Page 3 | Asking guests to travel for a no party wedding?

Savemefromwetdog · 16/02/2025 05:25

I wouldn’t consider this a lot of travel - fairly normal commute time in the SE.

Sounds absolutely fine to me

Samsonshairdresser · 16/02/2025 05:39

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5275319-wedding-lunacy

have a look at this thread? Is it from your other half???

TimeForATerf · 16/02/2025 05:39

The hour plus 30 minutes to the venue is fine. Why do they have to stay overnight?

One of us would drive. Sounds like a perfect wedding with no evening reception, IMO the evening dancing is the shit part, I’ve had enough by then.

DisforDarkChocolate · 16/02/2025 05:49

Lack of dancing would be perfect for me. We had an early evening meal in a nice pub and people stayed for a few hours after we left (we'd put a bus on for most of the guests). No one complained about the lack of dancing.

skilpadde · 16/02/2025 06:04

I think this is fine, so long as the couple are upfront about the arrangements with invitees, and nobody inadvertently books a hotel for it in anticipation of a big drunken night.

Pollymollydolly · 16/02/2025 06:09

mondaytosunday · 16/02/2025 05:18

Weddings go on hug far too long in this country. The ceremony, a few drinks and a meal is plenty.

Really?! I’ve always been surprised at how early British weddings end, every one I’ve attended has ended at midnight.

farmlife2 · 16/02/2025 06:11

That's not even 'travel' and yes, I'd go to one. It sounds more like an intimate affair for people you're very close to? I think it's a great idea to do a simple wedding then out for dinner.

OneTwinklyPlumBeaker · 16/02/2025 06:14

I think that sounds perfect. I can't see the problem. If the wedding is only an hour away what is the need for an overnight stay?

TriangleLight · 16/02/2025 06:17

I think it’s a bit rubbish as people won’t be able to drink so it could be a bit muted and everyone off sharp

farmlife2 · 16/02/2025 06:28

TriangleLight · 16/02/2025 06:17

I think it’s a bit rubbish as people won’t be able to drink so it could be a bit muted and everyone off sharp

If you need alcohol to have a good time, the event is wanting. You can have a great time without having to booze.

SALaw · 16/02/2025 06:34

This is totally fine. The meal and socialising ARE the party. I thought you were going to say it was ceremony only. I have attended a wedding like this and it was lovely.

Cctviswatchingme001 · 16/02/2025 06:41

I was a witness at a close family members wedding. It was the bride and groom, their two children and two witnesses. Ceremony was ten minutes and then we went for a meal. I was home by 5pm, it was great.

Personally I'm not a fan of big weddings so the wedding above would be ideal for me. Short, commute, dinner and home. No overnight stay perfect.

JustMyView13 · 16/02/2025 06:41

This sounds like the type of intimate wedding only close family and friends would be invited to. If I was close in relation or friend, then absolutely. If this was more an acquaintance then probably not.
I don’t go to weddings to be entertained, I go to celebrate the bride and groom on their special day.

muddyford · 16/02/2025 06:41

This is how weddings used to be. Ceremony, meal, off. Sounds brilliant to me.

MissTrip82 · 16/02/2025 06:45

Oh. Never occurred to me this was a problem. We had a lovely restaurant dinner but no DJ or anything like that. To me it’s an ideal wedding!

Calamitousness · 16/02/2025 06:48

Sounds lovely. I’d go. Absolutely no problem with small distances involved. I wouldn’t mind and would be happy to stay overnight too.

Graniteisaverygoodsurface · 16/02/2025 06:50

My friends did similar for their wedding because she is very introverted and wouldn’t enjoy a disco. The meal is the expensive bit and, in my opinion, the “main” bit after the actual marriage ceremony of course. I think it will be fine.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 16/02/2025 06:57

Against the grain...

The wedding is a registry office ceremony, roughly an hours travel time, then ceremony, more travel time of say 20/30 minutes to venue, then very basic reception. A meal and socialising?

I would hate this but not because there was no dancing.
2 ceremonies and 3 venues all spaced apart with 90 mins travel is just really poor logistics and inconsiderate to guests especially older/less mobile ones.
I also think if you need 2 nights accommodation to attend then the day itself was thoughtlessly/ poorly planned. 90 mins travel, 2 cermonies and a meal can be done comfortably in 6 - 8 hours.

