Ask DH to not go on holiday with female friend.

[Freelll]

My DH & DS have gone on holiday with DS’s friend and his mother several times in the past. They all share an interest in basketball and travel to the US to watch NBA games.

This year, despite booking tickets, the children have decided they want to travel with the friend’s father instead - the friends parents are divorced. However, my DH & this woman, are still planning to travel to the US together, as the tickets have already been paid for.

I don’t want him to go on holiday with just her; I have never been 100% comfortable with these trips but decided to keep my mouth shut because I’ve gone on holiday with male friends in the past, which my husband was unhappy about. I regret being so blood minded at the time.

Is it reasonable to ask him not to go?

What? Only men make advances?

Have you checked whose idea it was for the kids to decide to go with one of their dads instead? There’s no chance it’s been engineered?

Let's face it. Married men & women who go gallivanting alone on nights out or holidays with the opposite sex have an emotional if not physical open marriage. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that if it's what works for everyone involved in the relationship.

It's very odd that you are telling people what kind of marriage they have.

My marriage isn't open just because I go on holidays with my male friend because he is just a friend. Holidays with him are no different to when I go 'gallivanting' with any other friend who is female.

The bottom line is that you tell your POS husband that if he goes on vacation with this woman he can then go live in her house. He’s obviously choosing her over you. Hear his words. You don’t count. Get rid of him. He wants his cake , etc.

I too wondered about that, @SunnySideUK77.

@Freelll, several of us have asked questions about the whole scenario, but you haven’t returned to elaborate. I hope that you’ve spoken to your H by now. Your peace of mind is priceless, and I fear that you will bitterly regret not addressing your discomfort with him and urging him to nix this trip. Like I said earlier, this would be a major breach in my marriage.

Yes this really needs nipping in the bud. Hope you are ok, OP

I would say that it's reasonable to say no except for;
You've gone on holidays with men when he wasn't happy
The tickets are paid for

I'd suggest going as well, maybe with a friend and make a group of it or just saying that next time you would rather he didn't book. It's a bit late now it's all paid for, and also a very awkward conversation that basically goes "my wife thinks I might shag you" and honestly it just makes you a hypocrite if you've done the same to him. You need to agree boundaries after this trip that make you both comfortable.

This is nonsense, my husband has several female friends, I know full well there is zero attraction there (for many reasons, they're not his type, they were friends with zero benefits when they were all single, one is a lesbian anyway and also I TRUST HIM AND HE LOVES ME). I don't mind him having weekends away without me with them or anyone else, we agree we don't do longer than a long weekend with our friends just because of annual leave usage, missing each other and having the kids on our own is harder work, so as a couple our boundaries mean we do 3 nights max on friendship holidays. I go with friends for spa weekends or city breaks, my friends are female because that's who I'm friends with, but if they were male it wouldn't make me a gallivanting wh**e!! Fgs, it is possible to have friends and not bang them, some of us don't want to sleep with everyone whose genitals fit....

Nothing to do with sex