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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being locked in?

257 replies

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 21:20

New house to us, so please bear with me. DH nipping out the back door and conservatory so he can smoke a Marlboro in the back garden. He locks both doors behind him because he doesn't want dogs to follow. Fair enough, garden is not completely secure yet. He leaves keys in doors so I'm locked in with dogs and I feel trapped. I can't get out unless he turns or removes keys. AIBU to ask him to remove the keys so I can leave when I want?

OP posts:
AppleBlossomMay · 18/02/2025 21:55

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 21:37

We have a front door that is locked. Previous owner took the only(?) key and DH sees no reason to change that lock as it only leads to a porch door that has new locks "so no-one can get in". Fair enough, but when he's off smoking and locking back doors I (and dogs) can't get out of the house.

Show quote history

Where is the key to the porch door with the new locks? Get a copy cut for yourself and arrange for the lock on the front door to be changed ASAP, you don't have to get your Dh to give his permission. You need to be able to go in and out of your front door, for safety reasons if nothing else.

Are your dogs able to open closed doors? What sort of handles do they have? This all seems so strange. Is this some sort of control issue?

dapsnotplimsolls · 18/02/2025 21:56

Sort the front door out asap - you need to be able to get out both ways. Where is the key to the porch door?

Zanatdy · 18/02/2025 21:56

It’s for what, 3 mins?

healthybychristmas · 18/02/2025 21:57

Why are you letting him make a decision on this? It makes sense for you to lock him out until he is ready to come back in. Or for him to put the dogs in a room where he can shut the door before he goes out for a cigarette.

discdiscsnap · 18/02/2025 21:59

So neither of you can get in or out the front door . ? That's dangerous and needs changing.

Why didn't he just shut the doors behind him, ? Why do you only have one key?

PondWarrior · 18/02/2025 21:59

Convolvulus · 18/02/2025 21:53

Why on earth haven't you demanded the front door key from the previous owner? What do you do when, say, someone delivers a parcel to the front door?

This! Are you planning to just use the back door forever? I don’t get it.

Hopelesscase32 · 18/02/2025 22:00

Christ it takes 5 mins to smoke a fag unless he's smoking the whole pack in one go. You're massively over exaggerating and this post is pointless

AngryBookworm · 18/02/2025 22:00

What in the name of all that is holy is this house? You can't open the front door, your husband needs to lock you in when he goes for a fag because your dogs can ...open doors? What is happening here? I'd be getting a locksmith in so you can open all the doors to your house (not an unreasonable ask) and get handles on the inside of the back door or another key and ask husband not to turn the key and leave it in, which is weird behaviour on his part. Or can the dogs use keys as well?

JandamiHash · 18/02/2025 22:01

OP aren’t you worried about the previous owner braking into your house?

Suzuki76 · 18/02/2025 22:02

I don't... What?

Are you going to have a front door with no key until you sell the house and then the new owner -who is not totally batshit - wants a key?

Crazybaby123 · 18/02/2025 22:02

You need to get your front door sorted.

JandamiHash · 18/02/2025 22:03

AngryBookworm · 18/02/2025 22:00

What in the name of all that is holy is this house? You can't open the front door, your husband needs to lock you in when he goes for a fag because your dogs can ...open doors? What is happening here? I'd be getting a locksmith in so you can open all the doors to your house (not an unreasonable ask) and get handles on the inside of the back door or another key and ask husband not to turn the key and leave it in, which is weird behaviour on his part. Or can the dogs use keys as well?

Yes I don’t understand the locking aspect. Can’t the doors just close? I once had a dog that had a bloody good go at playing the piano but never known one to have the dexterity to unlock a door with a key

Littlemisscapable · 18/02/2025 22:03

what ? Sort out front door. This isn't a drama.. its basic life admin..

fashionqueen0123 · 18/02/2025 22:04

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 21:37

We have a front door that is locked. Previous owner took the only(?) key and DH sees no reason to change that lock as it only leads to a porch door that has new locks "so no-one can get in". Fair enough, but when he's off smoking and locking back doors I (and dogs) can't get out of the house.

Show quote history

So you’re going to leave the front door on your house locked forever?! Wtf

CoffeeFluff · 18/02/2025 22:04

The absurdity is triggering trauma I still feel from reading the post about the Airbnb spare bedroom/brother mathematics that didn’t add up.

Original poster
DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 22:05

Thanks. Yes one of my dogs is more than able to open a closed door. I don't own the house, DH does, therefore I have no right to change locks.Yes I am depressed, oppressed, unhappy and dejected.

OP posts:
ttcat37 · 18/02/2025 22:06

Why does he need to lock it though? Just close it like a normal person
Edit- crossposted. Train the dog?

isthatmyage · 18/02/2025 22:06

OP why do you not own the house jointly? Seems very odd and controlling to me 😞

Hankunamatata · 18/02/2025 22:06

Change to a thumb turn on inside?

LIZS · 18/02/2025 22:06

Why does he need to lock the door, can the dogs open handles?

CaptainFuture · 18/02/2025 22:06

CoffeeFluff · 18/02/2025 22:04

The absurdity is triggering trauma I still feel from reading the post about the Airbnb spare bedroom/brother mathematics that didn’t add up.

Or the self employed carer allocated by dwp at £2per hour thread!...

BarbieKew · 18/02/2025 22:06

CoffeeFluff · 18/02/2025 22:04

The absurdity is triggering trauma I still feel from reading the post about the Airbnb spare bedroom/brother mathematics that didn’t add up.

Yeah same.

@DazedandConfusedbyPolitics try and explain it better. When everyone is confused it means its an OP problem.

JandamiHash · 18/02/2025 22:06

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 22:05

Thanks. Yes one of my dogs is more than able to open a closed door. I don't own the house, DH does, therefore I have no right to change locks.Yes I am depressed, oppressed, unhappy and dejected.

You live there so you absolutely have the right to change locks. How can you sleep soundly in a house with just one exit and where someone else has the only front door key!

Do you have big dogs OP? Wouldn’t the obvious solution be to keep the dogs in another room?

ClarasSisters · 18/02/2025 22:06

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 21:37

We have a front door that is locked. Previous owner took the only(?) key and DH sees no reason to change that lock as it only leads to a porch door that has new locks "so no-one can get in". Fair enough, but when he's off smoking and locking back doors I (and dogs) can't get out of the house.

Show quote history

What?? So the only way you can access your front porch is from outside the house? And the only way you can enter your property is through the conservatory/back door? Unless you only moved in today that's utterly batshit.

LongDarkTeatime · 18/02/2025 22:07

How is it you are married yet you don’t share ownership of the house?

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