To think my sibling is being totally unreasonable about sleeping arrangements on this trip?

[jd206]

Posting here for traffic because I need to know if I’m being mad or if my sibling is just being ridiculous.

We (me, DH, DCs, my sibling, and their DP) are going on a family trip soon. It’s been planned for ages, all agreed and booked. We’re staying in a big Airbnb-type place with multiple bedrooms. The plan was that DH and I would have one room, DCs in another, and my sibling and their DP in the third. There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it.

Now, sibling has suddenly decided that they don’t want to share a room with their DP because “they sleep badly together” (which is apparently news to everyone, including DP!). They’ve said they’ll be taking the box room instead, which means DP will now have to share with one of my DCs (who is 6 and not thrilled at the idea of sharing with an adult they barely know that well).

I told them that’s not fair and that they need to just suck it up and share with their DP as planned. They’re now saying I’m being unreasonable and need to be more flexible, and that the sleeping arrangements aren’t set in stone. But surely you don’t just unilaterally change things like this last minute?!

DM has now waded in and is backing sibling, saying I’m being selfish and that we should “find a compromise” (but what compromise? DH and I aren’t going to split up for the sake of their random issue).

So, AIBU to think my sibling is being totally unfair and should just stick to the original plan? Or am I missing something here?

TL;DR: Sibling suddenly refusing to share with their DP on a trip, wants to take the spare room, leaving their DP to bunk with my child. I’ve said no, now I’m the bad guy. Who’s BU here?

Have I missed something? The plan was one room for you/DH, another for your kids, one for your sister/DP and a spare box room? So, four bedrooms?

So why can't your sister have the box room and her DP stay in the room they were originally in?

Why can't siblings or their DP have the spare box room?

I’m confused. I thought the box room was a spare? Why does this now mean someone has to also with the kids? I wouldn’t be happy about my child sharing with an adult they didn’t know and weren’t comfortable with either.

Sorry, this doesn't make sense. You said the box room was spare, so why does your sister's partner now have to share with your child?

your Op reads like there’s an unused box room with a single bed which would be the obvious thing for her or her DP to use, but since you’re also saying that it means someone sharing with your Dc I guess that’s not the case? How are you splitting costs? Are you paying more to have use of 2 bedrooms a their one?

I dont understand.
If they take spare room then two adults have one room each and the other rooms are the same. One for you and your do. One for your dc. One for your sibling. Box room for sibling do.

I think we need some clarification on this one. Or a diagram!

This is the most confusing bedroom/holiday thread ever!

I am a bit lost. The box room was going spare. Had you just assumed that you could have the box room for your dh or one of your ds? From what I can see little has changed.

I don't understand the issue. Your post says there are 4 rooms - one for your and your partner, one for the children, and you then said the brother and partner would share, leaving a spare box room..if they sleep in separate rooms then its not an issue, you just won't have a spare room.

I don’t understand why sibling taking the unused room means your six year old has to sleep with their partner.

Also why aren’t you saying the sex of the sibling and partner? That is relevant for evaluating the appropriateness of sleeping arrangements. It would be inappropriate for your six year old daughter to sleep with an adult man she barely knows.

you need to give us more info.

But that room is spare so why is there any sharing?

That makes no sense.

Surely your sisters partner just stats in the room allocated to the two of them.

Makes no sense. You said the box room with the single bed was spare ?

Agree with others, you’ve explicitly said the box room was just spare anyway so it makes no difference if someone decides to sleep in there. Everyone still has their allocated room and no extra sharing is involved.

1. the math ain't mathing
2. even if it did, why on earth is the solution to force your 6yo to share with am unrelated adult? In what world is that the only solution?

Here for the clarification!

As everyone else says, I'm baffled, your op read like there is 3 rooms plus a box room so 4 in total, so why is anyone sharing???? 🤔🤔🤔

Why does it matter, the room is spare?

I read the OP three times. Still baffled.

Why on earth would them sleeping in separate bedrooms mean your DH has to go in with the kids??

I think we need an architectural plan and the Airbnb...

definitely something missing here.. but no I wouldn't allow sibling's DP to share with one of my kids.

Because it wasn’t meant to be a permanent bedroom, just a spare in case someone was ill, needed a break, etc. The plan was always that everyone would share appropriately. My sibling is the one changing things last minute and making it awkward for everyone else. Why should their DP have to share with my DC just because they’ve suddenly decided they don’t fancy sharing a bed?

Thank God everyone else is confused too, i was worried my brain wasn't braining properly