To think my sibling is being totally unreasonable about sleeping arrangements on this trip?

[jd206]

Posting here for traffic because I need to know if I’m being mad or if my sibling is just being ridiculous.

We (me, DH, DCs, my sibling, and their DP) are going on a family trip soon. It’s been planned for ages, all agreed and booked. We’re staying in a big Airbnb-type place with multiple bedrooms. The plan was that DH and I would have one room, DCs in another, and my sibling and their DP in the third. There’s also a small box room with a single bed, which was just going to be a spare in case anyone needed it.

Now, sibling has suddenly decided that they don’t want to share a room with their DP because “they sleep badly together” (which is apparently news to everyone, including DP!). They’ve said they’ll be taking the box room instead, which means DP will now have to share with one of my DCs (who is 6 and not thrilled at the idea of sharing with an adult they barely know that well).

I told them that’s not fair and that they need to just suck it up and share with their DP as planned. They’re now saying I’m being unreasonable and need to be more flexible, and that the sleeping arrangements aren’t set in stone. But surely you don’t just unilaterally change things like this last minute?!

DM has now waded in and is backing sibling, saying I’m being selfish and that we should “find a compromise” (but what compromise? DH and I aren’t going to split up for the sake of their random issue).

So, AIBU to think my sibling is being totally unfair and should just stick to the original plan? Or am I missing something here?

TL;DR: Sibling suddenly refusing to share with their DP on a trip, wants to take the spare room, leaving their DP to bunk with my child. I’ve said no, now I’m the bad guy. Who’s BU here?

You are making a drama out of nothing 😤

Sewing room?

That's exactly what this confusing thread needs - someone making up an imaginary scenario...

Maybe the box room has an interesting wardrobe that leads to a strange snowy land and Op doesn't want anyone else to find it?

This seems to be the most plausible explanation to this madness. Still not sure how she came to the conclusion that her child has to share with BIL, though.

Oo sneaky 😀

I'm not surprised that your mum and sister are pissed off with you OP. You're either exceptionally daft or ridiculously awkward.

I’m not understanding this either.

Don't forget that the hamster requires its own room with en suite.

Either that, or the OP paid two thirds and sibling a third to reflect that OP's family were using two rooms and sibling one? And now sibling wants 50% of the space.

I still can't understand how the OP has decided this means her six year old has to share with the adult partner of sibling though; no one would ever reach that conclusion when there is a whole other room in the property!

Oh yes the sneaky DC sharing but not really sharing with each other tactic.

I really think you should keep at least 2 or 3 rooms free. What if more than one person feels ill? How about:

Room 1 - you and DP
Bathroom - sibling
Car - sibling's DP
Porch - Children
Room 2 - spare
Room 3 - spare
Room 4 - spare

Thank me later.

You made a mistake when you wrote it out. Happens to the best of us. I'd abandon this one and start afresh again another day. Best of luck in your endeavors.

I'm glad I'm not the joy confused person around here!

OP. You need to flex a little. The box room is spare. It can be used by your sibling or their DP.

Your issue is you won't move from the idea it's spare and needs to rema8n empty.

If your Dsibling is paying half then I'm not surprised they are making dibs in the "spare" room.

If they aren't then rearrange the cost split as you are both using 2 of the rooms.

Split it into 7. Then times 4 for 2 doubles and 3 for double and single.

So if it costs £700 you and DH pay £400 and them £300.

Nothing makes sense.
There are 3 bedrooms and a boxroom, the boxroom was going to be spare but now sibling or their DP will have it.....but how does that affect anyone else?

Maybe a diagram would help? 🤣

OP you are clearly unreasonable as noone has a clue what you are on about.

OMG I THINK I’VE STAYED THERE!

YANBU at all op. Keep the spare oom spare, there’s delicious Turkish delight in there!

I think OP is playing the role of sibling.
And is going to show Sibling the responses on this thread. So sibling can see how ridiculous they are being.
That's the only thing that makes a LITTLE bit of sense.
Not a lot, just a little.

It’s not about keeping the room empty for no reason, it’s about the fact that the original plan worked for everyone, and now my sibling is unilaterally changing things to suit themselves, which has a knock-on effect on my DC. The box room was always just a spare—not a main bedroom—so there was a reason for it not being assigned.

If they’d said from the start they didn’t want to share with their DP, we could have worked something out. But deciding last minute that their DP has to bunk with my 6yo instead? That’s not fair. Why should my child’s sleeping arrangements be disrupted just because my sibling doesn’t fancy sharing a bed?

Batshit
Diagram required for clarification

Or they could all sleep in one room and have three spare rooms just in case anyone needs them.

It's simple: kids share with you and DH leaving room 2 spare. When they need a break or are ill they go back in room 2...
Or just do that from the start?

I think they should all sleep in the cars and have 4 empty bedrooms
Why should the 6 year old be expected to share a house with their aunt/uncle?

Who needs a sanitorium on a bog standard week away? Are any of you prone to bouts of cholera?

Your explanation is even more bonkers.

The DP is staying on their room. Your sister is taking the spare.

You don't need an empty room just in case someone is ill. If they are rejigged then.

Are you paying 3/4 of the rental and basically don't want them using 2 rooms?