To think my sibling is being totally unreasonable about sleeping arrangements on this trip?

[jd206]

Posting here for traffic because I need to know if I’m being mad or if my sibling is just being ridiculous.

We (me, DH, DCs, my sibling, and their DP) are going on a family trip soon. It’s been planned for ages, all agreed and booked. We’re staying in a big Airbnb-type place with multiple bedrooms. The plan was that DH and I would have one room, DCs in another, and my sibling and their DP in the third. There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it.

Now, sibling has suddenly decided that they don’t want to share a room with their DP because “they sleep badly together” (which is apparently news to everyone, including DP!). They’ve said they’ll be taking the box room instead, which means DP will now have to share with one of my DCs (who is 6 and not thrilled at the idea of sharing with an adult they barely know that well).

I told them that’s not fair and that they need to just suck it up and share with their DP as planned. They’re now saying I’m being unreasonable and need to be more flexible, and that the sleeping arrangements aren’t set in stone. But surely you don’t just unilaterally change things like this last minute?!

DM has now waded in and is backing sibling, saying I’m being selfish and that we should “find a compromise” (but what compromise? DH and I aren’t going to split up for the sake of their random issue).

So, AIBU to think my sibling is being totally unfair and should just stick to the original plan? Or am I missing something here?

TL;DR: Sibling suddenly refusing to share with their DP on a trip, wants to take the spare room, leaving their DP to bunk with my child. I’ve said no, now I’m the bad guy. Who’s BU here?

FFS

The spare room is spare no longer. It is occupied by the time travelling anthropologist from 2075 who seems to be having some sort of mental health crisis after reading this thread.

I’m so glad I’m not going on this family trip. This is a family even nuttier than mine!

I think the farmer should cross over the river with the lion and the chicken feed first leaving the chicken on the otherside, but my cousin said it is not a lion its supposed to be a fox

Ffs OP this makes no sense!
Please do draw some diagrams for your own comprehension.

How is there a bed shortage all of a suddden?!

It's 1am and I'm laughing through tears at this, 17yr old is going to appear soon to ask if I'm okay 🤣🤣🤣

So the bedroom the sister and her dp were originally sharing doesn't have a bed in it?
Or the sister is taking the bed into the box room?

Or the op is on glue.

@OakleyAnnie (and everyone else foolishly waiting for the OP to return!) Go to the top of this page and click on the word "commented" in the sentence "MNHQ have commented on this thread" which will then take you to their post

That’s unfair.

It’s entirely possible she’s both. 😂

I don't think your sister is the problem.

We all think you're being unreasonable. Is it because you planned it and she's changing it?

Are you (and it is YOU) really going to ruin this trip because your sister wants to sleep in the tiny box room that wasn't even going to be used unless someone got sick?

There are 4 rooms with beds. You and DH will have one, DC will have another, your sister's DP will be in the third room, as planned, and your sister will be in the 4th room, bothering absolutely no one other than you.

Don't be the little girl who ruins her own birthday party because the other kids want to play a different game than she chose.

You've done a goid job planning the trip up to now, so relax, be flexible, and let everyone enjoy the trip.

Ok, I gave up for my own mental health about page 12 - looked ahead and realised that the OP has gone and we have no resolution to the basic question

When is a spare room not a spare room?

Regardless of the sister changing their mind - there is a spare room, the sister or their DP sleep in it and the other one sleeps in their original one. The End.

Why tf are you not using the spare room for either your sibling or their partner? Problem solved. Given your lack of response you are bring v v unreasonable.No

Your sister isn't the problem. You asked if you were mad and I do think you come across as batty. If I were your sister I'd cancel.

4 bedrooms (in assuming in an airbnb all have beds and at the very least box room has a sofa bed). You as a couple in bedroom 1, bedroom 2 your kids, bil in bedroom 3 (the original room for your sister and bil), your sister in bedroom 4. There is no need for your bil to share with your child unless your sister has lugged the bed out of bedroom 3 into the box room. This is unlikely as bedroom 3 if you intended it to be used by a couple would at the very least have a double bed in it.

Not sure why you have such an obsession about having a spare room.

What a ridiculous post. Please think of others before writing such rubbish.

If the slow loris is in that downstairs bathroom, what if someone gets ill and needs the bathroom quickly? It makes no sense. It’s clear to anyone that the lemur should stay in that bathroom. The slow loris can share with the grandfather, except of course on Tuesdays.

Why are people having such a hard time understanding this?

You’re being ridiculous, Sibling clearly thought they would manage but now closer to the date the reality of lost sleep is dreadful. You and DH can stay in the same room, all the kids can bunk in together, your sibling and their partner each have their own room. Can’t see the issue.

AirBnB!... [emits a high pitch squeak; rambles] ...very unreasonable, sanitarium, pandimonium!... [rambles; then mimes pointing at bedrooms and gestures to the spare room] ...a Narnian poisonous Oom!... [rambles] ...very small chaps, but immensely strong... [rambles] ...hah! like that. It has to be kept spare... [rambles] ...DP! No Beds! Aah! Brrr! Gin!... [rambles; mimes holding something] ...Mother wading into argument now…. I didn't know what to do... [rambles] ...I made a dreadful hash of the booking, I really did... [rambles] ...I freely admit, that I was very, very drunk.

Mr Tumnus came out of the wardrobe and carted it off for firewood. It’s very cold in Narnia.

Bedroom 1- you and DH
Bedroom 2 - your kids
Bedroom 3 your sister
Bedroom 4 - previously spare now housing your sisters DP.

What exactly about this arrangement is
A. Unfair
B. Means your six year old has to bunk in with their uncle?

OP stay away from architecture

You’re nuts, there’s no issue here!

Still makes no sense. If you are now saying the shrine (aka box room) doesn't have a bed then your sister / her DP takes a blow up bed to sleep in there then!

"share appropriately" sounds like your kids need an adult in the rooms with them to sleep so you've split them up with the box room available if anyone's sick or tired of it ?

Your sister has decided she doesn't want to do overnight care while in bed with her partner who's less fussed so has opted for the smaller box room & will probably move him in there with her leaving your child alone in a bunk bed hence the anxiety ?

Don't complicate matters. This is a difficult enough conundrum already!

it’s about the fact that the original plan worked for everyone, and now my sibling is unilaterally changing things to suit themselves,

No it didn’t. It didn’t work for your sister @jd206

Just let her sleep in the box room, you utter control freak.

Or come clean that you want 2 rooms for your DC, but don’t want to pay for them.

Either way, YABU