To think my sibling is being totally unreasonable about sleeping arrangements on this trip?

[jd206]

Posting here for traffic because I need to know if I’m being mad or if my sibling is just being ridiculous.

We (me, DH, DCs, my sibling, and their DP) are going on a family trip soon. It’s been planned for ages, all agreed and booked. We’re staying in a big Airbnb-type place with multiple bedrooms. The plan was that DH and I would have one room, DCs in another, and my sibling and their DP in the third. There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it.

Now, sibling has suddenly decided that they don’t want to share a room with their DP because “they sleep badly together” (which is apparently news to everyone, including DP!). They’ve said they’ll be taking the box room instead, which means DP will now have to share with one of my DCs (who is 6 and not thrilled at the idea of sharing with an adult they barely know that well).

I told them that’s not fair and that they need to just suck it up and share with their DP as planned. They’re now saying I’m being unreasonable and need to be more flexible, and that the sleeping arrangements aren’t set in stone. But surely you don’t just unilaterally change things like this last minute?!

DM has now waded in and is backing sibling, saying I’m being selfish and that we should “find a compromise” (but what compromise? DH and I aren’t going to split up for the sake of their random issue).

So, AIBU to think my sibling is being totally unfair and should just stick to the original plan? Or am I missing something here?

TL;DR: Sibling suddenly refusing to share with their DP on a trip, wants to take the spare room, leaving their DP to bunk with my child. I’ve said no, now I’m the bad guy. Who’s BU here?

I’m really struggling to understand this.

DH and I aren’t going to split up for the sake of their random issue

When you think it can’t get any weirder 😂

But it's spare, no one was going to sleep in the box room? Why would they be sharing with your child?

Unless has it changed that each of your kids were going to have a room each?

But they don’t have to? They can still have the box room? Why does the box room have to remain empty and a child have to share with an adult when no one is actually sick, or whatever your weird reasons were for it having to stay empty?

THIS MAKES NO SENSE

EXPLAIN BETTER

But their DP doesn’t have to share, the spare room- allocated to nobody- is now not spare. I honestly don’t understand the drama

Your update still doesn't make it clear why her husband has to share with your kids?? Surely you just don't have a spare bedroom? It's not a necessity.

This just gets weirder and weirder...

Nope, still not getting it. 4 bedrooms. OP and her DH in one room, DC together in second room, sibling in third room and sibling DP in 4th room?

Huh?? Why can't it just be used as a 'permanent' bedroom?

Why should their DP have to share with my DC

We don't know. We were rather hoping you'd tell us 😂

I don't see what the issue is really. Keep your fingers crossed noone gets ill.

Let the sibling take the box room for the whole stay?
Job done.

Literally sibling moves into box room.

Why should their DP have to share with my DC

They won't?!

Your posts are making no sense.

The update still doesn't make sense 🤷

Makes no sense, but the DP in with one of your DC = definitely not

So there are 3 actual bedrooms and one box room that is not really suitable as a bedroom? Not clear from what you've said. Surely whoever has decided they don't want to share with their DP can just lump it in the box room? Why does anyone have to share with your DC?

bedroom one: YOU and DH
bedroom two: CHILDREN
bedroom three: SIBLING + DP
bedroom four (box room): SPARE

Why would sibling or their partner sleeping in the box room affect what is going on in bedrooms 1 and 2?

Make it make sense!

So obviously you just abandon the idea of keeping a spare bedroom. No one would prioritise having an empty bedroom in the Airbnb and make their child share with an unknown adult in order to keep one room empty for absolutely no reason. If anyone gets ill or wants a break, they'll have to figure it out. You have enough bedrooms, the kid doesn't have to share with the adult, it's utterly ridiculous to think it's important to keep a room empty.

This really made me laugh - I'm just going to yell this at anyone who is unclear in future 😂😂😂

YABVU for such an unclear OP and follow up!

there is a spare room, so your sibling or their DP can use their original room and that one without anyone else sharing with either of them.

So confused

But surely the plan now is now by bedroom:
You and DP
Kids
Sister
BIL
So no spare bedroom but also no children sharing with your BIL?

I think you're the one being awkward! What's the point in keeping a room spare if somebody wants it? If you'd stayed in a hotel there wouldn't be an extra room just in case someone was ill. Just deal with that at the time if it happens