Being locked in?

[DazedandConfusedbyPolitics]

New house to us, so please bear with me. DH nipping out the back door and conservatory so he can smoke a Marlboro in the back garden. He locks both doors behind him because he doesn't want dogs to follow. Fair enough, garden is not completely secure yet. He leaves keys in doors so I'm locked in with dogs and I feel trapped. I can't get out unless he turns or removes keys. AIBU to ask him to remove the keys so I can leave when I want?

I’m genuinely curious with posts like this.
Do people stop and actually consider how to would feel, to be locked in a house without any say in it?
I find it hard to believe that this many people would not be bothered about it.
It’s also clear that there’s more to it.

That there are problems in communication between you and your partner and that you are so stressed that a few minutes in the house with closed doors are freaking you out.

Why have you newly moved into a house you have no claim to? Do you and your DH have plans to change this?

This has all the hallmarks of one of those threads that starts off being about something small and innocuous, then suddenly turns into something much more significant.

OP, do you feel generally safe? Does your husband try to control you? Are you in any way a prisoner? Do you need help to leave?

If you have a problem, please believe that help is available to you. Please tell us what is going on..

If you are legally married, then the house will normally belong to both of you.

Please talk to us and explain the situation. 😊💕

yeah none of this really makes any sense

This ^

Plus I'd have thought it must be a criminal offence (in the UK at least)

That was a baffling thread. Did she ever come back and explain things in a way that made sense?

Bonkers. If this is real. Just get new locks abd keys

Good luck.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5273256-to-think-my-sibling-is-being-totally-unreasonable-about-sleeping-arrangements-on-this-trip

I have windows. If someone locked me in by mistake I wouldn't be massively bothered about it. If they did it deliberately, that's an entirely different issue and quite possibly what the thread should have been about.

I think we ran out of space before she could. Not that any of her attempts at explanation were successful.

You should always be able to quickly get out from both front and back doors. You shouldn't be locked in. If you are, then you need to have a major rethink about the door locks and work something out with your DH. It's just not safe otherwise.

You do have a right to change the locks if you live there. If he's refusing prepare to move out. If you are just visiting then stop visiting until he agrees to take your feelings about small basic things into account.

But this is what happens, on here, and in real life. People deny, repress and displace.

Hi @DazedandConfusedbyPolitics . Are you still there? Can you talk to us?

Yes @DazedandConfusedbyPolitics , please explain further. I find your posts worrying, help is available if you need it.

@DazedandConfusedbyPolitics

That you don’t seem to have a say in your home set up, that your husband won’t comply with a simple request, that you are clearly in a very dysfunctional relationship

I’m sorry @dapsnotplimsolls intrusive thoughts won out and I searched for it. I wish I hadn’t. WTAF.

Come on, now. If you're married then there's no problem changing the locks. Get the same type of lock and then tell him you found the key in a really obscure place.

A link please, I am too lazy to search 🤣

Open a window if you are frightened to be locked in for five minutes. When my DH started to be at home more I sometimes locked him out because I was so used to locking the back doors when I came in from the garden when I was alone in the house, drove him nuts, I'm mainly out of the habit now. Just ask him not to lock the doors.

You will regret it but here you go

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5273256-to-think-my-sibling-is-being-totally-unreasonable-about-sleeping-arrangements-on-this-trip

Also, of course you should ask him to take the keys out if you feel uncomfortable locked in. If he doesn't want them in his pocket (with his fags and lighter) you can lock the door when he goes outside and he can shout/knock when he comes wants back in. If the conservatory and back door are two separate routes to the garden then he takes key for one and leaves the other key inside with you.

You ok OP? Bit worried about you here

Your horrible husband and how to get away?