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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to announce my baby’s weight

267 replies

TeaAndToys · 16/02/2025 14:12

I know I might be a bit PFB here but I’m feeling like I don’t want to share my baby’s weight when she’s born. My mum is really fixated on babies' weights, and it tends to get uncomfortable when babies weigh over about 6lbs. She’ll bring it up constantly even when it’s unprompted. For example, a school friend of mine recently had a baby who weighed 7lb 3oz and my mum has mentioned how "huge" he is at least four times, despite me pointing out that he’s perfectly average. It drives me mad, especially since my mum has only seen the Mum once in the last 20 years and is probably never going to meet the baby! But she keeps focusing on it. I can’t quite put my finger on exactly why, but the comments always come off as a negative or judgmental, like it’s somehow a bad thing if babies aren’t tiny. So with my baby I’m seriously considering not telling anyone her weight at all to avoid those kinds of comments. Has anyone else felt the same or done something similar?

OP posts:
Nsky62 · 18/02/2025 02:11

applemelons · 16/02/2025 14:34

That’s really weird of your mother, I’d probably tell her the weight and then ask her why she’s being so weird about it if she commented. I was a whopping great 10lb baby and ended up being a very petite framed 5”2 adult also, it’s hardly an indication of future size and as long as the baby is healthy, what on earth does it matter!

I was 10 lb 14, average 62. 5’2” luckily not obese as older, no 3 baby, out of 4

Harmonypus · 18/02/2025 02:29

I totally agree with @Annonymiss123 , my son was 3 weeks early and 10lb 14oz, so he's be considered to be a baby elephant according to the OP's mum.

There's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of where baby weights are concerned, and in my partner's daughter's opinion, bigger babies tend to be healthier, and she's a midwife.

HelloVeraPlant · 18/02/2025 03:05

It’s just another thing to talk about. Maybe you just find your mums tone annoying and irritating. I say that because my mum is similar - I can’t tell if she is positive or negative but she definitely loves a good gossip story.

The same way we will say wow lots of hairs or aww they are bald.
They have big eyes! What tiny eyes
Oh your baby was big! Awww how tiny!
Wow what a pair of lungs! Aww so peaceful and quiet
God he/she moves a lot! He/she is so calm and lives to be held

You get the drift - there is always a comment with newborns

3tumsnot1 · 18/02/2025 03:38

I think you should just make it up. Go for a 6.5lbs that will keep her quiet and you don’t have to speak or think about it again. You have enough on your plate. she will enjoy looking at her small grandchild…. Will be funny if the baby is 10lbs as she won’t be able to tell, they will still be tiny - and you will have the last laugh, hurrah.

abs12 · 18/02/2025 05:31

She sounds bonkers. I thought any baby under 7lb was small. Go figure.

DetectiveSleuth · 18/02/2025 05:35

🥱 🥱 Do what you want.

Miyagi99 · 18/02/2025 06:17

m00rfarm · 16/02/2025 14:20

No one is really interested. It is just something people ask so that they SEEM interested. If it is heavier, people may say wow - but honestly - no one actually cares. I mean - what else is there to ask if someone tells you already it is either a boy or a girl? You will seem really strange to people if you don't tell them - just make something up if you don't want the real weight known.

Edited

Yes, I’ve never understood people asking about weight! Sex, yes, name yes, weight meh.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 18/02/2025 06:40

Obviously it was relevant a hundred years ago, when survival might be related to weight, but not now. Back then, a good weight was reassuring. Now it's just a thing people still ask, but nobody cares.

Willyoujust · 18/02/2025 07:17

TeaAndToys · 16/02/2025 14:12

I know I might be a bit PFB here but I’m feeling like I don’t want to share my baby’s weight when she’s born. My mum is really fixated on babies' weights, and it tends to get uncomfortable when babies weigh over about 6lbs. She’ll bring it up constantly even when it’s unprompted. For example, a school friend of mine recently had a baby who weighed 7lb 3oz and my mum has mentioned how "huge" he is at least four times, despite me pointing out that he’s perfectly average. It drives me mad, especially since my mum has only seen the Mum once in the last 20 years and is probably never going to meet the baby! But she keeps focusing on it. I can’t quite put my finger on exactly why, but the comments always come off as a negative or judgmental, like it’s somehow a bad thing if babies aren’t tiny. So with my baby I’m seriously considering not telling anyone her weight at all to avoid those kinds of comments. Has anyone else felt the same or done something similar?

I wonder what your mum would make of my baby! They were 9lbs! And I am 5 foot 3 and was a size 8! Yes they did get stuck 😂😂😂

treacletoffee23 · 18/02/2025 09:55

I had a 9:1/2 little porker, with Beyoncé’s thighs - it has had no reflection on her size or height
Has your mom got eating issues

PersephoneSmith · 18/02/2025 10:16

Sunnydiary · 16/02/2025 14:59

I believe the average weight for newborns is 7 pounds 13 oz, so just shy of 8 pounds.

However, I recognise your mother’s behaviour as mine was the same. Fixated on babies being 6 pounds.

When mine were born and she commented, I just said “well I wasn’t stifling my babies growth with cigarettes like you did when you were pregnant mum”

That shut her up.

Didn’t women smoke during pregnancy to actually try to have smaller babies? Pretty sure my mum did.

My mum was of the same opinion - small dainty baby= somehow virtuous.

I think I was 7lb something. Mum used to say I was like a baby whale.

LunaNorth · 18/02/2025 10:28

I’ve no patience at all with this sort of thing. It’s absolutely rife. A friend of mine actually noticed the heart rate monitor on my Fitbit when we were out dancing the other week and ‘jokingly’ shamed me for it. She got short shrift.

I know it’s not their fault, but I call it out every time. So, I’d tell her the weight, and if she says anything negative I’d hold my hand up and say,

”Woah. Can I stop you there? Are you actually trying to body shame me via my newborn? What the hell is wrong with you?”

Every single time.

angela1952 · 18/02/2025 17:27

Annonymiss123 · 16/02/2025 14:14

I’d love to hear what she’d have to say about my 10lb 3oz bundle of joy!

My last DD was this size too!

SapphireSeptember · 20/02/2025 17:14

My baby was 11lbs! If anyone had harped on about his weight in a disagreeable fashion I'd have told them off. (I was immensely proud, although it was a bit of a shock when he came out!)

@McGregor33 That is tiny. Hope your little one is doing well now. 💐

McGregor33 · 20/02/2025 19:21

SapphireSeptember · 20/02/2025 17:14

My baby was 11lbs! If anyone had harped on about his weight in a disagreeable fashion I'd have told them off. (I was immensely proud, although it was a bit of a shock when he came out!)

@McGregor33 That is tiny. Hope your little one is doing well now. 💐

She’s doing as well as we can hope, she is tiny but fierce xxxx

SapphireSeptember · 20/02/2025 20:47

McGregor33 · 20/02/2025 19:21

She’s doing as well as we can hope, she is tiny but fierce xxxx

Show quote history

Best of luck to you and her! ❤️

Sillysoggysheep · 22/02/2025 12:18

My son was born by elected c section around his due date and was 8ib 14oz. He is now an adult at 6' 4" tall with size 12 feet and a very healthy weight. Imagine how big he would have been if they let him go an extra fortnight like his sister did!

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