to not want to announce my baby’s weight

[TeaAndToys]

I know I might be a bit PFB here but I’m feeling like I don’t want to share my baby’s weight when she’s born. My mum is really fixated on babies' weights, and it tends to get uncomfortable when babies weigh over about 6lbs. She’ll bring it up constantly even when it’s unprompted. For example, a school friend of mine recently had a baby who weighed 7lb 3oz and my mum has mentioned how "huge" he is at least four times, despite me pointing out that he’s perfectly average. It drives me mad, especially since my mum has only seen the Mum once in the last 20 years and is probably never going to meet the baby! But she keeps focusing on it. I can’t quite put my finger on exactly why, but the comments always come off as a negative or judgmental, like it’s somehow a bad thing if babies aren’t tiny. So with my baby I’m seriously considering not telling anyone her weight at all to avoid those kinds of comments. Has anyone else felt the same or done something similar?

Wow my boy was 10lbs 5ozs! Luckily he came out of the sunroof 🤣

Take the piss. Ask her what she thinks the ideal weight should be and tell her you’ll try your best to get it bang on that but cant make any promises

A 6lb baby is on the 3rd percentile and borderline low birth weight. I know because I had one.

The next one was 7lbs and when she came out the first words I heard were, "That's not a big baby."

Your mother is bonkers.

Just make up whatever random weight you think will shut her up.

I can only think your mum had small babies and thinks that's a reflection of her being petite or not eating too much while she was pregnant - obviously not accurate but I can't think of any other reason why she would think a 6lb baby is something to basically show off about and bring up all the time. I'm sure she must aware that the average is much bigger than that! And I would definitely be feeling the same about not wanting to tell her, but I imagine she will keep asking or just tell you that the baby feels really heavy when she holds it!

I think rather than hiding the wejght(which will make it into a bigger thing) I would shut down any comments she tries to make.
It’s weird of her though, in my experience people love to see a chunky baby, it’s seen as a sign of them thriving.

Yes I was going to say that
In great scheme of things it makes no difference
My tiny 5lb14oz baby born at 41 weeks no idea why he ws so small is a big hulking 18 year old who never stops eating.

Mine were tiny, as in had to get smaller clothes for dd1, and still over 6lb (just)

Just don't mention it. I honestly can't remember the last time I saw a birth announcement that included the baby's weight.

Is she generally preoccupied with people's weight and what they eat? I would just tell her it's rude and irritating to keep banging on about weight, so knock it off or we're going home.

Give her the reading in metric!
Or say, yes, she is 15lbs!

Exactly this. She was very slim when she was younger and constantly brings up how little weight she gained during pregnancy, how she barely showed, and how she was back in her size 6 jeans the day after giving birth. It feels like a stark contrast to me, especially since I’ve gained more weight during my pregnancy and have a noticeable bump. Being around her feels like stepping right back into the 90s diet culture, something I’ve really tried to move past and let go of. Her fixation on baby size seems like an extension of that mindset - small = good, dainty, and virtuous.

Average baby is around 8 lbs

Just tell her to give it a rest?

If she's that obsessed she will ask you non stop.
I'd just make up a figure, let's say 5 lb 8 oz.

Absolute madness, isn't it: negatively judging a baby for supposedly being overweight (though actually below average weight), even before they've had their very first meal?!

I'd be very concerned about somebody - of grandparent age even - who would see a newborn baby as 'competition' in the 'look how well I make good life choices' stakes. I would wonder what their own life was lacking.

I agree with all the others about baby weight having no relevance to adult sizes. My two middle children were born the same weight….one is 17, long arms and legs and 5ft 11 and fairly slim, the other is 15, short legs, 6 ft and still growing and built like a brick shithouse.

What an odd thing to be fixated on!

Regardless of whether you tell her the weight or not she’ll be able to tell whether you’ve had a 6lb baby or an 8lb baby, surely? My 6lb’ers (both born early, hence low weight) were tiny compared with the rest of my NCT groups who had more average weighted babies (around 8lbs). Plus I assume she’ll be holding your baby at some point?

Did you tell her that 7lb 3oz is absolutely not huge but an average weight for a full term baby? Where does she get her weird ideas about babies' weight from?

Make light of her fixation.
It is normal to share the weight of your child. Don't you also become worried like your mother.

Buy your Mum a T-shirt from the baby printed...
Granny to 8lb 10oz bonnie babe.

Or matching T-shirts:
For grandmother..,
Granny's weight 160lb
For baby...
Baby's weight 8lb 3oz

Not in a very blunt "Mum, why do you keep going on about friend's baby's weight?", but I have pointed out that friend's baby's weight is perfectly normal, the conversation gets dropped, she brings it up again and I'll say something like "you said before, he's an average weight baby" and then it will get dropped again and the cycle repeats.

That is such a toxic mind set. It's nearly as bad as some mums who used to smoke during pregnancy so that they would have smaller babies and therefore easier births.

Sounds like its time for exactly that blunt response then.

Sorry you're having to deal with this OP.
Keeping it a secret isn't great.

Maybe say before the birth that she's not to keep bringing it up.

If she does, say, see, this is why I told you the wrong weight! Only you'll know it was correct but will shut her up.

So your mother's preferred ideal is to have underweight babies being born and "fat"-shames newborns as soon as they come out of the uterus?

I'm guessing the pride and joy of your mum's life is her being petite and feminine. Pathetic.