Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being naked in front of DP/DH

465 replies

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 17/02/2025 15:12

Are you comfortable being visibly naked in front of your partner? Would you be ok with the lights on/daylight etc and walk around with nothing on?

Or would you have a towel/underwear/a sheet over you?

i’m not bothered about my wobbly bits on a daily basis, and felt just the same way when I was several stone lighter, so I don’t see it as a body image thing as such, I juat wouldn’t walk around naked in front of him. He thinks this says something fundamental about our relationship.

YABU - I think its normal to feel 100% at ease walking about naked in front of my DP/DH

YANBU - I’d rather keep some things undercover and feel self conscious naked standing up and walking about the bedroom/house.

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 17/02/2025 16:58

I’m very comfortable in my own skin and generally walk about naked while getting ready etc. I’d probably be naked in the house most of the time if I didn’t have neighbours, lol. I’m not big now, but have been bigger and was comfortable then too. If my partner didn’t like it, that’s his problem (he loves it). My partner is less keen on being naked as he feels he is too heavy right now. He is bigger than he should be for his health but it doesn’t bother me from a visual point of view and I wouldn’t dream of saying anything.

BunnyLake · 17/02/2025 16:59

I wouldn’t walk around naked (do you mean like go in the kitchen, put the kettle on type thing etc?) I wouldn't even do that living on my own, I'm just not comfortable with that sort of thing, naturism etc not my bag. I didn't have an issue with it in the bedroom but no one is going to be seeing me in the nuddy anymore, those days have thankfully gone.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 17/02/2025 16:59

I walk around naked all the time and cannot think of the last time I had a bath without someone wanting to tell me something.
My body is amazing. I am nearly 50, had two kids, got one inverted nipple (so I look like I'm winking), stretch marks, those weird bumps on the tops of my arms, hairy legs but hardly any pubes, my arse wobbles and my tits look like used tea bags.
My body is amazing. It gets me here everyday. Be proud.

GiddyRobin · 17/02/2025 17:00

I have no issues being naked in front of DH. I mean, this is the same man who cleaned my weeping episiotomy wounds and wiped my backside when I was post-partum. I have zero shame and I'm proud of my body. I've always been like that though. My body isn't something to be embarrassed about, even with its flaws and functions!

Only man to ever say a bad word about my body was some moron who made a clever comment about my teenage stretchmarks. His loss, I kicked him out and got with my best (female, and very complimentary!) friend instead. 🤣

Tiswa · 17/02/2025 17:00

So it is just him you are uncomfortable with it - the fact you are I think is because of him not you

Spanielsaremad · 17/02/2025 17:03

We absolutely walk around naked in front of each other. I never considered that people didn't tbh.

Starsandall · 17/02/2025 17:05

I think this varies in personality and how comfortable you are in your own body and with that person. I’m in a new ish relationship and comfortable because he is and does walk around naked. So I do the same. Previously I was more cautious.

geresever · 17/02/2025 17:05

I don't have any problems with being seen naked, although not in front of my dcs, so I don't get much opportunity to be naked at home these days. And definitely too cold not to be in several fleece layers these days.

5128gap · 17/02/2025 17:07

Ooh he's a snakey one! Twisting logic to suit his agenda with the 'you were sensitive already' comment. Like he doesn't know he could make that better or worse. Not sure what his game is other than trying to keep the power balance in his favour, but i don't care for it much. This isn't about how being naked makes you feel, its about how he makes you feel.

outofideas2 · 17/02/2025 17:08

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 17/02/2025 16:59

I walk around naked all the time and cannot think of the last time I had a bath without someone wanting to tell me something.
My body is amazing. I am nearly 50, had two kids, got one inverted nipple (so I look like I'm winking), stretch marks, those weird bumps on the tops of my arms, hairy legs but hardly any pubes, my arse wobbles and my tits look like used tea bags.
My body is amazing. It gets me here everyday. Be proud.

