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Original poster

Asking guests to travel for a no party wedding?

263 replies

inspector80 · 16/02/2025 00:07

I do wonder if exposing whether I am the guest or bride will change the responses so... I won't just yet.

Asking guests to travel to a wedding, and realistically stay overnight for a no-party wedding, too much?

The wedding is a registry office ceremony, roughly an hours travel time, then ceremony, more travel time of say 20/30 minutes to venue, then very basic reception. A meal and socialising? No entertainment or dj etc after dinner so therefore no dancing.

Should the couple have just had s small family only wedding because of this or guests shouldn't judge what the couple choose to do for their wedding?

OP posts:
Flexilexy · 16/02/2025 07:08

The only thing that would bother me was the additional travelling after the first portion. 5 minutes fine, but 20-30 minutes to the reception after the ceremony is a bit much IMO.
The type of reception sounds nice.

Inmydreams88 · 16/02/2025 07:08

I think it’s fine, as long as couple is paying for the meal.

MyDeftDuck · 16/02/2025 07:09

If it's basically family and close friends who might not get together very often then an intimate reception sounds lovely - why would they need entertainment if they want to catch-up with people they haven't seen for some time.

sugarspiceandeverythingnice12 · 16/02/2025 07:10

Registry office to venue - 20 - 30 minutes travel = unreasonable

No dancing after wedding meal = reasonable

LlynTegid · 16/02/2025 07:12

Reasonable to me. Just be prepared for polite declines.

Purpleturtle46 · 16/02/2025 07:15

I don't see why that would be an issue. If you are staying overnight it gives you a chance to enjoy your accommodation which you usually don't get any time to do at a traditional wedding. I would be happy to go to a wedding like that.

And it's about seeing your friend/relative getting married at the end of the day so it's their choice/budget what they do when it's not very kind to judge that.

Onelifeonly · 16/02/2025 07:17

It was the norm 30 years ago when I got married. Yes, some people had evening events but personally (unless I was only invited to that part) I found it too much after spending the whole day already in travelling, ceremony and reception. You can overdo a good thing!

DappledThings · 16/02/2025 07:19

sugarspiceandeverythingnice12 · 16/02/2025 07:10

Registry office to venue - 20 - 30 minutes travel = unreasonable

No dancing after wedding meal = reasonable

Really? Any wedding I've ever been to that hasn't been entirely in a hotel has about that much distance between the church/register office and reception. It's nothing.

HelloDaisy · 16/02/2025 07:19

We travelled to another country for a wedding like this. We went as wanted to celebrate their day with them however they chose to plan the celebrations.

It was a perfect day and everyone loved it.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 16/02/2025 07:20

This is making me feel better about my own wedding in a few weeks. I thought it might be boring with no disco/band or proper party but seems most people on here are happy with that 😄

Thesehills · 16/02/2025 07:23

Sounds lovely.

A ceremony and get together then I would go home, I wouldn't stay over.

Mumof2girls2121 · 16/02/2025 07:24

Sounds like a lovely celebration to me!

Hercisback1 · 16/02/2025 07:25

Depends if the initial hours travel is an hour from B&Gs (and most guests) hometown. Another 20-30 minutes on top feels indulgent. You could be 70-80 miles from home.

discdiscsnap · 16/02/2025 07:29

I went to a wedding that was service plus meal. It started around 12 and finished about 6pm.

I'd happily go, I'd either drive and go home after or if I wanted a treat stay over and dh and I could have a nice romantic evening together .

I would say the service is the main event of a wedding followed by the meal. The party is not a necessity. I can't see why anyone would have issue with it. People would probably travel that distance for an evening do (say a 50th or anniversary) this is a longer event.

Horses7 · 16/02/2025 07:40

Sounds good to me too.

TeenToTwenties · 16/02/2025 07:41

discdiscsnap · 16/02/2025 07:29

I went to a wedding that was service plus meal. It started around 12 and finished about 6pm.

I'd happily go, I'd either drive and go home after or if I wanted a treat stay over and dh and I could have a nice romantic evening together .

I would say the service is the main event of a wedding followed by the meal. The party is not a necessity. I can't see why anyone would have issue with it. People would probably travel that distance for an evening do (say a 50th or anniversary) this is a longer event.

Our wedding was like this. No need to stay overnight for almost all guests as they lived 90mins or less away.

Snowmanscarf · 16/02/2025 07:43

we travelled further for a similar wedding - church wedding followed by reception in a pub. It was lovely - a nice intimate wedding.

Commonsense22 · 16/02/2025 07:46

ErrolTheDragon · 16/02/2025 00:14

Just the reception and socialising is fine. Tbh I (and probably a lot of people) honestly prefer this rather than trying to have conversations over a DJ and loud music.

This! Sounds like a great wedding. Dancing is definitely not an essential component to a wedding. There is a reception, just not your preferred type.

yogpot · 16/02/2025 07:52

I had this wedding in 2023. Very small. My parents travelled from overseas and a handful of friends travelled about 5 hours from the city I used to live in. We had an evening registry office ceremony and then straight to a local hotel (5 minutes walk through a castle grounds!) for a meal and drinks. No entertainment, no dancing. We did an open bar and we had a private function room so it was actually a really lovely catch up! If it’s people truly close to the couple I should imagine they won’t mind or may even view as a plus.

theleafandnotthetree · 16/02/2025 07:52

Well I love dancing and weddings are one of the few occasions where I get to do so these days. There's nothing actually wrong with the standard wedding model which ends with a DJ/band for which there's a fair bit of disdain on this thread. I have had some of the best nights of my life at weddings. Having said that, it's not a problem NOT to have it, so long as I know in advance and plan accordingly. I wouldn't be into lots of travel and faffing between ceremony and revenue for any kind of wedding but might be less tolerant if its just a meal and dancelfloors, room size etc aren't a consideration.

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 16/02/2025 07:53

I think it’s absolutely fine. They don’t have to come. It is an invite after all. Some might actually be relieved.

mitogoshigg · 16/02/2025 07:54

An hour roughly of travelling is nothing, it's fine, plus you are offering hospitality in the form of dinner. The party bit really isn't a big thing for many guests, I think most people would appreciate an earlier end time too so they don't need a hotel (if they choose to that's on them)

Setyoufree · 16/02/2025 07:55

It's totally fine, sounds lovely in fact. It's up to the guests whether they stay overnight.

If you're the bride and this is what you're planning, go for it.

Londonrach1 · 16/02/2025 07:56

Sounds perfect wedding! I'd go if it was someone I cared about. A meal and catch up ... perfect

SamuelWhiskey · 16/02/2025 08:00

Sounds like a lovely wedding and a gorgeous celebration afterwards. Absolutely no need to have dancing