To think my sibling is being totally unreasonable about sleeping arrangements on this trip?

[jd206]

Posting here for traffic because I need to know if I’m being mad or if my sibling is just being ridiculous.

We (me, DH, DCs, my sibling, and their DP) are going on a family trip soon. It’s been planned for ages, all agreed and booked. We’re staying in a big Airbnb-type place with multiple bedrooms. The plan was that DH and I would have one room, DCs in another, and my sibling and their DP in the third. There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it.

Now, sibling has suddenly decided that they don’t want to share a room with their DP because “they sleep badly together” (which is apparently news to everyone, including DP!). They’ve said they’ll be taking the box room instead, which means DP will now have to share with one of my DCs (who is 6 and not thrilled at the idea of sharing with an adult they barely know that well).

I told them that’s not fair and that they need to just suck it up and share with their DP as planned. They’re now saying I’m being unreasonable and need to be more flexible, and that the sleeping arrangements aren’t set in stone. But surely you don’t just unilaterally change things like this last minute?!

DM has now waded in and is backing sibling, saying I’m being selfish and that we should “find a compromise” (but what compromise? DH and I aren’t going to split up for the sake of their random issue).

So, AIBU to think my sibling is being totally unfair and should just stick to the original plan? Or am I missing something here?

TL;DR: Sibling suddenly refusing to share with their DP on a trip, wants to take the spare room, leaving their DP to bunk with my child. I’ve said no, now I’m the bad guy. Who’s BU here?

I agree with your mum. I think it’s fine to use the box room. Let it go. Your thinking has become rigid and I feel you’re blowing it up to be an issue. Lots of couples don’t sleep well together.

Have a good holiday.

OP, you are absolutely bonkers, and sounding like a nightmare.

Your DS can have the spare box room, then you and DH in one room, your DC in another room and DS's DP in the third room. There is absolutely no suggestion anywhere that the DP would be bunking with your children!!

Why do you feel entitled to have ownership over the spare room and keep it empty?

I mean this with kindness, pls try and ask yourself why you’re feeling so much anxiety over this. You sound like you need to maintain a high level of control. This is quite distorted thinking. I would maybe go see your GP. You might need to start HRT (meant only with respect).

Also, you have the power to flip this now and be cool about it. You could even have the best holiday! Come on! Turn this around now!

What makes you think her do would be sharing with your children? Surely he could move a bed or just use a sleeping bag on the floor of your siblings. It's not just on you to decide

This is the bat-shittiest of bat-shit I've ever attenpted to understand... and failed miserably.

@niadainud "Don't forget that the hamster requires its own room with en suite"

Is that because the hamster's husband smells of elderberries ?

OP can’t do this to us. We need answers!

Is anyone else wondering what the OP’s job might be? And how have they navigated the world long enough to have kids but unable to give a basic update without leaving people in her wake totally confused.
Next we’ll find out she writes policy for government!!!

I suspect this is because they’ve agreed to split the expenses 50:50 and so sibling feels that they can use 2 bedrooms and the OP and her family can have 2 as well. Especially given that there’s no previous history of sibling unable to sleep with their DP.

This hasn't made it any clearer.
You said there was a spare room (a box room)
Your sibling wants their own bed instead of sleeping with their DP. So...
Sibling sleeps on box room.
You and your DH are in 1 room as planned
Your DCs are in 2nd room as planned
Your sibling's DP is in the bedroom as planned

Where is the issues?

And what is an AirBnB 'type thing?' If it has multiple rooms as you say, surely there would also be a sofa bed that can be used...

Weird post

You and me both! I’m off to my spare room to think about it all!

@Justalittlehandhold yiu can’t go swanning off to the spare room willy nilly. It might be needed. For an emergency scenario yet to be determined. Can’t you just go into a random person’s room to think? Try a neighbour or acquaintance. The spare room needs to be just that. Spare.

@Justalittlehandhold you can't, your sister is in there.

It's like that puzzle to get everybody across the river.

Ok so from your op the original set up was-

Bedroom 1 - op and dp
Bedroom 2 - children
Bedroom 3 - Dsis and dp
Bedroom 4 - spare

Your Dsis wants to go in bedroom 4. So why don't your children stay in bedroom 2 and your sis dp in bedroom 3?

Had you already decided one of your children would go in bedroom 4 but not told your sis? If yes your child either needs to share with their sibling or with you.

You have a room, you keep the room.
Your kids have a room, they keep the room.
Your sister and her DP have a room, they keep the room.
There was a spare box room, your sister now wants to use it, so fine let her, you weren't using it anyway.

You didn't need the spare room, you still don't need the spare room. Nobody is sharing with your child (and yes that would be inappropriate).

How is this complicated, is it that you can't count to 4 OP?

The more updates I read the more filled with rage I am

Ok, I’ll go out for a walk and find a bench, is that ok?

So there's no bed in the spare room, is that what u mean?
Tell ur sister to get a pop up bed lol

Could I top and tail with the sister? Has she had an emergency, because otherwise why is she in the spare room? How did she meet criteria?

Please stop being easy to understand and finding a logical solution. It really isn’t the narrative of this thread.

You’re supposed to have things in your head you’ve not disclosed like one of OPs DC wanted the spare room or something.

You are at danger of making excellent solutions otherwise and I’m not sure OP wants that.

Reposting for those who haven't got the easy-viewing web browser.

Meanwhile, OP has insisted everyone de- camp to a motorhome. Only meals allowed in the Airbnb. No sleeping. Or showers.

The OP has the makings of a delightful MIL in the future doesn't she????? 😂

Is the missing ironing board in the spare room instead of a bed?
So sibling has to move child's single bed in there to sleep on, leaving child bedless so has to share with DP.

So basically you had secretly wanted your DC to have the two bedrooms... hadn't communicated this... and then got cross when your Dsis decided to take the room she didn't know you wanted? Is that it?

Us trying to work out bed allocation