to be an IRL grandmother in her late 40s.

my bubble definitely skews older.

My grandma was 42 when I was born. Both her and my mom had their first kid at 21.

People just assume all sorts. We all do it all the time. Up until a couple of years ago (when my pregnancy with DD really did a number on me 😂) people often (genuinely) asked me if I was the nanny to my 2 boys.

When I actually was a nanny, aged 19, people assumed the 6 year old I was looking after was my own child.

See, people just do it all the time, doesn't matter which way.

I dont even ask anymore as i dont know if its nan or mum.

I can't understand how tactless people can be. You could be either mum or gran I would make no assumptions either way and expect it to come out in conversation one way or the other.

I would love to become a grandparent in my late 40s or early 50s.

If you saw a 47 year old with a 3 year old, would you assume that's the grandmother without it crossing your mind that she could be the mother?

I would think that she could be either mum, grandma, auntie, step mum etc. Safest assumption to make would be that she is the mum. I wouldn't presume that she's the grandma or comment about it, as if I was wrong then I'd want the ground to swallow me up.

I know a guy who is 47, he has a 5 year old son and a 6 year old grandson.

I know lots of grandparents in their 40's. I don't know anyone who has had a child past 40.

I'm 42 with an 18 and 20 year old so it's not a completely odd assumption. It's that middle ground where you could potentially be the parent or grand parent.

47 is that ambiguous age where you could be either so I wouldn’t assume either way.

Where I live I am often closer in age to the grandparents of some of my children’s friends than I am to their parents. I was in my mid 30s when I had my children. Some of my friends from school could be grandparents as their children are old enough.

Common in my family - other than me, yes.

I'd absolutely be erring on the side of caution if I saw someone in their late 40s with a young child though as clearly it's still possible to be a mum. So I'd assume mum unless corrected!

When I was 34 I met someone born on the same day as me. She had just become a grandmother. (I had my first child 3 years later.)
I would usually think that you can tell from the interactions between the child and the adult whether it is a parent or someone else, but in this as in so many other aspects of life it does seem better not to assume.

I think anything younger than 60 is a young grandparent! 60 plus feels around normal in our circles

I had 4 DGC at 47.

My mum was 50 when my nephew was born and she became a grandparent for the first time. I’m 57 and none of my immediate friendship group are grandparents yet. DS doesn’t want kids so I doubt I ever will be.

I was 39 when I had my first and 41 with my second and must look pretty shocking because I was certainly mistaken for his GP when he first went to nursery. But tbf we are in an area where first time parents are usually much younger than that. My most recent boss was a grandmother at 30. She had her son at 15 and he had his son at 15. Her mum was a GGP at 48. Our cleaner is a GGM at 50.

So I think it's not that unusual to be a GP at the OPs age. DH was a first time parent just shy of the age of 60 and of course it was assumed he was a GP

I live next door to a RC primary with the village primary 5 minutes walk on the other side. Most mums and dads collecting look in their 30s. At 47 my oldest was 19, I wasn’t a young mum either.

I am however now a grandma at 58, so I think 47 is a young gran but older than I see on a daily basis for a mum of a little one.

Relatively common I’d say. Not what I want personally in my 40’s though , I don’t feel old enough to be a grandparent.

My mum was a grandmother at 39. She was also married at 16 though.

Would be really young in my experience. Anything under 60 is young for a grandparent. I'll likely be at least 65 before I'm one if it happens.

I have a mum friend who is the same age as my mum! We both have 3 year olds. I'm definitely a "young" mum around here though despite being married and a homeowner by the time I had my eldest

Half my NCT group were late 20s when we all gave birth so could easily have a 20 year old son or daughter with a child in their late 40s.

I'll be honest: if it's school holidays and the way someone is dressed skews older, and/or they have grey or greying hair, I'd assume grandparent.

I’m 41 and of the people I know who are my age/year, the oldest offspring is 26 and the youngest still in the planning stages (friends who are TTC) And everywhere in between. I have adult DC and littler ones too. I could quite easily have another and there would be a 20+ year age gap between them.

Its perfectly acceptable to have a baby in your 20s, 30s,40s so there will always be a range.