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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you go to a school reunion?

173 replies

SmedSmoo · 15/02/2025 19:50

It's been eight years since the end of school and I'm not in contact with anyone anymore but AIBU for wanting a reunion to catch up/see how people are getting on etc?

OP posts:
PrimitivePerson · 15/02/2025 22:51

My school is massively up it's own arse and has delusions of grandeur, with a hugely active alumni association. Just before we left, we were told we'd be automatically enrolled in it. I caused a stir by putting my hand up and asking what I needed to do to not be enrolled in it, and in 33 years I've happily ignored the hellhole, and everyone associated with it.

Ironically it's a school MN loves, and many parents would happily commit mass murder to get their kids into it.

Bbq1 · 15/02/2025 22:56

I wasn't particularly popular at school but I mostly enjoyed school a lot and had a close friend group (most of whom I am still very close to) It was a large, mixed sex high school .
I certainly wasn't bullied but there were a few unpleasant characters around. I'm 51 and I imagine that reunions would be peopled mainly by those wanting to brag about their perceived or genuine successes. The unpleasant characters would either still be unpleasant (which would be awful) or have grown into mature, decent adults which would also be weird. God, it would overall be a really uncomfortable experience. You choose who to keep in touch with after school.

PenneyFouryourthoughts · 15/02/2025 23:00

No. I think we've all very much moved on from what we were in 1994. It's best to leave the past in the past. I'm not even on Facebook so I have no clue what my old school friends are doing and I'm ok with that.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 15/02/2025 23:03

You only left 8 years ago, seems a bit soon for a reunion! Wait another few years to make it more interesting 🤣

Sassybooklover · 15/02/2025 23:05

I have been invited to a school reunion in May. It's been 34 years since I left school. I have kept in touch with one or two friends but that's it. School wasn't a pleasant experience for me, so I have no desire to go down memory lane. I did think about it, but decided I wasn't that bothered. If I haven't kept in touch with the vast majority for 34 years, it shows I'm not that interested in them! The ones I am bothered about, I keep in touch with! 🤷

MedusaAndHerFavourites · 15/02/2025 23:17

I can't imagine very much that I'd to do less than attend a school reunion.

I've kept in touch with the friends I liked, no need for a second look.

TwoRobins · 15/02/2025 23:19

I would have gone at your age, definitely. I would probably have loved to have gone right up to my early 50s but not after that. I can understand why people wouldn't want to go though.

Diningtableornot · 15/02/2025 23:25

I only went once and it was weird. I wouldn't do it again. The time for those friendships seemed to be over.

steff13 · 15/02/2025 23:27

I don't feel the need to go because all the people I still want to know I'm connected with via social media.

RogueFemale · 15/02/2025 23:30

SmedSmoo · 15/02/2025 19:56

Those saying no, what's your reasons?

I didn't particular get on with lots of people so wouldn't be going in the hopes of rekindling anything but I think it would be nice for old times sake to see how people turned out!

I don't see the point. The only point of going would be if you loved schooldays and all your friends there - but if you had, you'd have kept in touch with them. I did go to a school reunion over 30 years ago, it was just interesting how many women had had nervous breakdowns or whatever. The happy ones didn't come to the reunion.

MrsAvocet · 15/02/2025 23:38

No. I did go to a University reunion once and once we'd got past "So where are you working now?" there was little to talk about except reminiscing about eccentric lecturers really. But everyone there had studied the same degree so we at least had that interest in common. Former schoolmates don't even have that - they're are just people who happened to be born at roughly the same time in roughly the same place as me. I am still in touch with my genuine friends so I don't need a reunion with them, and the rest are of no interest.

MermaidMummy06 · 15/02/2025 23:45

Hell no. The only people who enjoy going are those that are successful & beautiful who want to humble brag. And everyone else going home feeling like failures.

I really don't understand the point of reunions with people I attended classes with many years ago.

FoxtonFoxton · 15/02/2025 23:46

MrsAvocet · 15/02/2025 23:38

No. I did go to a University reunion once and once we'd got past "So where are you working now?" there was little to talk about except reminiscing about eccentric lecturers really. But everyone there had studied the same degree so we at least had that interest in common. Former schoolmates don't even have that - they're are just people who happened to be born at roughly the same time in roughly the same place as me. I am still in touch with my genuine friends so I don't need a reunion with them, and the rest are of no interest.

This is it for me.
Once you've covered the basics, where do you go from there? These are people you've chosen not to stay in touch with for years and years. Clearly you don't want to be friends. After the catch up, it's unlikely you'll be keeping in touch. It's all a bit pointless really. Like a work conference, except at least you get paid for the small talk with strangers then.

GreenMarigold · 15/02/2025 23:50

Oh I’d love to find out what everyone ended up doing. Unfortunately I have an awful memory for faces and I would probably only recognise 2 or 3 people.

I have had about 5 people recognise me since school and I had not the faintest idea who they were!

TheodoraCrumpet · 15/02/2025 23:50

I went to one quite recently. Someone from our year likes to organise them to coincide with landmark anniversaries and birthdays, and I'd always turned them down before. I don't live in the same place and have only kept in touch with close friends. No experience of school bullies and never fretted about not being one of the cool kids. It was a really interesting experience, even though there was a good deal of career oneupmanship and covert figure-comparing (I failed on both counts, and did not give a single fuck about it). The best people to chat to didn't pull any of that shit, and it was lovely to reminisce for one evening.

Mademetoxic · 15/02/2025 23:54

8 years? That is yesterday! Far too soon!

BlondiePortz · 15/02/2025 23:57

Yes it would be fun

BarneyRonson · 16/02/2025 00:01

Would absolutely love to see everyone again! I left school so long ago there was no social media then, most of us lost touch. I feel huge affection for schooldays even though I’d want to avoid, still, the judgy girls in their cliques.

IntermittentStream · 16/02/2025 00:10

Given that my main emotion towards my schoolmates when we were at school together was a desire to avoid the toilets at fight time, no!

Last I heard of the terrifying girl who sat next to me in maths, she was in prison.

GingersOwner26 · 16/02/2025 01:23

There was a lot of going back and forth when it was my 10 years about whether there was any interest in one. In the end some last minute thing at a pub was planned, and I didn't go (it was on a day I couldn't go, but to be honest even if I had been free I doubt I would have bothered. From what I gathered it was mainly one friendship group, I only really knew one of them and I'm still in contact with him anyway).

Gingerkittykat · 16/02/2025 01:59

There were around 250 kids in my year, I can only remember a handful of them. I'm in touch with 2 people I was at school with, I'm curious about another couple but would never go to a reunion.

sashh · 16/02/2025 05:26

Another wanting to be handed the rusty spoon here.

NattyTurtle59 · 16/02/2025 06:11

I've just registered to go to mine - but I've been away from school for nearly 50 years! I attended a couple of class reunions over a decade ago, and they were great. When I was at school I couldn't wait to leave, but now I can see that they really were good days. I'm going to the funeral of one of my teachers tomorrow.

NattyTurtle59 · 16/02/2025 06:12

Gingerkittykat · 16/02/2025 01:59

There were around 250 kids in my year, I can only remember a handful of them. I'm in touch with 2 people I was at school with, I'm curious about another couple but would never go to a reunion.

Wow - there were only 300 at my whole school (forms 1 - 7).

Mingenious · 16/02/2025 06:17

school was the worst years of my life, so no. I moved away asap and have only ever been back to the town once or twice. Driving past the school gave me palpitations, hell would freeze over before I’d choose to go in.