to be fed up with dh for not admitting that it's hard to be a sahm?

[PTA]

Long story short, went for a walk on Monday and fell hurting my ankle, went to A&E not broken just very badly sprained, stay off it for 48hrs and no driving.

DH had to take this week off to help with the boys or they were going to miss everything that the normally do. Tuesday ok as quiet day, he enjoyed Wednesday as he got to go to DS2 Downs group, yesterday was really hectic with mothers and toddlers for DH2 and gymnastics for DH1. We also had to enrol DS1 at school, do some shopping and there was and Open University information day that I was really keen to pop into. And then we went to see DH's grandparents.

You would think that he has been having to look after 200 and not two children!!! And I've been helping. He thinks he is hard done by and when I said "welcome to my world" he said that I had it easy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could kill him. He just doesn't listen and when I pointed out that I do everything that he has been doing plus all the things like cooking and seeing to the washing that I've still been doing he said that I was used to it and while that's true it doesn't make it any easier.

He is away to do the two lots of swimming lessons this morning and you should have seen his face when I explained the timetable.

9.00 take DS1 to nursey

9.30 be in the pool with DS2

10.00 lesson ends, get DS2 washed and dressed and bring back to me

11.15 pick DS1 up

11.30 get DS1 to the pool for his lesson

And I fed DS2 for him, got out DS1 clothes and packed both the swimmingbags!!!!!!!!!!!!

He has also been let off lightly because the weather has been so good. DS1 was pottering about in the garden Tuesday and Wednesday afternoon and did not need amusing or want to got to the park, etc.

But what really, really gets to me is that, despite all this, he won't say, "Good job" or "I don't know how you do this" or anything nice about it. He genuinely thinks that I have it easy and that he has the tough job moving papers about his desk. And I know that he is finding it difficult to cope, so why can't he admit that it's not the easy option staying at home?

On the plus side, it has made me realise that I am going to have to be more careful and loose weight. I hate to think about how things would be if I was laid up for longer and while he was great when DS2 was born and for 9weeks in hospital, but I was always about and my family chipped in and helped.

I know part of it is down to my control freakery but would it really kill him to acknowledge that it is hard to be at home all day?

Actually maybe OfSAHM (or OfSAHP) would be a good idea...

well i just dont agree that it is work picking children up from school

unless it is miles away

i did have to spend two years picking up ds and taking him but that was a 25 mile drive and took me an hour and ahlaf there and back twice ad ay so if you drvie 500 miles a week and it akes 15hours then maybe i will concede lol

I believe you may now be being slightly provocative UQD.

I understood you UQD

it's easier to be at home with children than go out to work. (in my experience). i've done both.

an inspection by other parents no one would pass

Oh dittany you are not being serious are you? UQD was saying that work IS NOT LIKE being at home because at home you don't have to do timesheets etc

Blimey, hard work here

oh i understood you too UQ

dittany - it's all in the tone I've picked up. No one specific post. If you think I'm projecting, maybe you're projecting!!

VS - I have never clock-watched so much as when I had children.

I know very few SAHPs whose children are Yr3 or older but those I do know do things like

caring for sick or old relatives or friends
are actively involved in the PTA
do voluntary work in their dc school, playgroups or elsewhere

The unpaid 'jobs' that keep things going. However mundane that may seem to you.

I find it very difficult to drive in my air conditioned car accross Bristol listening to music and then watching the children play before school to get a little exercise. Then popping over to Clifton for a coffee with Mums whilst a cleaner runs through my whole house in a sweat!! Then I have a few hours to kill so may take in the zoo before coming home for lunch, putting DD1 to bed and MNing for the afternoon. Oh I can barely take the strain!!
Sorry, this is at least one day a week for me, not to say that others do have it tough and I would never mock them for that, but my life is pretty good.

how funny daftpunk. I've done both too. i initially found being at home waaayyy harder !
eight years on now and i love it.

Can I use my school run as a job? I have to leave at 2pm to get a bus to town from the villge and then a bus from town to the school and then back again, all with a three week old baby and and three year old in tow.

i dont think anyone is attacking sahms

just saying that it isnt necessarily that hard
tho admittedly can be tedious and repettive and you sometimes wish you were doin g something else like a fulfiling job

And there are more verbal attacks in the media on SAHMs by women than men, as someone else pointed out. When did you last read such an article by a man?

Golf course is not "skiving", it's an after-work hobby. I'd tut if the men going to golf had nothing to do all day.

I seem to have entered a bizarre parallel Universe where I disagree with Zippi and agree with Dittany (other than the usual grace notes of misandry of course...)

yep vs you can count it as a job

pp cant tho

i still think the hardest part and by far the greatest scarifice is finding you are unemployable as a result of your sahp time

Point missed, dittany... never mind. Others have got it. I have no "issue".

dadada

does that mean you usually agree with me eh?

conniedescending, lucky you having such a perfect, equal relationship with your dh where he does half the chores and the childcare AND never critisises. How wonderful he doesn't expect you to do his shirts/dinner.

Alot of women on here DO have partners who expect alot from them, expect there dirty washing to go from the floor/next to the wash bin, be magically washed/ironed/folded and put away. Alots of womens partners do also expect the house to stay completly spottless and come home and say "but you've been home all day, what have you been doing?" Not realising the living room can go from tidy-messy within minutes of a toddler entering. How great that you can so smuggly claim otherwise.

Good for you for not feeling undervalued in society. It's kind of hard though when your role is not seen as "not a job" though and have people wonder "what you do all day?"

"I just cannot get my head around all the talk of hardship and stress in doing a few chores and caring for your children" What a perfect little life you must lead.

That depends on your job though zippi. And what you've done with your SAHP time.