To leave my 15 &11month child overnight

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I booked tickets for me and DH to go to see comedy in a city two hour from home. The plan was for my 2DC to stay at my MILs, however my DCs don't want to stay and have asked to be left at home overnight, tickets and hotel non refundable. Our eldest will be 15 and 11months and the younger 14. They get on really well and are both sensible.

The neighbours will be there if the DCs need them, we act as back up if either couple has an evening out.

My DH feels leaving them would be fine, but I'm a bit anxious about it.

YANBU - just go, the DC could leave home in a month.
YABU - cancel and stay at home you'll have to wait for the next opportunity once DC is 16.

Teenagers, omg. No! They are probably up to something! :p

This! ⬆️ Tough shit if they don't want to stay at grandma's - you deserve a night off & they have to suck it up!!

So basically 16 and 14. If they are both sensible then yes.

YABU - cancel and stay at home you'll have to wait for the next opportunity once DC is 16

Whys this an option?? Why on earth would you even consider cancelling

Your 2 options are you let them stay themselves or they get told they're going to the GP. They can suck it up for one night

To those that say you can't leave a 16 year old: at what age do plan to loosen the reins a bit? They'll be fully fledged adults by 18. Do you think they suddenly hit 18 and grow up? They need time to learn and practise in small doses. I can't believe how ridiculously overprotective some parents are. Bonkers.

I know everyone is different but unless has additional needs and you think they are trustworthy I would say go.

My dad's rule was when we were 16 we got a job and moved out and thats exactly what we did. Times are very different now and children are children for mich longer but at very almost 16 I'd say fine. 14 maybe not so.

Otherwise the answer is send both to grandparents as a non negotiable. Both home or both not.

They should go to their grandparents as planned.

They have asked about staying, not dictated.
OP's husband is relaxed about it. He presumably knows his kids. It is OP only that is 'anxious' about it.
As you say, it is one night. They will be fine at home.

Yeah, I would. I was left for a week at that age, albeit I was very mature

1 month off 16? Yeah I would, I would just tell them they’re to reply to messages when I ask.

I wouldn’t I have a nearly 16 year old and nearly 17 year old, I trust them both completely but I would never forgive myself if something happened. I won’t leave them overnight until they are 17 and 18. Can you kids not stay at a friends overnight? That’s what we do if we have a night away. I should add that we do live rurally and no one easily on hand if something were to go wrong which may well be an influence in my decision.

Something could happen when they are 17 and 18 what would 12 months difference make?
They are either mature enough to be left or not .

I wouldn't at 14.

All of my dc sleep like they're in a coma and always have. If there was a fire alarm I'm 90% sure dc2 at least (14) wouldn't stir.

We don't know how switched on they are, but the neighbours on hand anyway, so I can't see a problem.

RED FLAG ALERT ‼️

Depends how close you are to the Neighbours

things happen - we have had boiler stops working (needs pressure checking), electrics go (needs electrician called out on a Sunday) water goes (supply issue) car caught fire house behind

all of these things can happen (electricity and water infrastructures are rubbish) do they know what to do in these situations

it’s not about them being fine, it’s about any issues that might come up such as a fire? a burglar? any other emergency.

But they could come up at any time they are either mature enough to deal with it or not.

If anything bad happened god forbid, you’d be absolutely slated for leaving them. The thought of a break in or fire would be too much for me. At that age my children would be told what they are going tbh

You could have written the title better - it made me think who is this crazy person leaving 2 little babies alone (15months and 11 months old) rather than almost 16 and 14yrs.
We started leaving our 2 to at home from when the youngest was 13ish and eldest 15yrs, for a couple of hours dinner, cinema etc. So when it was an overnight it was no big deal. We spoke to them on the phone and got them to text us. They also spoke with my parents who live nearby. Have a great night!

I think 14 is too young so I wouldn't, personally. My partner lives 3 hours away and I sometimes visit at weekends. I didn't leave my dc alone in the house until they were more like 16 and 18.

Literally one of the most sensible responses on here. I can’t imagine an about to turn sixteen year old can’t manage one night at home, same with the slightly younger one. They’ll watch TV, microwave a meal or order a pizza, probably eat some junk food and go to bed. They’ll have a great time. Unless some medical or neurodivergence issues making it unsafe I find this bizarre.
I appreciate we keep children in formal education until 18 now, but really not that long ago (“in my day…” ha!) you could leave school and go straight to work at 16. Now we want to have them babysat by someone practically their own age. This is bonkers to me.

I think the issue is that you have two children here. The nearly 16 year old then, yes, assuming they are confident and sensible. But I wouldn't leave a 14 year old without adult supervision and it's wrong to expect a 15-16 year old to be responsible for their younger sibling.

Do your DC have friends they could stay at rather than stay at their grandparents? I think my DC would have preferred this at this age.

I wouldn't leave them personally. I also wouldn't let them dictate to me to the point you're considering cancelling your night out. It's one night. They can get over it.