Asking guests to travel for a no party wedding?

[inspector80]

I do wonder if exposing whether I am the guest or bride will change the responses so... I won't just yet.

Asking guests to travel to a wedding, and realistically stay overnight for a no-party wedding, too much?

The wedding is a registry office ceremony, roughly an hours travel time, then ceremony, more travel time of say 20/30 minutes to venue, then very basic reception. A meal and socialising? No entertainment or dj etc after dinner so therefore no dancing.

Should the couple have just had s small family only wedding because of this or guests shouldn't judge what the couple choose to do for their wedding?

I really wouldn't call an hour's drive "travel".
I think it's fine. Maybe state that there is not after party, but there's a meal.
This shouldn't be an issue.

Why odd? Perhaps the couple are on a tight budget! It’s about the couple getting married not the reception! When I got married I church, reception no music or evening do! Everyone said it was the best wedding they’d been to as they could actually socialise!

I agree. I'd be baffled by an invitation like that. It isn't a long way, lots of weddings are hours away so it makes no sense. I'd worry it meant they were inviting me out of politeness but actually trying to put me off coming.

Id travel an hour to meet a friend for dinner. The wedding would be a bonus.
It sounds like an appropriate and traditional wedding.

I know! ☺️

Where are you @inspector80 ? Fess up, are you the bride or the disgruntled guest?

Sounds fine to me. An hour is nothing. That’s not travel. That’s a bit of a drive.

Will there be speeches? Where is the meal? A privately hired space, or a restaurant? How many guests?
It doesn't matter I suppose, but just trying to judge the sense of "occasion" we're talking about here! Rightly or wrongly, a nice meal in a pub or hotel, speeches and socialising with a nice group of people would be more appealing than a cold buffet in a church hall with not many people or atmosphere. The lack of music and late night party itself would be fine.

This. For a wedding and lunch with people I liked ( and meeting new people) I'd be perfectly happy to travel that far . I've had enough by the time you get to the dancing part of weddings.

I do not believe this OP! The whole point of a wedding is the ceremony - if I love someone, that is the bit I want to attend. For most of us, the "party" bit is irrelevant and pretty boring.
A ceremony, followed by a meal, is exactly what we all had back in the 80s/90s, and people travelled very long distances to attend. What has happened to the world that someone's actual marriage is now considered so unimportant?

Dancing is the worst part of a wedding. Fucking hate shouting over shit music whilst everyone gets pissed and 5 people actually bother to dance.

I would clearly state it's drinks and a meal so people can decide whether to book a hotel or not, I would just not drink myself for an hours drive

Exactly this. The last wedding I went to was lovely, but I completely missed all of the dancing because I was sat outside talking to an old friend going through a rough time. That connection with someone was far more important.

Not specific to your wedding but I often find that the MN demographic has very different views to my real world.

If you want to say a large workplace full of younger and/or less middle class people they are very possibly going to find a wedding no evening do unusual and maybe not so keen to go

It totally depends on who the guests are, it's not a one size fits all answer

Thinking that an hour is a long travel time is a surprise to me though, that's no time at all

Sounds great, as long as you are feeding them I don't see the issue. We had a wedding reception then said we would be in the pub later if anybody wanted to join us ... unintended but it did end up as a party, just a very small one.

Yep! Not everyone enjoys the evening part -I am generally bored and tired by then.

Absolutely guests shouldn’t judge. It’s up to the couple what they do. And if people do judge that separates them from friends to people you happen to know.
One query though, it doesn’t seem to me like an overnight stay is necessary as the place is not that far away. But if the idea is having breakfast together etc in the morning I can see why it might be nice.

I think it's absolutely fine. Many of the weddings I went to years ago were like this, including my own. Evening receptions are a relatively new development. In the old days, the bride and groom used to get changed into their "going away" clothes and leave the reception before everyone else.

It was less common for guests to stay overnight in those days, presumably as people didn't have the money to do so. I used to travel much more than an hour each more to get to weddings without staying the night.

Presumably that's wny OP suggests they stay overnight.

I'd be very happy to go to that wedding. I don't like dancing that much, so for most weddings I'm sitting around for ages watching other people dance and wondering when I can leave.

Sounds like a perfect wedding

Sounds fine to me.
We went to something similar but it was a city centre so travelled by train but if one of us had had to drive it wouldn't have been an issue

Pity that you can't have the meal much closer to the register office. Half an hour away is quite an expensive taxi fare for those without their own transport or who'd like to have a drink to celebrate.

I've been invited to a wedding in September. People will be coming from all over the place and it's been designed so that we can walk from the station to the church and from the church to the (very nice) pub for the reception.

Sounds like a perfect wedding to me!

I think as long as the bride and groom are clear on what the plan is then people can decide whether to go or not.

TBH, it sounds nice and low key. I would love to attend this sort of thing.

I am guessing if all the guests are ravers they might be underwhelmed but then they can make a choice to attend or not.