to not want to announce my baby’s weight

[TeaAndToys]

I know I might be a bit PFB here but I’m feeling like I don’t want to share my baby’s weight when she’s born. My mum is really fixated on babies' weights, and it tends to get uncomfortable when babies weigh over about 6lbs. She’ll bring it up constantly even when it’s unprompted. For example, a school friend of mine recently had a baby who weighed 7lb 3oz and my mum has mentioned how "huge" he is at least four times, despite me pointing out that he’s perfectly average. It drives me mad, especially since my mum has only seen the Mum once in the last 20 years and is probably never going to meet the baby! But she keeps focusing on it. I can’t quite put my finger on exactly why, but the comments always come off as a negative or judgmental, like it’s somehow a bad thing if babies aren’t tiny. So with my baby I’m seriously considering not telling anyone her weight at all to avoid those kinds of comments. Has anyone else felt the same or done something similar?

Or my 10lb 11oz 😂

Ask her bluntly. Tell her how odd and offputting it is. Be direct.

In general, this isn’t something anyone cares about. However, there’s clearly an issue to be tackled with your mum. So, tackle it.

Does she think that the baby weight correlates to later in life in any way? My 8yo DS was 10lb11oz and is now tall for his age but pretty slender. It’s hardly as if the baby has gorged on McDonald’s is it?! I’m confused what she thinks a baby’s weight actually means?

No that's not big at all. It also depends on the length of baby, shoulder width, size of head etc.

You can get small chunky babies and long narrow babies if that makes sense. One of mine was really long and thin, but close to 8 pounds (2 weeks over due), felt no different than my 6pound 6 baby.

Dm is the opposite. She thinks 8 pound plus is a healthy size, anything less than you haven't eaten enough through pregnancy 😡

I really don't understand the obsession on weight, and questions on what kind of birth that go with it. I just want to hear baby's name!

Your mum is being ridiculous 😂

FWIW my son was 9lb 6oz at birth - he is now 11, perfectly healthy and just tall and skinny.

6 lbs is puny! {unless the mother and father are very short}

8 lbs is a good weight for a first baby.

Tell her in Grammes or even better, milligrammes!

An 8 lb baby is 3628.74 g

My youngest was 6lb 14 & she was wearing tiny baby clothes for a while.

Dont hide anything that you would ordinarily share just for your mums sake! Her behaviour is not normal. If she keeps going on, shove one of your pregnancy books at her, open at the correct page. Or waft the “red book” at her. 6lb is below average weight. Low birthweight may happen naturally or with an early delivery but most babies are way over 7lb (and the rest)! In the 2020’s we have good nutrition and medical care and average babies weights have increased over time. Small babies can be a worry , especially if they take a while to regain birthweight.
When you tell friends DC weight, you can always round up or down, e.g 6lb , 7lb.
Where will your mum mum stop? Will she comment on DC size and how much they eat throughout their childhood. If so it needs stamping out and fast. My babies were 6 14lb and 7 11lb, both of them at one point were gloriously chunky monkeys (75-95th percentile and exclusively breast fed). They had chubby cheeks and cankles and whatever the wrist equivalent is? 🥰 They are both now slim healthy teens. Baby chubbiness disappeared for both of them within six months of each starting nursery and getting the usual share of tummy bugs and colds. It was great not worrying that they were underweight when they were off food /milk for a few days.

Had an 11lb 7oz behemoth here, I couldn't care a jot what people thought about the weight! I understand your mum has a skewed/unhealthy perspective but once baby is here I'm sure it'll be the last thing you think about

I believe the average weight for newborns is 7 pounds 13 oz, so just shy of 8 pounds.

However, I recognise your mother’s behaviour as mine was the same. Fixated on babies being 6 pounds.

When mine were born and she commented, I just said “well I wasn’t stifling my babies growth with cigarettes like you did when you were pregnant mum”

That shut her up.

If she's that obsessive just give her an outrageous birth rate and say she was 22lb and stick to it.

My in-laws think any baby born under weighing 10lbs is absolutely tiny!

Becoming like my mother on this is my worst nightmare. I ended up with an ED in my 20s and I don't want the same for my daughter.

I've always had the impression that a higher birth weight was more "desirable" (although obviously it would be horrible and stupid to judge the baby or mother based on it, and it's a weird thing to be competitive about)

Maybe she feels insecure about her own smaller babies and so has gone on the offensive about everyone else's?

She needs to stop her comments though.

A chap we knew {very tall and muscular} had been Southmead Hospital's Heaviest Baby at 16 lbs. He came from tall healthy parents .

He wasn't a first baby, and he was born naturally {Don't think they did routine caesarians when he was born {1960's}..His poor mum!

The chap was not remotely fat, just long boned and tall.

My poor 4'11" nan managed to push out my nearly 11 lb uncle back in 1938, no forceps or anything. I certainly don't envy her! My own three weighed 6 lb 2 oz, 7 lb 15oz and 7 lb. My 7 lb baby seemed teeny to me, so goodness knows why anyone would think that "big". Very weird. 😕

I disagree very much with the idea that people don't care about the weight. They don't care about the length. The weight is a huge indicator of how the baby is (average is good!) and it matters also for clothes.

But that doesn't mean you're obliged to tell your weird mother.

I don't think people are judging the baby or mum for weight. It's more a sympathy for the mum passing a large baby during labour.

In a practical sense everyone asks because there is not much else to talk about, name, sex, weight.

So unless you are prepared to say "we aren't revealing weight" and look very precious. Or "my mum is weird about baby weights so we are keeping it quiet" is a bit of an over share.

I can understand not telling your mum, but realistically think it is unavoidable not to mention.

Being a fairly big baby helped my eldest son a huge amount. He weighed 8 Ib 11 oz at birth. After four operations and six weeks on a ventilator he weighed 6 Ib 2 oz. I am so very grateful that he was not a 6 Ib baby as he would have been in a much more difficult position.

I felt very proud of my babies' birth weights. I think it was just an extension of being proud of them. The actual weight was irrelevant. I thought they were the best, most beautiful things in the world. I still do, but they are in secondary school age now.

Ask her to guess. Then say, ‘spot on!’

Announce it in carats. That’ll fox her

I can imagine my mum doing similar, OP. Honestly, I would just say 6lb and stick to it.

For all the people who have said that size at birth doesn't correlate to adult size, my mum should know that well. Her little 5lb 1oz baby grew into a big framed 5'10 woman!

People might assume there is a problem, @TeaAndToys if you don't tell.

Like the really tiny premature babies no bigger than the palm of a man's 🖐️ hand.

Tell people and be proud!