Today was supposed to be special. Since my husband was working yesterday, we planned to celebrate Valentine’s Day today. It was also a big milestone for us because our little one got invited to their first birthday party! I was really looking forward to it—both of us work full-time, so we barely get time together. The plan was to go to the party as a family, then head out for dinner and roam around the city.
Everything was going fine until my husband started looking for the remote control. He’s very particular about where things should be (like the remote always being next to the TV). I was the last one to use it while working out, but I was pretty sure I left it on the sofa. Our kid had been playing with the cushions, so it probably got buried somewhere. My husband was searching for it, getting visibly frustrated, and we were already running late. I told him we could just look for it later, hoping to keep the mood light.
But instead, he got really worked up, saying I always misplace things and bringing up other minor stuff, like pan lids not being in the "right" place. I admit I can be forgetful with small things, but I’m generally organized. I was really trying not to let this ruin the day, but it just killed the vibe.
We got in the car, and I asked him to please not let this ruin the day. But he kept going, and based on past experiences, I knew how this would play out—we’d just end up cold and distant, unable to switch back to being affectionate like nothing happened.
At that point, I lost it too. I told him he didn’t even plan anything for our Valentine’s Day dinner, and all I was asking was for him to not let something as small as a remote control ruin our time together. Honestly, this has always been an issue in our relationship—small things escalating into bigger arguments. And sometimes, I just want to feel special, especially on days that are supposed to be meaningful.
I was so frustrated that I told him to just drop us off at the party and come back later to pick us up.
After the party, he asked me what the plan was. I was still upset, so I told him I’d be going out on my own to the restaurant we were supposed to go to. He just said “okay” and dropped me off at the train station.
Honestly, I feel kind of numb right now—upset, but not in the way I used to be. Before, I’d be really angry, but now? I’m just annoyed and over it. I don’t want to waste the day, especially since I’m all dressed up, so I’m thinking of heading to London for some solo time instead.
Am I being an asshole for doing this?