To leave my 15 &11month child overnight

[Trounlet]

I booked tickets for me and DH to go to see comedy in a city two hour from home. The plan was for my 2DC to stay at my MILs, however my DCs don't want to stay and have asked to be left at home overnight, tickets and hotel non refundable. Our eldest will be 15 and 11months and the younger 14. They get on really well and are both sensible.

The neighbours will be there if the DCs need them, we act as back up if either couple has an evening out.

My DH feels leaving them would be fine, but I'm a bit anxious about it.

YANBU - just go, the DC could leave home in a month.
YABU - cancel and stay at home you'll have to wait for the next opportunity once DC is 16.

They'd be absolutely fine. I'd be more worried if you couldn't leave a sensible almost-16 year old alone for the night tbh!

Of course. It's just overnight and they are sensible, not to mention have the neighbours watching out for them.

Option 3 do as they’re told.

If you’re going to anxious all evening, then it’s miserable.

They go to Mil

This! I’m shocked cancelling crossed your mind.

Almost 16 … it will be fine.

@TimeForSprings

theyll not be able to have a drink then if they’re gonna drive home

Yes, I’d have left mine at that age. I wouldn’t have asked anyone’s advice on the matter.

Here’s the thing, you don’t need everyone to be ok with your parenting decisions. YOU have to be ok with them.

Almost 16 yes absolutely I would but then my eldest 3 were mature at that age. If neighbours are aware. If it's a way off why not do a "trial run" book a night very local and then you can always do a check in if you worry through evening? If that's an option

I wouldn't leave them overnight. I'd tell them they are going to stay with their grandparents, it's just one night and they just have to suck it up!

I do and have. I mean 2 hours away. For multiple hours as in a trip to the beach 2 hours there. The day. 2 hours back.

Spot on!

I was babysitting a 2 and 4 year old alone at 16 until 2am most Saturday nights

You know your kids I would of left mine

I'm no helicopter parent, I work late shift and leave my teen alone no problem but not overnight, no chance.

I would insist that they go to grandparents, so you both have the reassurance / peace of mind that they’re safe & so you can properly enjoy the break. They can both tolerate this for one night surely?!

Wouldn't leave them alone. They've been booked in with GP so you can relax and enjoy your evening/night away.
My 2 are younger but would just tell them that's what's arranged, they've got to suck it up!
My 3 nieces are similar age and generally prefer an adult around, even if parents are only out for a few hours. (That's even with GP round the corner)!

I'm confused about the options. There seems to be one missing, the option where they do as you've asked - if they are too young to be left overnight then they are too young to call the shots on this

So they go to GPs as arranged.
And the parents have an adult night out and the kids do as they're told.
Sorry but it wouldn't be negotiable

I’ve left my 15 yo DS home overnight. But he’s very self sufficient and can be trusted to walk the dogs, order a takeaway, and lock up. I know he wouldn’t do anything silly like invite friends around. If there were a problem, he knows our neighbours well and grandparents are a few streets away.

@Trounlet There's no specific legal age in the UK at which a child can't be left home alone (although if a parent leaves a child unsupervised in a way that is considered to put them at risk, they could be prosecuted for neglect). I would say that most (nigh-on) 16 and 14yr olds are responsible enough to stay home alone overnight and you know your children and if they can handle this (it sounds as if they can so I've voted YANBU) - I think your children will appreciate you and your DH trusting them to be responsible. My parents wouldn't have worried about leaving me and my sisters home alone at this age. If any issues arise, you've all got mobile phones (I assume) and the neighbours are on hand. Go and enjoy your show!

I think it would be very normal and healthy to leave them overnight. A practically 16 year old and a 14 year old will be fine and will probably enjoy some freedom. They have phones to contact you or anyone else if there is a problem.

I never really understood the fire argument. Even at 35 years old I wouldn’t be sure what to do and probably google “what to do if your house is on fire??” I seem to remember schools doing fire training so a teenager would probably have more recent knowledge than me.

So did I!! Was going to say Bloody hell NOO!!

Fine for an evening but not overnight.

They will be absolutely fine. They don't need an overprotective parent!

It would depend on the teens and the closeness of the neighbors, probably. Honestly I think the difference between leaving teens at home when parents are out until 2 or 3 am and one overnight is really just psychological unless you're worried about parties or them not coming home themselves (which I assume the neighbors checking up on will prevent) but it's still hard to get past.

But I'm not sure why there aren't other options... do they have friends they could sleep over with? What about a uni-aged family friend, neighbor or friend of yours without DC at home who could come stay the night just as emergency backup for a little pay?

Absolutely this👆