She wants the gifted money back

[HereForItMaybe]

I'll keep it short - DM very kindly gifted myself and my brother £50k each, 5 years ago.

She has now asked for it back. My brother has not been asked.

AIBU to say no?

I'd laugh and say you're joking right?
But no, I'm not selling my house. End of conversation.

Sorry Mum, you kindly gifted me the money. Which I have used to help purchase my home. (Not wasted it away like DB)
End of story.

I would discuss this with your brother and you agree to do the same. Either you both give £25k each back or you both give nothing back.

Whilst I think it’s unfair of her to ask for any of the money back, it’s really bad to only ask one of you for it. Regardless of what it was spent on, you and your brother should be treated equally. He might be able to sell his car, remortgage or take out a loan too

Oh and tell Auntie to fuck off. Point out all the paperwork you both had to sign to use that money to buy a house exists precisely to prevent this sort of bullshit and money laundering/tax avoidance!

I think if you start pointing out that trying to claim it was a loan, therefore lying on the paperwork, may have some tax/benefits implications that might shut the pair of them up.

Oh my word! Who does this?! She gifted you the money & you used it to buy your home. Simple. It’s not greedy at all. I would just say “I used to buy my house & I don’t have it” surely she’s not expecting you to sell up to give her the gift back!

Crikey, she sounds awful. I’d instigate a conversation (including your DB) about what you can both afford to give her back. Or I’d just say no, depending on how much I valued the relationship.

I’m sorry mum, but you know I spent the money on buying my home so I don’t actually have it.

And don’t tell her about any savings.

She can’t seriously want you to sell your home or car or get a loan so she can have it? What kind of a parent thinks like that?

She’s not in hardship and you’ve used the money for your own home - I’d tell her a straight no and your aunt to mind her own business!
She sees you as a pushover - I’d create some distance whatever her reaction to your refusal.

Drink me!

Tell her you didn't spend it on the house after all... you bought this, and you drank it!

(Your brother also has a house, will he be expected to sell it??)

Next time your aunt speaks to you, tell her the money is spent on the home as intended and so auntie, perhaps YOU can give mum 50k.

So basically, she planned badly and now she wants to screw you over, thereby creating massive problems for you and potentially meaning you have to sell your place. It’s a big fat no in my books. A gift is a gift. Particularly a money gift which is so tied up in other things now.

You should start by telling your aunt to fuck off.

Not her money or her business. She's just a nosey cunt trying to guilt trip you.

As for your mother - she chose to give you the 50k.

You can choose to give it back, or not. I'd be opting for the latter.

You’re not being unreasonable to keep it. Your mum is being awful asking you to sell your home, for her to be able to move house, especially after she’s not asking for your brother to repay it, because of how he chose to spend his share.

Say no. Tell her you’re hurt that she’s requesting the gift back, knowing it would mean you losing your home and knowing that she’s only asking you to repay it and not both of you.

You say you’re worried about looking bad, but you know that you’re not, so why does it matter? If you’re worried about the impact on your relationship with your mum if you decline, either way it’s damaged and this is her doing.

The best scenario is that your mum comes to her senses, and abandons the idea.

Yes this. why can't your brother sell his cars?

Don’t tell the nosy cunt to fuck off, tell her to give the mum 50k. That should shut her up.

What she is asking of you seems so cruel and selfish.

She can't ask for the money back because it is now your money. It wasn't a loan.

I would refuse, you shouldn’t have to sell your home for this. She is being very unreasonable.

Your brother could sell his house and give her the money back, but he's not been asked!

I would say no.

Bottom line is you don't and won't have it. Don't open up lines of argument. Don't ask her "why not ask xyz", just be clear that you don't have it.

You have spent it - on your house. Your brother could always sell his house. Stand firm.

What does your brother say about it all ?

She gifted uou each £50k - gift is just that a gift - there were no conditions to it - you could have spent it all on weekends away or on a lot of "stuff" - just calmly say I do t have it anymore

Sadly I think she will fall out with you about it but tbh if this is how she behaves then you may well be out of it , sad though that would be

I think the answer should be ‘no’. It doesn’t seem reasonable for your mother to have gifted you money and now you have to leave your home to give it back! However, you’ll have to be willing to deal with the reaction.

Well you know now who will help her out later in life and it won't be you.
What a bitch.
Just a tip do NOT give her the money back if it is writing that it's a gift.