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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

On holiday thinking my marriage might be over

428 replies

Pinkyblue123 · 19/02/2025 06:42

On a skiing holiday with three groups of people including my husband and daughter. I am slower than husband and daughter as had a fall a few years ago and completely lost my confidence. My husband has been really cross with me for not being as good as him and the others. I have asked him to spend time with me to help me to get my confidence back, he just gets cross and says I am pathetic and then I tell him to go off, being shouted at and told you are shit when you are trying to ski down a slope that scares you is not helpful, so I am basically left on my own. I said yesterday that I wanted him to spend an hour with me before he went off with the others, I was feeling a bit lonely and it would be nice to not be stuck in my own all day. He then said I was pathetic, I didn’t try hard enough, I was holding him and everyone back, no one wants to ski with someone that is so rubbish. I saw red and said I understood why his management career didn’t work out if that is how he try’s to help and support people ( he left management a couple of years ago as had some feedback about his management style) this is a sore point for him and so this really stung him. He has now not spoken to me for 24 hours. He does this in an argument and it can last for days, I fully expect him to be like this for the rest of the week. So I am sat here, knowing what it will be like being blanked, trying to make things nice for my daughter, but feeling like I have had enough of being married to him. I know I have hurt him with the comment, but he can give it out but he cannot take it back.

OP posts:
IrisSibirica · 22/02/2025 19:58

I was saddened to read your post OP -
You're married to someone deeply unpleasant and unkind and this is not good for you. There are two matters to consider here:

  1. Salvaging your holiday: There are many things you can do to make sure the rest of your holiday is fine: separate yourself from the group in the daytime - improve your skills, take lessons, do anything that will boost your mood - after all it is YOUR holiday too, never mind the skill level at skiing. And then meet up with the others in the evening and enjoy their company: Entertain them with your stories of learning to ski better. You can own this!

  2. Your long-term plans with your husband. Please walk away if you can find the strength to do this. He is a person who does not care for you or respect you and attacks your weaknesses when you are vulnerable.

Chin up and good luck OP🤗

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 22/02/2025 20:06

Him calling you pathetic would be the deal breaker for me. I don’t think he actually likes you very much. He clearly doesn’t respect you. I’m so sorry.

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 22/02/2025 21:44

Op, hope you're ok and have got through the week. And not put off skiing!!

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