I wouldnt plan a party like this as i think its inconsiderate (sorry!) and while i might attend under sufferance i wouldnt be clicking my heels with joy.

If you are organising I'd it cut the registry office for anyone but "core guests" and ensure its a decent meal and, if not an open bar at least provide a drink or 2 post meal.

If you are attending i guess you just need to stuck it up and be prepared for a day of travel!

We had our wedding party in a restaurant btw and just stuck a spotify playlist on in the background for the evening.
There was no real dancing per se but people were very complimentary about the wedding.

Simplelobsterhat · 16/02/2025 06:57

Sounds lovely to me, as long as they are clear with with guests what to expect. I've been to a couple where it's just been ceremony and afternoon tea in church hall afterwards (both v religious, so the church was the important bit to them, and neither big party people) and everyone I spoke to agreed it was lovely and nice to be getting home at a reasonable time. One of them I'd travelled a similar amount. I know this isn't religious, but I don't see difference from guests point of view.

Two things I am unclear on - why would they NEED overnight accomodation? Surely its close enough and will finish early enough that they can drive back if they want? Particularly as it's not as hard to avoid drinking if it's not a big boozy party. Or is it a very late in the day wedding?

Also, is there a reason the reception venue is so far from the registry office?

But generally, no that sound lovely to me. And people don't have to come if they don't want to!

Simplelobsterhat · 16/02/2025 06:59

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 16/02/2025 06:57

Against the grain...

The wedding is a registry office ceremony, roughly an hours travel time, then ceremony, more travel time of say 20/30 minutes to venue, then very basic reception. A meal and socialising?

I would hate this but not because there was no dancing.
2 ceremonies and 3 venues all spaced apart with 90 mins travel is just really poor logistics and inconsiderate to guests especially older/less mobile ones.
I also think if you need 2 nights accommodation to attend then the day itself was thoughtlessly/ poorly planned. 90 mins travel, 2 cermonies and a meal can be done comfortably in 6 - 8 hours.

I wouldnt plan a party like this as i think its inconsiderate (sorry!) and while i might attend under sufferance i wouldnt be clicking my heels with joy.

If you are organising I'd it cut the registry office for anyone but "core guests" and ensure its a decent meal and, if not an open bar at least provide a drink or 2 post meal.

If you are attending i guess you just need to stuck it up and be prepared for a day of travel!

We had our wedding party in a restaurant btw and just stuck a spotify playlist on in the background for the evening.
There was no real dancing per se but people were very complimentary about the wedding.

Edited

I'm confused. Isn't it 1 ceremony and 2 venues?

SheridansPortSalut · 16/02/2025 06:59

By 'no party' I thought that you meant to go home straight after the ceremony. Once the guests are fed then all is well. I think I'd actually prefer no band or dancing.

I wouldn't invite people to travel and then not feed them.

SuziQuinto · 16/02/2025 06:59

It sounds perfect to me! This is what weddings used to be like when people had a modest budget. Ceremony, a meal and socialising, then everyone sees off the brude and groom on honeymoon.
Perfect!

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 16/02/2025 07:02

Fencehedge · 16/02/2025 00:26

I hate dancing and drunken weddings that go on and on all day and night.

I think this sounds perfect and not unreasonable at all.

Anyone having a problem with attending a meal and register office is an arsehole anyway.

Edited

It sounds the perfect wedding (from a guest perspective). I thought this was going to have been a destination wedding in the Bahamas or something!

DappledThings · 16/02/2025 07:06

2 ceremonies and 3 venues all spaced apart with 90 mins travel is just really poor logistics and inconsiderate to guests especially older/less mobile ones.
It's 1 ceremony and 2 venues. The hour to the ceremony is hardly any time, less than people travel to work regularly and will vary depending on where people are. 20-30 minutes from ceremony to reception is really standard. Not everyone wants a wedding in a hotel where it's all in the same place. Moving between church/register office and somewhere for the meal is really normal.

OP this sounds like a completely normal perfectly nice wedding with entirely reasonable travel.

FreddoSwaggins · 16/02/2025 07:06

Who is paying for the meal? What's does the socialising consist of? Who is invited?

My answer would depend on that.