to be fed up with dh for not admitting that it's hard to be a sahm?

[PTA]

Long story short, went for a walk on Monday and fell hurting my ankle, went to A&E not broken just very badly sprained, stay off it for 48hrs and no driving.

DH had to take this week off to help with the boys or they were going to miss everything that the normally do. Tuesday ok as quiet day, he enjoyed Wednesday as he got to go to DS2 Downs group, yesterday was really hectic with mothers and toddlers for DH2 and gymnastics for DH1. We also had to enrol DS1 at school, do some shopping and there was and Open University information day that I was really keen to pop into. And then we went to see DH's grandparents.

You would think that he has been having to look after 200 and not two children!!! And I've been helping. He thinks he is hard done by and when I said "welcome to my world" he said that I had it easy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could kill him. He just doesn't listen and when I pointed out that I do everything that he has been doing plus all the things like cooking and seeing to the washing that I've still been doing he said that I was used to it and while that's true it doesn't make it any easier.

He is away to do the two lots of swimming lessons this morning and you should have seen his face when I explained the timetable.

9.00 take DS1 to nursey

9.30 be in the pool with DS2

10.00 lesson ends, get DS2 washed and dressed and bring back to me

11.15 pick DS1 up

11.30 get DS1 to the pool for his lesson

And I fed DS2 for him, got out DS1 clothes and packed both the swimmingbags!!!!!!!!!!!!

He has also been let off lightly because the weather has been so good. DS1 was pottering about in the garden Tuesday and Wednesday afternoon and did not need amusing or want to got to the park, etc.

But what really, really gets to me is that, despite all this, he won't say, "Good job" or "I don't know how you do this" or anything nice about it. He genuinely thinks that I have it easy and that he has the tough job moving papers about his desk. And I know that he is finding it difficult to cope, so why can't he admit that it's not the easy option staying at home?

On the plus side, it has made me realise that I am going to have to be more careful and loose weight. I hate to think about how things would be if I was laid up for longer and while he was great when DS2 was born and for 9weeks in hospital, but I was always about and my family chipped in and helped.

I know part of it is down to my control freakery but would it really kill him to acknowledge that it is hard to be at home all day?

I mentioned this thread to DH last night, and he told me that the people who thought that being a SAHM was easy obviously had an easy-going child like our friend's, and not a lively rather intensive one like ours.

Rather obviously, I am lucky that I have a very involved DH, as he wouldn't know how difficult it can be if he didn't have her to himself quite often at the weekends.

I am really lucky because I worked in dh's job pre-kids and he had a day a week being a SAHD when dd was little- so we are neither of us at risk of underestimating each other's work. Have now got another part time job. I would have to say that of the three:

being a SAHM ranked about the same as dh's job (a mix of very heavy manual work and pen-pushing); I got at least as tired from looking after dc's as from pushing a wheelbarrow up and down a ramp; dh seems to agree with me in this evaluation, at least he's never questioned the value of what I do at home

compared to either, my present job- as a university lecturer cum researcher- is dead cushy. All my students can wipe their bottoms and a fair few of them actually listen to what I say. Ah, the bliss of a nice day's rest at work!

I am a sahm to 2 boys aged 2yrs and 2 months.
I love being able to be with them both. I have great fun playing with my 2 yr old and love my cuddles with the baby. I think I cope well with looking after them both, doing fun activities and keeping on top of the housework

The majority of the time I enjoy it, I wouldnt have it any other way....
But it IS damn hard work!!

My 2 yr old is like a whirlwind, never (and I mean never) stops. I was in hospital all Fri and Sat with him as he ate something poisonous in the garden while I was changing the babys nappy!
In my old job, if I had a headache or felt rough then I took everything a bit slower in the office. Now I have to go at 100 miles an hour all the time just to keep up with my toddler!! and my god, if anyone in my old office had ever had a tantrun like my ds does then I would have quit on the spot!! lol

I never found being SAHM hard, ever. I have always hoovered whole house up and down, every day, washing every day, plus all other little jobs, so nothing builds up. Really not sure what is hard about it...tiring with non many breaks, maybe, but hard? I have also been single parent for 5 years since ds was 3.

HOWEVER, I know where the op is coming from.
All she wants is to have her position as a good mum and homemaker acknowledged with respect and love.

Its not the cleaning thats hard though imo
Anyone could stick the kids in front of the TV or in a playpen and clean the house..

Its the looking after the kids in a way that makes it fun, happy and more beneficial to them to be at home rather than at nursery/childminders PLUS keeping on top of the housework that is the hard bit!
Particularly when you have a day of whining and tantrums in return for all your love and attention.
A tiny bit of appreciation that you are doing a good job goes a long way!

This post has TERRIFIED me!! I will be a SAHM but unlike you, I won't have a DP/DH walking it as he, so far, wants nothing to do with me or our baby. I realise it is going to be hard - but seriously, you're lucky you have someone to help out, even if it isn't as much as you'd like...

I am having a serious dip in the good hormones this week!!