I'm with you @eqpi4t2hbsnktd , four kids here including two caesarians. About 2 stone more than I should be, but appreciative of my healthy body (working in a hospice may influence that feeling too!). DH is the lucky bugger who sees me naked every day! I wish every woman could think the way you do.

sweetpickle2 · 17/02/2025 17:08

Some of these replies are so sad. Everyone should do what their comfortable with, but if you honestly think your partner would dump you if they saw you had (shock horror) a fat belly or whatever, then they're not much of a partner.

Also I'm sorry to tell you that if you've ever had sex- whether its in low light or with a t-shirt on or whatever the poster who hides her tummy from her husband has done for the past almost 40 years- then your partner already knows what you look like naked.

Newposter180 · 17/02/2025 17:09

Archive · 17/02/2025 16:17

I used to happily walk around naked with him around. He, however, decided to call me fat during an argument a few months ago so that has very much changed. I know he regrets it but he can never take that back & I can never kid myself about how he seems me again - my hatred of my body is made worse by being heavily pregnant and I’m dreading him seeing me giving birth 😔

Sorry, he called you fat whilst pregnant with his child??

WhereAreWeNow · 17/02/2025 17:12

I'm really envious of all of you who are so at ease in your bodies. I know on a logical level that my body is fine. I'm slim and healthy. But I feel so ashamed of my body. It's got worse as I've got older. I hate being undressed around DP. I know it's not healthy but I don't know how to change it.

VickyEadieofThigh · 17/02/2025 17:13

I've never been comfortable walking around naked when I'm in the house BY MYSELF!

Slipperfairy · 17/02/2025 17:14

He wiped my bum when I was giving birth to ds. Compared to that, my body is amazing.
I have no qualms being naked in front of anyone, really. Should the need arise.

Newposter180 · 17/02/2025 17:16

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 17/02/2025 16:39

I’m so sorry, thats awful of him. It is hard to let something like that go tbh. My DP has said things in the past about my weight, always dressing it up as concern for my health etc but “its just a fact, you are overweight and you have a higher chance of xyz, its not a judgment, just data shows etc” Its very hard to unhear that stuff, even when said in an argument, so I do feel for you. I don’t know how you get past feeling like that.

I think I’m more sensitive to it with this DP than previous ones a) because he’s so skinny and b) because it wasn’t his babies that made me look like this!

With XH I was really ok because I figured he’d seen me grow these babies in my body so he couldn’t be surprised by the toll they took on my shape.

My next DP had his own weight issues so he would never have pointed it out.

Current DP feels very offended when I say I didn’t feel so self conscious in front if exes, as he insists it isn’t him mentioning it thats upsetting me, its internal, so it must be how I’ve always felt about myself.

I guess its a bit of both, but the worst thing is him insisting I must be lying when I say they didn’t make me feel like there’s something wrong with me, because <gestures at my body> obviously they could see what I look like.

Show quote history

To use an old favourite: sounds like you would do well to shed 10 stone in the form of your partner…

theleafandnotthetree · 17/02/2025 17:16

Archive · 17/02/2025 16:17

I used to happily walk around naked with him around. He, however, decided to call me fat during an argument a few months ago so that has very much changed. I know he regrets it but he can never take that back & I can never kid myself about how he seems me again - my hatred of my body is made worse by being heavily pregnant and I’m dreading him seeing me giving birth 😔

He doesn't have to see you giving birth, if I had my time over I'd not have had my then husband there. Privately, a good few men I know have admitted they would as soon as not have been in the room. For pretty much all of human history, and still in much of the world, men wouldn't have been present. Your comfort and ease are THE most important thing, doesn't have to be a big row just a clear statement of how you wish it to be.

