Thinking it’s weird for kids to pay parents rent

[User788889]

My friend has a daughter (17) she charges rent. My family did the same to me growing up? Am I the only one who think it’s setting your kids up for failure and greedy to charge your kids for staying in their childhood home. I’d want my kids to be able to afford their own place not make it harder for them. Only thing I would do was pretend to and then give it all back to them…

Yes and as pp has said above, Asian is a broad church and not all of us are the same. It's more fluid, I guess.Yes to the expectation of pitching in.

My 17 year old's share of the bills in the house is around £250. When she is 18 and working full time, yes I'm asking her to contribute that. I have said its for the bills, but I'm hoping to put most (if not all) into a savings account for her, which I'll tell her about when she wants to buy her own house or whatever. Hopefully in the short term she'll learn she needs to budget for bills, and in the long term she'll have learned about savings.

I'd love to put all of it away for her, and will if I can. I'm a widow on a not-great income though, so I have to do what I have to do.

No, if they save it on their deposit instead. I'd rather they saved on their own home than give it to me. The housing situation in this country will only deteriorate.

I think it's totally fair enough for parents who are struggling to make ends meet, but pretty bizarre for wealthy parents. My children will always have a home with me.

I think it depends. 17 does seem young to be paying rent, especially if she's still in full-time education (and I assume she must be). I would probably charge my kids a nominal rent if they still live at home as adults as I'm a single mum on an average salary and paying for three adults is expensive! At least you get child benefit when they're under 18. Depends if they're working though, I wouldn't if they were studying.

This is what I plan to do.
I think it depends on everyone’s circumstances, we will be able to afford to do this. Also, I can imagine my eldest being a bit wreckless with money so as least it teaches him to budget a little!
I will only do this when they are not studying and working full time

It gives them a sense of responsibility. All mine have always paid some sort of contribution once they have started work - albeit a very small one (£20 a week).

Although back in the 90's my parents (who were and still are generously well off), used to charge me £80 a month - which back then was about quarter of my salary, thinking back that was awful lol. My mum was proud to admit not so long back that out of 7 children I was the only one who ever paid any rent (one left for uni, the other 5 were a lot older and it didn't dawn on them to ask for any contributions back then so I was the first and last.

Who actually pays the bills?

This is exactly what I intend to do with my DC!

It depends on the household, but ultimately, all adults in the house need to contribute something. What that is, is determined by the household and personal circumstance.

I paid maintenance, and it wasn't much, but I enjoyed making my contribution, because it helped my mum out. I had a lot more disposable income than my mother, even with saving.

I don’t charge rent from my son but he does contribute to the utility bills which is fair as he has long showers and likes his room warm.

I think if they are adult and working it’s only fair they contribute something.

But my 17 year old was working full time, earning above NMW and therefore child benefit for him etc stopped. You don’t know if this is the case here as well?

I started working at 17 and I gave about half of my salary to my mum for food and rent. Didn't find that strange. She'd been working all her life and always put her kids needs first. So when I could contribute I did. And she/we needed the money.

Yes, someone in that household must be footing other adults bills.

This is what we did, we never left our children short of money that was never the point,

Better than what my mum did and kicked me out at 16! I'd rather she just charged me rent tbh

They need to learn how to budget for when they move out- taking rent allows for this.

Personally, I will save it for them when they get their own place and that way it isn't a shock.

That’s me you are talking about! My 19 year old pays board, otherwise we’d really struggle. I divorced 3 years ago and his dad contributes nothing now even though he earns very well! I earn £22k a year with a small mortgage and all bills etc! Maybe think first as not everyone is in same position as you. At some point they need to start paying any my son thinks his friends who pay nothing are spoilt mummy’s boys who aren’t in the real world!

I paid my mum rent because she lost child benefit and her single person council tax discount and I earned the same as her. She was also only staying in the home so I could live there. Whilst she didn't downsize the second I left, within two years she was in a much cheaper flat.

I think we will be able to not charge rent to my son as we are in a different situation.

DH and I do. We can afford it. The idea of asking my 80- year-old mum to pay for her frugal meals is not acceptable to me, personally

DD working on a low salary pays for her own meals or drinks out etc but not the general house bills.

Our DS is mid 20's and lives/works from home. He goes into the office once a week. He has his room with a private bathroom plus the use of a second bedroom which is set up as an office. He gets food, laundry, utilities plus the high speed internet and privacy needed for his job. He shares the use of my car which he will put fuel in if it's running low. He chooses not to move out - he has ASD and prefers to not live with strangers although he coped (mostly) at uni.

He earns £65k plus bonuses. We asked for £400pcm but having lived away though uni and knowing the cost of things he pays £600. He likes to pay his way and is saving plenty, he has various stocks and shares ISAs and is in a position to buy a property when he feels the time is right for him. He's easy to live with, cleans his rooms once a week and will load/unload the dishwasher/washing machine and sometimes cook.

I guess the majority here will think we are horrendous but it works for our family. We've had 12 years of paying for uni students and have gone without during that time, and are in the SE so can't imagine a £500 mortgage!

It's no bad thing imo if they're working
even a small contribution of £20 teaches DC that bills have to be paid for the house they live in
Some parents simply can't afford to cover costs if for example benefits or maintenance stops
Some parents don't need the money but save it unknown to DC for a house deposit
Personally I charged £20 when DS1 was 18 12 years ago on principle.

I didn't pay rent/keep to my parents and I was working FT from 19 and only left home at 24.
I was, however, the last of 3 children to leave home.
My own DS returned home after Uni. We didn't charge him rent but that was on condition that he saved up for a house deposit. He completed on his house purchase last year, 3 years after he moved back home.
I have always been able to budget (we haven't always been in a position of having surplus income) and I was pleased to see that DS did himself a budgeting spreadsheet before buying his house and is fully aware of the need to be careful with finances.
I don't think that not charging children/young adults rent necessarily leads to them being frivolous with money.
And as others have said, not everyone is in the privileged position of being able to afford not to charge rent. Once benefits stop for that child, the money has to be replaced somehow.

My son has more monthly income than me now but it’s his first full time job after uni and we don't’ have a mortgage anymore so charging rent would seem off. He pays a small set amount each month which covers the heating bill. If he wants beers or a takeaway he gets them himself now. I think it works well.

I was charged ‘rent’ when I got a job in my gap year before uni. My mum felt it was an important lesson in financial responsibility. When I left to go to uni, she gave it all back to me, as she’d saved it.

With my children, I’ll probably do something similar. If they’re working full-time as fully functioning adults, then I think rent is only fair. It’s contributing to household costs. Life isn’t free.