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Original poster

Thinking it’s weird for kids to pay parents rent

1000 replies

User788889 · 14/02/2025 10:31

My friend has a daughter (17) she charges rent. My family did the same to me growing up? Am I the only one who think it’s setting your kids up for failure and greedy to charge your kids for staying in their childhood home. I’d want my kids to be able to afford their own place not make it harder for them. Only thing I would do was pretend to and then give it all back to them…

OP posts:
RandomButtons · 14/02/2025 10:37

It totally depends on the situation.

if an 18 year old has a job and is still living with their parent, and the parent isn’t financially well off, why should the parent still continue to pay for the child’s lifestyle? Maybe the parent/s have struggled for years to pay bills, working hard etc. the child should pay their own way.

If the parent is financially well off and can afford to not charge rent, fantastic.

Cottagecheeseisnotcheese · 14/02/2025 10:37

You realize that some people have little money and can't provide for an adult also when child becomes adult there is no child benefit, but also they are no longer counted for other benefits like universal credit. If the adult child is working you loss council tax discount. Many people need their working son or daughter to contribute to bills. There is the assumption that adult children are contributing to bills. I think charging rent is fairly unusual but charging board is not and I think perfectly reasonable. If you are wealthy enough to feed clothe and pay all your adult child's bills that's up to the individual but with cost of living crisis many simply can't afford to subsidise.

19lottie82 · 14/02/2025 10:37

my view is if a “child” is over 18 and working full time (not in education) then yes, of course they should pay.

mainly because it teaches them financial responsibility. Life is not free. Having your full income as pocket money is not a good life lesson at all.

secondly, why should other adults in my house have to pay and also subsidise them? When my DSD was working at the age of 19, herniate was more than myself and her father’s “disposable” income put together.

CraftyGin · 14/02/2025 10:37

My DD pays £500 a month

19lottie82 · 14/02/2025 10:39

We did charge DSD1 rent as she earned well in an FT job and blew it all on absolute crap.

we didn’t charge DSD2 rent as she was studying FT, working 25 hours a week and saving for a house deposit.

Nothitrockbottomyet · 14/02/2025 10:41

I don't call it "rent"as such . It is " paying for your keep".
And it's always been the norm in my experience where the son/ daughter is in employment.

ChanelBoucle · 14/02/2025 10:43

No I don’t charge 19 year old dd rent because I’m encouraging her to save money for a house deposit. It’s hard enough for young people to get on the ladder these days, why would I want to set her back even further?

mallorytowers8282 · 14/02/2025 10:44

No, it's not weird.

It's just a different financial situation to your own.

Snorlaxo · 14/02/2025 10:44

If you get benefits to balance your household budget then chances are you lose them when the child starts work or reaches 18. Where is that shortfall supposed to come from?

Not charging your child rent is a luxury that you can afford because your household budget balances without benefits etc

Original poster
User788889 · 14/02/2025 10:44

ChanelBoucle · 14/02/2025 10:43

No I don’t charge 19 year old dd rent because I’m encouraging her to save money for a house deposit. It’s hard enough for young people to get on the ladder these days, why would I want to set her back even further?

That’s what I believe. I have friends who have gotten inheritance, others who didn’t have to pay rent and let me just say they are well travelled, business owners, have houses because they had an easier start to life. They are very responsible. I guess this does not apply to everyone but I’ll definitely won’t contribute to setting my kids back.

OP posts:
Cottagecheeseisnotcheese · 14/02/2025 10:44

My DD is 15 but she knows she will need to pay board once working. She will not pay when working small part time job while still in school but her job will be expected to her social life. Her allowance currently covers social life, make up ( but not skin care) sweets and extra clothes over and above what I buy for her.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 14/02/2025 10:45

My 2 adult children pay £500 a month each, but we've told them we will save half of it to give back to them.

The reality is that we are saving it all for them to give back when they need it to buy their first home.

We can afford to continue to pay for their upkeep, but are lucky to be in that position, if we were struggling it would be a different story.

YouDeserveBetterSoAskForIt · 14/02/2025 10:45

YANBU but my caveat is only if it can be afforded.

If the parents are really struggling financially then it is a needs must situation.

I personally would charge rent but put it aside (and tell them I was doing so). It teaches budgeting and will give them a heads tart on their own place when the time comes.

BillStickersWillBeProsocuted · 14/02/2025 10:45

As others have said it depends on the finacial situation of both parnet and child

I also think it's good for them to get used to paying bills when they start earning - it will come as less of a shock when they move out and 80-90% of their money is suddeny going on bills!

LoveSandbanks · 14/02/2025 10:45

Im a firm believer that no one should live for free unless the parent are extraordinarily wealthy.

An 18 year old on minimum wage will be clearing over £1,000 a month. Depending on their travel costs to work they are likely to be living at home with more “spending money” than their parents who are working to provide the home they live in.

Quercus5 · 14/02/2025 10:46

17 is a bit young unless the parents are really struggling financially.

We didn’t ask for anything while our children were at university, but once they had graduated and were earning proper money we asked them to pay a share of the bills. I saw it as all part of teaching them to be responsible adults.

PixieandDelilahsmum · 14/02/2025 10:46

Totally agree with you, OP. If I were to charge rent to my dc (which I never have and never will) I would save it up and give it back to them.

Whoarethoseguys · 14/02/2025 10:46

I could never charge my children,vat one time both my adult children stayed with us after university one with their partner for several months . I wouldn't dream if charging them because it was their home

Original poster
User788889 · 14/02/2025 10:47

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 14/02/2025 10:45

My 2 adult children pay £500 a month each, but we've told them we will save half of it to give back to them.

The reality is that we are saving it all for them to give back when they need it to buy their first home.

We can afford to continue to pay for their upkeep, but are lucky to be in that position, if we were struggling it would be a different story.

That’s clever. I might steal that idea. I do believe teenagers are reckless with money. Even if you don’t charge them rent chances are they won’t be smart with their money. this is the perfect solution

OP posts:
hairyunicorn · 14/02/2025 10:47

I charge my DS (19) £230 pm to cover a contribution to rent and council tax.

He moved in with me recently and currently in the process of buying a 2 bed flat to accommodate him. My mortgage will go up from £475 to £825. Plus the increase in council tax, as a single parent i have no choice.

HereIfYouNeedMe · 14/02/2025 10:48

I paid rent at home and I'm the only one to now have my own house. My brother and sister in law have never paid a penny and have no idea about the cost of life in their mid twenties. To the point MIL is selling her house because of debt.

crossstitchingnana · 14/02/2025 10:49

I charge my dd £100 a month. It's a nominal amount as we can afford it, we want her to save a deposit BUT I am not working to pay all the bills while she spends all hers on herself, that's unfair.

BMW6 · 14/02/2025 10:49

It doesn't "set them back" - on the contrary they learn the value of their labour and budgeting skills.

One of the tasks of parenting is teaching these aspects of adulthood. Mollycoddling teaches them nothing of value and is actually a real disservice to them.

countrygirl99 · 14/02/2025 10:50

Why the hell shouldn't someone working and earning pay for the food they eat etc?

wherearemypastnames · 14/02/2025 10:50

But charging rent and the saving it for then that just means you have enough money to be able to do that

Shocker - Not everyone does

So you are saying it's weird to poor and struggle for money ? Or are you saying you would rather starve and freeze before charging rent? Or is it just holidays and chocolate you expect a parent to give up for their child ? Very noble but rather misguided I would say

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