to not want to announce my baby’s weight

[TeaAndToys]

I know I might be a bit PFB here but I’m feeling like I don’t want to share my baby’s weight when she’s born. My mum is really fixated on babies' weights, and it tends to get uncomfortable when babies weigh over about 6lbs. She’ll bring it up constantly even when it’s unprompted. For example, a school friend of mine recently had a baby who weighed 7lb 3oz and my mum has mentioned how "huge" he is at least four times, despite me pointing out that he’s perfectly average. It drives me mad, especially since my mum has only seen the Mum once in the last 20 years and is probably never going to meet the baby! But she keeps focusing on it. I can’t quite put my finger on exactly why, but the comments always come off as a negative or judgmental, like it’s somehow a bad thing if babies aren’t tiny. So with my baby I’m seriously considering not telling anyone her weight at all to avoid those kinds of comments. Has anyone else felt the same or done something similar?

I’d love to hear what she’d have to say about my 10lb 3oz bundle of joy!

Weird behaviour from your mum. Have you asked her why she feels a need to do this? I've had two tiny babies- believe me it's scary and they struggled due to their tiny weights. Equally babies of all weights can struggle for various reasons. I'd tell your mother to put a sock in it and enjoy your baby no matter what they weigh. Plus they tend to lose some weight after birth too so it's a strange thing to get hung up on (by your mum, not you).

It's weird because 7lb 3 isn't event big! I can see why you wouldn't want to tell your mother the weight if she's going to think perfectly average weight is big. Not that there's anything wrong with big babies! Mine were both very average between 7-8lb

Jeez, my lightest baby was 9lb. What would she say about that!

Ftr, I thought comments on huge babies were meant to be compliments?

No one is really interested. It is just something people ask so that they SEEM interested. If it is heavier, people may say wow - but honestly - no one actually cares. I mean - what else is there to ask if someone tells you already it is either a boy or a girl? You will seem really strange to people if you don't tell them - just make something up if you don't want the real weight known.

I can understand why you want to do this but I fear it won't work. Not announcing the weight will just draw more attention and have people guessing or asking again and again especially if they are trying to buy clothes for gifts etc. Maybe try chatting to your mum between now and baby coming and tell her how your feel.

Both my DDs were early, 1st was 7lb 12oz, 2nd was 8lb 11oz and my mum always goes on about how tiny they were!

Most people wouldn’t think twice about it unless the baby was particularly teeny (more in concern for the baby as they were presumably born prematurely) or extremely huge - like double what your mum calls huge - in awe of mum carrying and birthing such a huge baby! Your mum is being bizarre but most people are just asking out of curiosity/making conversation and then will pretty much forget about it.

my DS was 6lbs 5 oz when he was born. A perfectly normal weight (but big according to your mum!) but he was so small and even tiny baby size clothing drowned him.

In short, it’s of course completely up to you, (your baby your choice) what information you give- but it would be slightly odd to be withholding that information (but would be perfectly normal to if everyone was as obsessive about the info as your mum is!).

6lb is absolutely miniscule, what's your mum's problem? 🤦🏻‍♀️

It's one of those questions that tend to automatically get asked when someone has a baby
Oh lovely whst did they have,
What are they calling her
What weight was she
Don't tell your mum if you don't want too but you will probably be asked by others.

My oldest was 7lb3oz and wore tiny baby for at least a month 😂
Middle was 8lb 8oz and is really small for her age.
My littlest was 1lb7oz and still wears 3-6 months clothes at 18 months 🙃

Strange to be so fixated on babies weight! Surely a healthy baby is most important?

I think by refusing to say, you'll just make even more of a drama of the whole thing tbh. I'd say it, then if your mum goes on about it just have a conversation with her and tell her to stop.

My old workplace used to announce baby births including the weight but stopped this practice. One manager for a joke made up a silly name and fake weight and sent this to HR to circle around. The fake name was some in joke relating to the new mother and probably was funny within their group. However the weight was very heavy, 11lbs or so, and the woman was extremely thin, unusually so. When she was still working i couldn't help but think she looked too thin to be pregnant and her bump was tiny. This silly email sparked all sorts of conversations about this woman's body and I admit I was involved in one, we couldn't work out how someone so underweight had such a big baby. As you can imagine this got back to the woman who was extremely upset and the manager was in trouble. Since then I've been careful about sharing baby weights. I also understand the embarrassment as my 1st was very heavy and had lots of body fat and I'm a bit overweight and felt oh typical stupid fat me having a bit fat baby..I hated telling people his weight because I felt they were thinking what I was thinking about myself.

Same! I had 2 over 10lbs!
Your mother is ridiculous op!

I was prepared to say PFB until I read what your mum is actually saying.
Has she got confused about weights eg she's thinking the baby was 7kg or does she have form for being weird about things like weight?

My babies were 7lb 11 and 6 lb10 and I thought the first was completely normal and the second slightly small. They both fit perfectly in newborn clothes

Is your mum the type of woman who performative eats small portions? Does she perhaps think being able to birth a big baby is un-feminine?

OP, just tell her a complete lie, even if it's perfectly obvious your baby is heavier.

I know most people won't care about the weight big, small or in-between, but I know my mum definitely will (or at least I assume so given how much she brings up the weight of babies she barely knows). And I can't tell everyone but my mum, because I'm sure she'd find out anyway if I did.

I wouldn't go out of my way to keep it a secret, no. That's just making it an even bigger deal.
Whatever she says, are only words.
Don't read into them, it's a non issue really. She doesn't hurt you or anyone by saying it.

That’s really weird of your mother, I’d probably tell her the weight and then ask her why she’s being so weird about it if she commented. I was a whopping great 10lb baby and ended up being a very petite framed 5”2 adult also, it’s hardly an indication of future size and as long as the baby is healthy, what on earth does it matter!

Or just tell everyone you are doing a charity "guess the weight" ...

I would announce the weight and get much thicker skin. People will be judging everything you do with a baby anyway and if your mother is this batshit crazy, she'll have all sorts of awful opinions you haven't even heard yet.

Tell her in KG. That'll perplex her. She sounds really hard work.

Your mum sounds ridiculous. One of mine was 10lb 13lbs!

I think you tell her, but at the first negative comment you nip it in the bud immediately and say that it's rude and damaging to talk negatively about people's weight, and that starts with babies. Otherwise I can see this being an issue as your little one grows up too.