Thinking it’s weird for kids to pay parents rent

[User788889]

My friend has a daughter (17) she charges rent. My family did the same to me growing up? Am I the only one who think it’s setting your kids up for failure and greedy to charge your kids for staying in their childhood home. I’d want my kids to be able to afford their own place not make it harder for them. Only thing I would do was pretend to and then give it all back to them…

Charity starts at home. Wealthier individuals already do contribute a substantial portion of tax revenue. This is why business owners are leaving the UK at a crazy rate. They’re moving their assets to lower tax jurisdictions. This is detrimental to society because actually, people who are wealthy drive the economic growth by creating jobs for the average person and investing in start ups. So no, wealth inequality doesn’t always “harm us all.” I question this victim mentality where people believe they are so far away from bettering their situation and therefore blame rich people or the government. With consistency, anyone can improve their finances and their overall quality of life. In this day and age, there are endless possibilities. Start a trade, write a blog, buy and sell. Do one of these consistently for a year and see what happens! Again, adults having a financial advantage is by no means a negative! Don’t limit yourself.

With consistency, anyone can improve their finances and their overall quality of life. In this day and age, there are endless possibilities. Start a trade, write a blog, buy and sell. Do one of these consistently for a year and see what happens! Again, adults having a financial advantage is by no means a negative! Don’t limit yourself.

I genuinely believe you live in cloud cuckoo land.

Ok so change the mode of transport. We used to pay all their travel costs be it bus, train or taxi. Now they pay their own. It balances out.

You have to have some money behind you to start a trade or buy and sell

Yes, but you have talked consistently about “running their cars” which, yes, will save you a lot of money when you don’t, but as you have said, you were doing it. Which means you could afford to do it.

Me and many others can’t

And I will say it again, not paying bus fares will not equal out what I will be losing. You keep saying it does not make it so.

You suddenly deciding to change your narrative (a bus journey is not the same saving as not running your DCs car) doesn’t change things.

How much times do I have to say I am not talking about single parents or those who cannot afford it? If the shoe doesn’t fit there is no need to wear it.

And yet your opening post does not put that caveat in? Did it take posts on here to make you aware that those kind of people exist? At which point you thoughtfully excluded us from being greedy?

Great point.

See it's from a point of privilege that you can even afford to run a car for your DC. Many parents can't afford to run a car for themselves

That's not whst the title of the thread says is it?

No, the narrative keeps changing here, because some of us are pretty annoyed at the assumptions this poster (and another) keep
making.

I for one have just reread this posters opinion that benefits are a luxury.

None of which I said is wrong I’m just obviously speaking to the wrong people. The only difference between extraordinary and ordinary is the little bit extra. I know I’m going to be scrutinised no matter what I say so I’ll be harsh. If I was dirt broke and didn’t have young demanding kids I wouldn’t spend so much time on mumsnet and would learn a skill. Like web design or marketing. Decent money and very attainable. But of course I’m from cuckoo land and if you tell people something they'll give you a trillion reasons why they can’t instead of trying it. If anyone is interested I recommend sticking to a skill for a year and seeing the difference it makes. Then come back and say if I’m such a horrible person.

An̈d apparently anyone can better themselves by starting a trade or buying and selling
How can you make money of buying and selling sweet FA?

How would you finance that with no money?

Need absolutely nothing. That’s how I started. Sell old clothes on vinted. Take that money to invest in buying and selling gadgets. Bake a cake. Watch a dog. People will pay for just about anything.

Don’t quite know what FA means.

All my children left home at 17 to go university (2 are still there) and so whilst I gave/give them money to help they are all very independent. I therefore don't feel judged by this thread but understand the emotions.
I would ask though when an adult stays at home and pays no rent or bills are they independent? Do they still feel like children? (Not talking about the 16 and 17 year olds with part-time jobs)
More importantly, do you still treat them as children?
There was a thread a few days ago where a woman in her 40s still relied on financial help from her parents and so was stuck when they treated her badly. I doubt she is the only adult whose relationship with parents is totally messed up and imploding because of their continuing dependence and the parents refusal to accept that their "children" are adults and therefore do not have to do what the parents say.

That's very area dependent people where I live are more likely ito want to buy weed then a home made cake
And dont have the money to pay someone to watch their dog
You would also have to have the skills to bake a cake people are going to want to buy
Whilst I'm sure I could rustle up a cake my kids are going to enjoy l nobody would want to buy it
And surely you would also have to prove some kind of hygiene qualifications what if someone accused you of food poisoning.?

It was about a fiver a week. I used to deliver the Edinburgh evening news and we’d also have to collect the money on a Friday. Clearly showing my age but it was 22p a paper so lots would round up. Honestly at 13 with over £10 a week I felt really flush.

It’s more the principle of the thing if you work you contribute as things cost money. It’s not like my mum was spending money on herself it probably just paid for a bit of extra food.

Fuck All

Very valid points. I mentioned how financially screwed I was when I was younger. I was very broke and depressed, and would do just about anything to make money. It was about 14/15 I was watching neighbours dogs. In my 20s I started babysitting; there are still websites today that make the process very straight forward, didn’t need anything. Brought and sold gadgets, cleaned houses. You name it, I dont it because where there’s a will there’s a way. I don’t mean to gloat or patronise people into doing any of these things but people have said they are genuinely struggling. If you are looking for ideas, here are just a few which did help me get out of a financial crisis. Or suggestions for the younger generation.

Just to clarify, I have skills, I have run my own company. Cancer unfortunately took both that company and the ability to use the skill I had.

Now, in between obviously being lazy on Mumsnet, I go to work and look after my children alone.

To retrain costs money (an example i was/am a qualified dog groomer) and that course cost me 4k without set up costs.

I did a lot of stuff with boarding animals, but you need a van, licence and insurance. For someone to do that costs a fortune.

Your whole thread, despite what you say, has a sneering undertone to people who aren’t in your financial position, you deny it, but it’s there.

And you act as if no one else has ever worked?

Again, I'd urge you to take your own advice! I'd remind you it's you not I who has chosen to start a thread complaining about your own percieved disadvantage and 'victim status' because your parents chose not to bank roll you. I'm a middle aged woman, happy with my lot thank you. I have paid my way, including contributing to the family home (my parents were not greedy, they were hard working people who despite their best efforts did not become wealthy, just like the majority of the population in a society that needs more low paid workers than highly paid ones) and certainly don't need urging to start a blog or a trade thank you. Again, perhaps take your own advice. You clearly believe that all good things are there for the taking if you just try hard enough, so why not go get them instead of whining that mummy and daddy didnt hold your hand?

As I seem to have to keep saying it doesn't matter on the mode of transport, where they eat lunch be it M&S or Greggs, where they buy their clothes. The point it we did it all pre earnings, once they have their own they pay for it all. It adds up. Far more than our monthly leccy bill I can tell you. They don't need to shoulder parents costs too.

I'm far from privileged and have had hard times like everyone else. I'm not taking money from my kids though ever certainly not any uni loans, even if we ended up homeless.