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Original poster

Asking guests to travel for a no party wedding?

263 replies

inspector80 · 16/02/2025 00:07

I do wonder if exposing whether I am the guest or bride will change the responses so... I won't just yet.

Asking guests to travel to a wedding, and realistically stay overnight for a no-party wedding, too much?

The wedding is a registry office ceremony, roughly an hours travel time, then ceremony, more travel time of say 20/30 minutes to venue, then very basic reception. A meal and socialising? No entertainment or dj etc after dinner so therefore no dancing.

Should the couple have just had s small family only wedding because of this or guests shouldn't judge what the couple choose to do for their wedding?

OP posts:
HerbieFluffyDumpling · 16/02/2025 00:58

I'd definitely travel for a no party wedding. A meal and socialising sounds absolutely perfect. I'd much prefer this to a DJ, dancing and entertainment...if you can call it that! I wish more people would do this, I hate it when you can't chat to people, as the music is too loud.

nocoolnamesleft · 16/02/2025 01:03

Sounds great. Really don't enjoy music too loud to chat, and people trying to force me to dance. A civilised meal is a much nicer celebration.

getahhtmapub · 16/02/2025 01:06

Sounds great. If people want to go o t hey can go to the pub.

I fucken hate wedding evening events. Live drinking a chatting with friends/new people. Hate loud music and the dance police. Especially the god awful ceilidhs that have been at the last few weddings I've been to or some dreadful local band murdering their way through a a selection of wedding hits.

Beebumble2 · 16/02/2025 01:29

Years ago most weddings were like this. A church or registry office ceremony then a meal or buffet at a hotel or church hall. Then the bride and groom were sent off on their Honeymoon. If they were driving the car would have old shoes and tin cans attached to it, and ‘Just Married’ written in lipstick on the boot.

ThinWomansBrain · 16/02/2025 01:34

Lack of dancing sounds like a big plus to me.

RawBloomers · 16/02/2025 01:52

I’ve travelled several hours for similar. Happy to for people I’m close to, wouldn’t bother for someone I wasn’t so close with unless I combined it with something else (like meeting up with old friends, especially if they are also invited).

Different people are going to have different opinions on whether it’s worth it to them, but it’s a decision they can make. It’s not rude to invite them. More people will probably turn down the invite than if it was a bigger event, if you’re the bride and that will upset you, or if you can’t really afford the uncertainty, then keep it small.

RawBloomers · 16/02/2025 01:53

Beebumble2 · 16/02/2025 01:29

Years ago most weddings were like this. A church or registry office ceremony then a meal or buffet at a hotel or church hall. Then the bride and groom were sent off on their Honeymoon. If they were driving the car would have old shoes and tin cans attached to it, and ‘Just Married’ written in lipstick on the boot.

True, but years ago fewer people would be invited who lived outside the local area.

pinkroses79 · 16/02/2025 01:58

I would be very happy to attend a wedding like this. I might not stay but just drive and go home afterwards. I wouldn't miss the loud disco at all, it's hard to speak to people as I can never hear what they're saying.

BlondiePortz · 16/02/2025 02:04

We had a resturant reception but no dancing, dancing is not mandatory

But to me there is nothing wrong with asking anyone anything but I think it is rude to expect anything

So a 'no sorry can't make it' should be fine for any event

TruthThatsHardAsSteel · 16/02/2025 02:37

I'd be more agitated at the moving venues. It feels like the guests comfort etc isn't really being considered. A lot of ballsing about waiting on other people etc.

We chose to keep things close and handy for the guests. Their ease and comfort, possible inconvenience factored very highly in our decisions.

The lack of party as you put it isn't a problem, can take or leave that part.

I do have really bad chronic pain, exhaustion etc, and would very much struggle so that's a view from my blurry eyes.

salemcooper · 16/02/2025 02:39

I thought you were going to say travelling abroad! An hour is nothing, I've travelled further for much less important things. So not at all as far as I'm concerned.

Delphiniumandlupins · 16/02/2025 02:59

RawBloomers · 16/02/2025 01:53

True, but years ago fewer people would be invited who lived outside the local area.

Show quote history

40 or so years ago most weddings in England consisted of a ceremony and meal. Guests might go on to a pub afterwards but often the bride and groom had left. I went to several where I had overnight stays. Scottish weddings had dancing as standard. Don't know about Irish or Welsh.

Myotherusernameiswaybetter · 16/02/2025 03:01

That sounds like a lovely wedding. An hour is fine to travel.

LittleBigHead · 16/02/2025 03:50

That sounds like a pretty normal wedding to me. The important thing is witnessing the marriage and celebrating it with people you love.

Invite whom you wish and it’s up to them if they want to attend. If you were family or friend of mine, I’d attend if I were able to.

HideousKinky · 16/02/2025 04:03

I'd be happy to attend a wedding like that - so often they are tediously over-long

countrygirl99 · 16/02/2025 04:05

It's hardly travel. A lot of people have a daily commute that long.

RedPlums · 16/02/2025 04:09

I suspect you’re the bride because this sounds perfect. People are so f ing grabby though I’m sure there will be complainers.

FarmGirl78 · 16/02/2025 04:29

Hooray for people who have weddings like this. I absolutely hate events were ⅔ of the guests are sat round the edges of a dark room trying to make conversation by shouting over music that only ⅓ has any interest in.

RawBloomers · 16/02/2025 04:35

Delphiniumandlupins · 16/02/2025 02:59

40 or so years ago most weddings in England consisted of a ceremony and meal. Guests might go on to a pub afterwards but often the bride and groom had left. I went to several where I had overnight stays. Scottish weddings had dancing as standard. Don't know about Irish or Welsh.

Show quote history

I was thinking a bit longer ago than that. In the 80s every wedding I went to (and they were all in England) had dancing after the wedding breakfast. Maybe that was more about local tradition? Or because they were all in their early/mid 20s?

But my point was, despite the fact some guests did travel, people still had way fewer acquaintances to invite who didn’t live locally.

Bournetilly · 16/02/2025 04:37

An hour isn’t far and it includes a meal / socialising. I think it’s fine.

Zanatdy · 16/02/2025 04:57

It would suit me as approaching 50, I like to be in bed early these days!

renthead · 16/02/2025 04:59

I'd honestly prefer this! The dancing is usually my least favourite part of a wedding. And an hour's drive is really no distance at all.

ThisFluentBiscuit · 16/02/2025 05:12

cinnamonbunfight · 16/02/2025 00:10

But it includes a meal and socialising! The thread title made it sound like it was only the ceremony. This sounds fine to me. Presumably nobody’s forcing the guests to come if they don’t want to.

Agree.

mondaytosunday · 16/02/2025 05:18

Weddings go on hug far too long in this country. The ceremony, a few drinks and a meal is plenty.

mondaytosunday · 16/02/2025 05:19

Go on for far too long obviously 🤦🏻