Asking guests to travel for a no party wedding?

[inspector80]

I do wonder if exposing whether I am the guest or bride will change the responses so... I won't just yet.

Asking guests to travel to a wedding, and realistically stay overnight for a no-party wedding, too much?

The wedding is a registry office ceremony, roughly an hours travel time, then ceremony, more travel time of say 20/30 minutes to venue, then very basic reception. A meal and socialising? No entertainment or dj etc after dinner so therefore no dancing.

Should the couple have just had s small family only wedding because of this or guests shouldn't judge what the couple choose to do for their wedding?

The only thing that would bother me was the additional travelling after the first portion. 5 minutes fine, but 20-30 minutes to the reception after the ceremony is a bit much IMO.
The type of reception sounds nice.

I think it’s fine, as long as couple is paying for the meal.

If it's basically family and close friends who might not get together very often then an intimate reception sounds lovely - why would they need entertainment if they want to catch-up with people they haven't seen for some time.

Registry office to venue - 20 - 30 minutes travel = unreasonable

No dancing after wedding meal = reasonable

Reasonable to me. Just be prepared for polite declines.

I don't see why that would be an issue. If you are staying overnight it gives you a chance to enjoy your accommodation which you usually don't get any time to do at a traditional wedding. I would be happy to go to a wedding like that.

And it's about seeing your friend/relative getting married at the end of the day so it's their choice/budget what they do when it's not very kind to judge that.

It was the norm 30 years ago when I got married. Yes, some people had evening events but personally (unless I was only invited to that part) I found it too much after spending the whole day already in travelling, ceremony and reception. You can overdo a good thing!

Really? Any wedding I've ever been to that hasn't been entirely in a hotel has about that much distance between the church/register office and reception. It's nothing.

We travelled to another country for a wedding like this. We went as wanted to celebrate their day with them however they chose to plan the celebrations.

It was a perfect day and everyone loved it.

This is making me feel better about my own wedding in a few weeks. I thought it might be boring with no disco/band or proper party but seems most people on here are happy with that 😄

Sounds lovely.

A ceremony and get together then I would go home, I wouldn't stay over.

Sounds like a lovely celebration to me!

Depends if the initial hours travel is an hour from B&Gs (and most guests) hometown. Another 20-30 minutes on top feels indulgent. You could be 70-80 miles from home.

I went to a wedding that was service plus meal. It started around 12 and finished about 6pm.

I'd happily go, I'd either drive and go home after or if I wanted a treat stay over and dh and I could have a nice romantic evening together .

I would say the service is the main event of a wedding followed by the meal. The party is not a necessity. I can't see why anyone would have issue with it. People would probably travel that distance for an evening do (say a 50th or anniversary) this is a longer event.

Sounds good to me too.

Our wedding was like this. No need to stay overnight for almost all guests as they lived 90mins or less away.

we travelled further for a similar wedding - church wedding followed by reception in a pub. It was lovely - a nice intimate wedding.

This! Sounds like a great wedding. Dancing is definitely not an essential component to a wedding. There is a reception, just not your preferred type.

I had this wedding in 2023. Very small. My parents travelled from overseas and a handful of friends travelled about 5 hours from the city I used to live in. We had an evening registry office ceremony and then straight to a local hotel (5 minutes walk through a castle grounds!) for a meal and drinks. No entertainment, no dancing. We did an open bar and we had a private function room so it was actually a really lovely catch up! If it’s people truly close to the couple I should imagine they won’t mind or may even view as a plus.

Well I love dancing and weddings are one of the few occasions where I get to do so these days. There's nothing actually wrong with the standard wedding model which ends with a DJ/band for which there's a fair bit of disdain on this thread. I have had some of the best nights of my life at weddings. Having said that, it's not a problem NOT to have it, so long as I know in advance and plan accordingly. I wouldn't be into lots of travel and faffing between ceremony and revenue for any kind of wedding but might be less tolerant if its just a meal and dancelfloors, room size etc aren't a consideration.

I think it’s absolutely fine. They don’t have to come. It is an invite after all. Some might actually be relieved.

An hour roughly of travelling is nothing, it's fine, plus you are offering hospitality in the form of dinner. The party bit really isn't a big thing for many guests, I think most people would appreciate an earlier end time too so they don't need a hotel (if they choose to that's on them)

It's totally fine, sounds lovely in fact. It's up to the guests whether they stay overnight.

If you're the bride and this is what you're planning, go for it.

Sounds perfect wedding! I'd go if it was someone I cared about. A meal and catch up ... perfect

Sounds like a lovely wedding and a gorgeous celebration afterwards. Absolutely no need to have dancing