EnterFunnyNameHere · 17/02/2025 17:18

I'm not one for walking around naked anyway, as I like having the curtains open 😁 But there's not really many times i would be fine being naked but not with my DH being able to see me - as in, if I was naked after a shower/getting changed it wouldn't bother me at all for him to be there.

sweetpickle2 · 17/02/2025 17:19

WhereAreWeNow · 17/02/2025 17:12

I'm really envious of all of you who are so at ease in your bodies. I know on a logical level that my body is fine. I'm slim and healthy. But I feel so ashamed of my body. It's got worse as I've got older. I hate being undressed around DP. I know it's not healthy but I don't know how to change it.

Don't get me wrong I don't love myself every day, but I also know that a body is just a body- and hiding it away and avoiding mirrors and telling myself it's disgusting is not going to make me feel any better about it.

I know that people being naked in gym changing rooms is a bit divisive on Mumsnet, but honestly it's one of the biggest reasons I've been able to change how I feel about my own naked body. Seeing other naked bodies is such a great leveller and makes you realise that we all basically have the same bits- everyone's got cellulite, everyone wobbles (even thin people)!

I'm no nudist but if I'm having sex with someone, there's little point in worrying about them seeing me naked- by that point, that horse has bolted. And in my experience, if we're talking about men, they're all just excited to be seeing a naked woman. They're not being critical about all the bits you're critical about (unless they're a dickhead, of course, in which case they shouldn't get to see you naked anyway).

Saggyknickers · 17/02/2025 17:21

I walk around naked sometimes bc I know dh loves it and loves seeing my body. I wouldn't say I'm comfortable though but that's my problem and I don't want to be like the poster who's partner has never seen her naked since 1987! That's just sad.

NotAlwaysasitSeems · 17/02/2025 17:23

Archive · 17/02/2025 16:17

I used to happily walk around naked with him around. He, however, decided to call me fat during an argument a few months ago so that has very much changed. I know he regrets it but he can never take that back & I can never kid myself about how he seems me again - my hatred of my body is made worse by being heavily pregnant and I’m dreading him seeing me giving birth 😔

I'm really sorry you had to experience that. You're not fat, you're carrying a baby, his child. Even if you weren't pregnant, that comment is disgusting. I would make it clear to him if any more comments like that, he won't be welcome in the delivery room, until after baby is born. No excuse at all for that. 💐

Saggyknickers · 17/02/2025 17:24

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 17/02/2025 16:59

I walk around naked all the time and cannot think of the last time I had a bath without someone wanting to tell me something.
My body is amazing. I am nearly 50, had two kids, got one inverted nipple (so I look like I'm winking), stretch marks, those weird bumps on the tops of my arms, hairy legs but hardly any pubes, my arse wobbles and my tits look like used tea bags.
My body is amazing. It gets me here everyday. Be proud.

🤣🤣🤣 LOVE IT!!!

BookishType · 17/02/2025 17:25

I was always a complete exhibitionist until I gained about 3 stone in recent years. I stopped stripping off in front of my husband and felt self-conscious if he was in the bathroom when I was in the shower or the bath. I secretly thought he’d be looking at me thinking ‘what the heck?’, which is how I felt about myself. I’d like to have been the type that didn’t care that I had become somewhat Rubenesque, but I felt embarrassed.

I have recently lost all that weight and more (thanks Mounjaro) and I’m back to confidently walking around naked in front of him.

GoldMoon · 17/02/2025 17:27

I don't walk about naked , but happy to ask dh to look at any body part of need be.
Can't sleep naked either as I worry about weird things like something crawling over me or needing medical help and not be able to move .
Dh has no qualms , would answer door in his pants or take something to the bin in the back garden if I didn't tell him off .

Saggyknickers · 17/02/2025 17:28

Christ OP I've just read your other posts.

He sounds like a right twat - not surprised you're feeling self conscious. He may try to dress his nasty comments up as being "helpful but they're really not".
He knows exactly what he's doing - negging you to damage your confidence and look - it's working. He's probably deeply insecure and worried you'll leave him.